Handsome Dan's Final Say

Yes, I realize it's been a while. When I saw that my last post was from back in July of 2013 I couldn't believe it myself.

But the Handsome One is back and he's STILL the Smartest Man Not In Professional Wrestling! [trademark, muthaphuckas!] Want proof? Just click on the link below and listen to me ramble in a drowsy stupor on the long ride home New Year's Eve and marvel how that even at half-speed, my brain is still calculating faster than 90% of the backwards cap wearing masses.

But don't just stop there. Further your education by reading some of the articles here as well, and while they may not make you as smart as me, you might just be able to impress your friends with the wisdom you glean.

So without further ado, I give you...Handsome Dan's Final Say!

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WWE Suffering From Severe Memory Loss

As of WrestleMania XXIX, WWE featured a roster of 64 male workers. Subtract the 5 part-timers (Chris Jericho, The Rock, Triple H, Undertaker, and Brock Lesnar) and you're left with 59. Subtract the 2 non-wrestlers (Hornswoggle and Ricardo Rodriguez) and you're left with 57.

Of those 57 male wrestlers, 19 were involved in matches at WrestleMania XXIX. Add the 4 (Brodus Clay, Tensai, Cody Rhodes, and Damien Sandow)that were originally scheduled to have a match and that gives you 22.

So 22 of 57, or 38% of the current regular roster of male workers was doing anything noteworthy or of any interest at the time of WrestleMania XXIX.

[Author's Note: I'm using the WWF roster from the time of Survivor Series 1988 because that's when I was the most familiar with the entire depth of the roster]

By contrast, going into the 1988 Survivor Series event, of the 50 male workers on the regular roster, 28 were involved in some type of program, angle, or feud.

That's 28 of 50, or 56%.

Pretty significant difference, right? Even more so when you consider these numbers:

WWE currently offers 6.5 hours (7.5 if you count NXT; I'm not only because viewers have to pay for a subscription to Hulu Plus in order to watch it)of programming every week on free TV.

All current WWE tv shows feature original programming. Yes, there are replays galore from other shows, but they are built around original content: matches, promos, & backstage segments.

By contrast, the WWF in 1988 offered only 5 hours of programming every week on free TV.

The shows offered by the WWF in 1988 were made up mostly of matches and segments that were re-aired from other shows and very little original content to the point that I as a ten year-old fan didn't even watch All-American Wrestling or Wrestling Spotlight because I knew I wasn't going to see anything I hadn't already seen before.

Yet the WWF in 1988 was able to generate interest in a greater percentage of the regular roster of male workers than WWE has today despite more tv time and more original content. By a whopping 18%! How is that possible?

4 reasons. That we'll see as we examine the differences between the TV shows WWF offered in 1988 and those offered by WWE today:

1) They Utilized More of the Talent. Makes sense, right? You use more of your roster, fans care about more of your roster. In a regular WWF programming week, you were more likely to see Hercules or Koko B. Ware wrestle than Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant.

2) They Utilized Tag Teams. Bit players like The Barbarian, The Warlord, Barry Darsow (Smash of Demolition), Raymond Rougeau, and Jim Neidhart, guys who would never do anything particularly interesting in their singles careers, fans could appreciate and become invested in because they were part of an entertaining, competitive tag team division (More on that later).



3) They Utilzed Squash Matches. Wrestlers at every stage of their career, whether veterans whose best days were behind them like Harley Race, Ken Patera, Tito Santana, or Greg Valentine, as well as rising stars who had not yet peaked like Curt Hennig, The Blue Blazer, or Big Bossman, could always look impressive and maintain a certain amount of respect in the eyes of fans by mowing down local jobbers on TV week-in and week-out. Despite the match not being competitive, it still captured my imagination as a fan because it was a glimpse into the character's persona and moveset. Squash matches showed fans how good a WWF Superstar could be. And it would whet their anticipation for the big encounter between that Superstar and their arch-rival, or for the time when that Superstar moved up in competition. It would spark the imagination and get fans thinking up dream matches and wondering, "What would happen if Mr. Perfect met The Blue Blazer?" or, "I can't wait to see Demolition finally matched up against The Powers of Pain!" That's excitement. That's fan interest. And it was created by squash matches.

4) They Utilized a Good Mix. I'll admit, as much as I appreciated a good squash, it was also nice to see the occasional competitive match. And the WWF, at least in 1988, smartly balanced their programming by offering midcard, lower midcard, and tag team matches between members of the regular roster as either the "Feature Match" of their syndicated shows, or sprinkled throughout Prime Time Wrestling (my personal favorite). So you never went too long without seeing The Rockers vs. The Conquistadors, The Red Rooster vs. Ken Patera, or Curt Hennig vs. Jim Brunzell. They may not have been "dream matches" but they were more competitive than squash matches and highly entertaining. And you appreciated them as a "rare treat" because it wasn't something you saw all the time.

By contrast, in weekly WWE programming today:

1) They Utilize the Same Talent Over and Over. You could probably count on both hands the workers you see on WWE programming every week. If fans never see Alex Riley, Justin Gabriel, Ted DiBiase Jr., Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, Curt Hawkins, JTG, or Michael McGillicuty, how are they supposed to care about them?



2) They Under-utilize Tag Teams. The only real tag team WWE has is Team Hell No. Only recently have the teams of Rhodes Scholars and Brodus Clay & Tensai been taken seriously. Other recognize tag teams are either glorified jobbers getting squashed every week (The Prime Time Players and Primo & Epico), or are never seen (Jimmy & Jey Uso).

3) Superstars Get Squashed. WWE still utilizes squash matches. But now, it's the workers on the regular roster getting squashed by the upper card guys and losing all their credibility.

4) The Same Match-ups Occur Over and Over. Without jobbers to squash, mid and lower card guys have to do the job every week. This makes match-ups between members of the regular roster commonplace instead of a rare treat. Also, the upper card guys are on TV and wrestling each other every week making what should be marquee matches that generate lots of excitement and pay-per-view revenue, into everyday occurances that are regarded as no big deal.



WWE is making plenty of money. Because they have more to sell now than ever before. But television ratings indicate that the public's interest in their TV shows has waned. I realize ratings aren't as critical as they used to be. Vince is no longer selling his TV show. He's selling his brand. And now that WWE is the only game in town as far as wrestling goes, he's always going to have an audience.

But at what cost? There's an underlying tragedy in all of this and it's not just that the fans aren't being entertained as well as they could be.

Fans who grew up watching wrestling the same time I did have fond memories of the things they saw despite the fact that there were no part-timers. They didn't need big names from the past coming back just to get them to buy a pay-per-view. They cared about the current roster. They cared about the entire roster, from the midcard all the way down to glorified jobbers like Sam Houston, Koko B. Ware, and "Dangerous" Danny Davis.



And they cared about tag teams. This is where the tragedy really lies.

Are WWE and its fans really missing anything by not getting a greater percentage of the current roster more involved in meaningful storylines?

The answer is yes.

Consider, two men who would become the WWF's biggest stars, Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, were members of mid-level tag teams in 1988. Sure, the Hart Foundation had won the tag team titles by then but their reign was brief and unremarkable. There was no guarantee that they'd ever win the belts again. Sure no one suspected at that time what Bret would become.

Same with Shawn. The Rockers never won the tag titles. I'm sure some within the organization thought he had a singles future, but certainly not to the degree that he eventually achieved.

The point is, these men had the opportunity to show glimpses of what they could do because of tag teams. Fans had the opportunity to invest in them emotionally because of tag teams.

So when it was time for Bret to challenge Curt Hennig for the Intercontinental title, the fans were already behind him. When Shawn Michaels threw his longtime partner Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window, fans were in utter disbelief. These two guys were able to hit the ground running as singles performers thanks to the time they spent working in tag teams.



Imagine if both had worked strictly singles from the time they entered the WWF. It took Bret six years before he began a successful singles run. For Shawn it took four years. That's longer than the entire tenure of some midcarders. Perhaps they would've stuck. But what if they hadn't? There would be none of the accomplishments, the great matches, or the memories.

Who knows what accomplishments, what matches, what memories WWE and its fans could be experiencing right now or even five years from now but never will because of World Wrestling Entertainment's current disregard for tag team wrestling?

The cynic may say, "Ah, who cares about a Zack Ryder, or a Ted DiBiase, or a Michael McGillicuty? They aren't anything great." The same could've easily been said about a couple of guys in 1988. "Bret Hart? Yeah, he's good but he'll never be World Champion. He's just not charismatic enough." "Shawn Michaels? That long-haired pretty boy from that sissy tag team?" Yeah, that Shawn Michaels. Believe it or not, he's going to become the greatest wrestler of all-time. "No fucking way!"



What would you have said?

Who will take up the mantle of "the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be"? Who will be the next "Showstopper" or "Mr. WrestleMania"? Or is the question rather, "Who could it have been?"



Sadly, we may never know.

And that's the last word for now. Don't let the chance to make your mark pass you by. Leave a comment, then tell your friends to come check out what you had to say.

[You can read more of "Handsome" Dan's work on the Ring Wars Facebook Page. He also writes a weekly review of WWE Smackdown for Wrestling Rambles and is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks.]

SMH! The Lamest Moments in Wrestling History

We've all been there. You're flipping through the channels as a kid and you come across this bizarre spectacle known as professional wrestling. And for some cosmic reason that no one can explain, you find yourself unable to look away. You're officially hooked. Now, the people around you, family, maybe even friends, don't understand your obsession but that doesn't stop you from defending your newfound love at every opportunity.

And then it happens. It's Saturday morning and there you are minding your own business. You've just poured yourself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and sat down to watch Superstars of Wrestling when something takes place on your tv that causes a momentary disconnect from your soul and the thing you love and you find yourself powerless to resist that all too human of instincts, shaking your head. For not even you, with all your diehard love of pro wrestling can justify what you've just witnessed. And if that weren't bad enough, that's the exact moment your infidel loved ones decide to walk into the room! Now they're shaking their heads too and you're doing everything you can not to make eye contact.

How do I know this story so well? Because I've been there too. So join me as we relive the pain of the Lamest Moments in Wrestling History.

The following moment was what inspired the idea for this post so I feel it fitting we start with...

THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR - HULK HOGAN FEUD

This video features the contract signing to end all contract signings and probably marks the beginning of the end of my first phase of dedicated wrestling fandom.



If you've seen it before or are seeing it for the first time, even a ten year-old would have to admit it's just plain ridiculous. And that's why now that I think about it, the title of this post couldn't be more appropriate because it is virtually impossible to watch this crap and not shake your head in utter disbelief at how tragically bad it is!

Did this contract signing or the promos by Warrior leading up to the big match (which were just as bad. Don't believe me? Watch this video.) kill my enthusiasm for the rivalry? Almost. But the truth is, I didn't need the contract signing, or Warrior's promos to sell me on the idea of the two biggest stars in wrestling at the time, two unbeatable babyfaces, the top two champions, in an epic showdown at wrestling's biggest event of the year. DUH! Of course any wrestling fan's going to want to see that!



I was twelve when this all went down and even though I was old enough to know that wrestling was "fake," I could still get excited about big match-ups like this because they didn't happen all the time. Imagine trying to sell this today? Anyone mind if I ramble a little here?

Take the elements that made Hogan vs. Warrior I such a huge draw and apply them to today's WWE landscape and here's what you get:

Wrestling's two biggest stars: Hogan and Warrior were both members of the regular roster at the time and worked house shows so The Rock and Undertaker would immediately be disqualified. Obviously, one of the participants would have to be John Cena. But who would the other one be? Randy Orton? Ryback? I'm going to say Ryback only because he started to really pick up steam while challenging for CM Punk's WWE Title around the time of Survivor Series and that's usually when the seeds for the main event of WrestleMania are planted. Orton probably gets bigger pops and moves more merch but Ryback has a lot of the intangibles to be a big star.

Two unbeatable babyfaces: This certainly applies to Cena, who hasn't lost clean since what, 2005? No, his loss to The Rock doesn't count. That's simply an anomaly. Like Halley's comet or something. Ryback has yet to be cleanly beaten, unless you count his loss to the Shielld in the six man tag match at Elimination Chamber. At least as a singles competitor, he's not lost fairly.

The top two champions: Here's where the water get a little murky. Back in the day, they would put a belt on a guy because he was over. These days, I'm not exactly sure why they put belts on people. I would say it's because they're over, like in the case of Antonio Cesaro, who's talent cannot be questioned or suppressed. However, since winning the United States Championship, he's lost more than he ever did without it. So it would almost seem like getting over and getting the title has actually hurt him. Whereas, when it came to the Ultimate Warrior, he clearly had a path laid out before him that stretched from his debut all the way to the WWF Championship and the Intercontinental Title was just a stop along the way. There was no stopping of his momentum.

I realize it's a different era, and actually, the secondary singles championships have been so devalued that they would hardly matter in a marquee match-up like this, but it would be nice if Ryback had won the I-C title and successfully defended it until the big showdown between himself and John Cena at WrestleMania.

It seems hard to believe, but when broken down like this, you can see how a big match like this is actually plausible in the current WWE. Nevertheless, that's not what we're getting. At least not this year. Would it be on the same level as Warrior vs. Hogan? Hard to say. It would all depend on the build-up. I would say with all certainty that the promos would be better. I'd even say with absolute confidence that the match itself would be better. Damn, the more I entertain the thought, the more I regret that WWE didn't have the foresight to make John Cena vs. Ryback happen but oh well. I guess they figure, there's always next year, right?

SWEET SAPPHIRE! POLKA DOTS, IF YOU WILL...

When Dusty Rhodes first debuted in the WWF his attire consisted mostly of a tie-dyed shirt and jeans. Fine. He may be grossly out of shape, but he's Dusty Freaking Rhodes. Even as someone who never got to watch him because I was grew up on the wrong side of the country, I knew who he was and even though he was doing some rather silly "Common Man" skits, I could still take him seriously.

But then...



Alright, not the worst wardrobe change. I mean, polka dots are fun, right? As long as "The Dream" gets in there and takes care of business, I can ignore those Power Pellets that he's got all over him.

Until...



The fuck?? Believe it or not, this picture only tells part of the tale. Not only did these two heftys wear matching dots, but they put them suckers in motion! Observe...but be warned, this video is not for the faint of heart.

Incredible as it may seem, because he's Dusty Freaking Rhodes and possessing of otherworldly charisma, the man made this work. That is, until Vince McMahon decided the only way to truly bury "The American Dream" once and for all was to simply, bury him. So he went on a losing streak the likes of which are reserved these days for anyone wearing a championship belt not named Dwayne or Alberto.

There is so much more to say on this subject, and fear not, for I will revisit this topic very, very soon. But seeing as how it is now almost 4am and I'm supposed to report to work in three hours, this is where this post ends. So for now I suggest you take what I've given you and....DISCUSS!

["Handsome" Dan Lopez, The Smartest Man Not In Pro Wrestling is a regular contributor to WrestlingRambles.com. He is also a regular mention on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.]

Review In The Raw 12-10-12: Do not adjust your sets. You HAVE see this all before.

Segment 1. Dolph Ziggler: A Career Retrospective

- How eerily symbolic was Dolph's little demonstration? He does all the work to climb the ladder of success, only to get completely overshadowed by the two big men and be sent toppling back to the ground. Welcome back to reality, Dolph!

- Still not crazy about the way they're booking Sheamus. I wrote a post entitled "Where Have All The Good Guys Gone?" for SPINEBUSTER.com (back when they were still up and running) and may have to recreate it here. The gist of it though was, why does WWE expect us to cheer for hypocritical babyfaces who act like heels? Sheamus is a terrific example of this. He tries to come across as a noble warrior and a hero, yet his entire babyface run has been built on sneak attacks and Pearl Harbor jobs. I have nothing against a babyface employing such tactics, but only if they're honest about it the way "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was. As a fan you were never surprised when he took a short cut to win a match because that's who he was. He was The Rattlesnake. D.T.A., you stupid piece of trash et cetera, et cetera!

Anyhow, before I dwell too long on this subject, just keep that little nugget of truth in the back of your mind because you're going to see it play out as a recurring theme in tonight's show.

- Here's my problem, the purpose of this segment was soley to sell tickets and pay-per-view buys for TLC. As a fan, I don't want to see Sheamus win so why would I want to watch? I wouldn't mind seeing Big Show retain the belt but they already had a very good wrestling match at Hell In A Cell that Show won. Are they really going to top that beating each other with chairs?

I don't want to see Cena win Dolph's MITB briefcase. The only way Dolph will win is if there's interference of some kind so why would I want to watch a match that Ziggler will carry only to end up with a shitty payoff? I don't.

- This is what you call a good ol' fashioned FAIL! To his credit, Big Show was strong on the mic.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 2. Wade gets got.

- Vickie Guerrero is a very good performer. Say what you want about being tired of her but I'm not. She gets a reaction and that's what you want in a wrestling show.

- Normally I wouldn't mind R-Truth getting a "flash" win over Wade Barrett like that but on the Raw before a pay-per-view? Wade is the one that has been built strong on Raw in the weeks leading up to his match at TLC with Kofi. Why have him lose now? This could've been done a couple of weeks ago if you wanted to throw Truth a bone and give him a cheap win. Not a deal-breaker, but a poor decision for sure.

If they were going to have Wade lose, at least follow it up with a backstage interview where he blows off the loss. Or have him attack R-Truth to exact a measure of revenge. ANYTHING just to make him look strong on the way out. Again, if the idea is to sell the pay-per-view, methinks they be going about it all wrong.

- Remember what I said about supposed white meat babyfaces acting like heels? We had another example in Kofi taking a cheap shot on Wade. Kofi, you're the champion. You're the good guy. Why would you jump someone who a) just had a match, b) just lost said match, and c) is at the challenger's disadvantage on Sunday? And why the hell should I be cheering you for doing it? I'm not. Go to hell, Kofi. Or Ghana, West Africa. Whichever's closer.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 3. AJ is a pervert.

- Just when I thought WWE was going to listen to its audience and let the John Cena-AJ romance angle die of natural causes, here they are trying to revive it again. We hate John Cena. We love AJ. We don't want someone we HATE macking on someone we LOVE.

I understand the logic behind trying to keep Cena "in the mix" by involving him with those who are relevant, but I think there are better ways to do that than by forcing an angle on their fans that is clearly going nowhere.

- The tag team fatal four-way was basically a formality.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 4. "CO-DY'S MUS-TACHE!" CLAP! CLAP! CLAP CLAP CLAP!

- Surprised to see Cody back so soon from injury but whoever put the match together did it right. Cody looked tremendous in picking up the win for his team.

- Also give props to whoever had the idea to book the Usos so strong. It always gives cause to us old-schoolers to get optimistic about a resurgence in tag team wrestling when we see a match like this. However, with makeshift teams like Rhodes Scholars, Mysterio & Sin Cara, and Team Hell No in the top spots, not sure there's room for teams like the Usos even though they are clearly over with the fans.

Not that the Usos need to win the Tag Team Titles or anything. But just having them featured more often in matches against the top teams or even Primo and Epico, would be a refreshing break from the norm.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 5. That wave looks familiar. Where have I seen it before?

- Opening narration. Mysterious rogue group attacking members of the roster. And now the princess wave. What else is WWE going to admit that TNA has done right?
It's a great gimmick for a heel ladies' champion. While we're on the subject so is that "photo shoot" routine Eve did at the end of her match with Alicia Fox.

My question is, why can't these ideas be given to a woman who can actually wrestle? I realize Beth Phoenix isn't the glamor puss that Eve is, but she can at least put on a decent match. You mean to tell me these gimmicks wouldn't have worked just as well for her? Maybe Eve is just that ambitious and she's coming up with these things herself but if not, creative needs to quit catering to these Runway Rejects and start investing in women who can actually deliver a payoff once it's time to get in the ring. I still say there's a untapped market of young female fans longing for real female athletes that they can look up to.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 6. More symbolism can't silence the fans.

- Just like the example of Ziggler's ladder toppling over, how about WWE Champion CM Punk having to hobble out on crutches? His entire reign as champion has always seemed a bit hobbled.

One thing that can't be denied though is that CM Punk is over with the fans. He got a resounding ovation with his line "working more days than anyone else." The fans believe it because they see it. In spite of his and Paul Heyman's attempts to insult the fans and play the heel role, I think the fans are smart enough to appreciate that he's in his comfort zone now. I didn't like him either when he was trying to be "Cena Lite" as the babyface champion because it clearly wasn't what he was good at. But fans appreciate a performer playing their role well whether it's as a heel or a face. And right now, fans are appreciating CM Punk.

- Was it just me or did it seem like they cut him off to soon? His promo just seemed to end awkwardly. Still, it was good, and I liked that he started building toward his match with The Rock. That is one I would pay money to see.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 7. Somebody change the CD. It's skipping.

- Sheamus vs. Dolph. It's Sheamus vs. Dolph. Sheamus vs. Dolph. This is why they make such a big deal anytime two Superstars are in a match and HAVE NEVER FACED EACH OTHER ONE-ON-ONE BEFORE. Because even they know that they keep giving us the same matches on TV over and over and over again.

Not that Sheamus vs. Dolph is a bad match. It's always good. But how many damn times can we watch it just to see the same fucking result??

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 8. The Diesel Effect.

- It happened twice tonight. The babyface kicks out of a move that should've beaten anybody. The crowd's response? "BOOOOOOOOOO!" The Superman shit just needs to go away already. Especially now that kayfabe is dead. Fans know the only reason Sheamus gets to kick out is because he's the "good guy" and they recognize when a move should win a match, especially when someone like Ziggler is working his ass off.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 9. Midget porn.

- Have to give credit where it's due. The segment with Vickie, Hornswoggle and Khali was funny.

- The Shield's Joker-esque "manifesto" was okay. I hate seeing things that have the potential to be great, come up just a little short of that. Still, it accomplished the goal of adding to The Shield's reputation.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 10. Pretty sure even the radio knows Zack Ryder's no longer relevant.

- Once upon a time, Zack Ryder would've gotten a HUGE ovation in New Jersey. Now? Crickets. I guess it's possible for him to become relevant again if he's given another push. Just not sure if the stars will ever align the way they did for him a year ago when he was on a roll with his internet show and making backstage cameo appearances. Not that I'm a mark for Zack Ryder. It's just a shame that all the work he did to get himself over was sacrificed on the altar of the WWE's Golden Nugget.

- The fans clearly could've cared less about this match and it damn near put me in a coma as a result. Not that the action was bad. But you can't just throw two guys in the ring that nobody cares about...and expect people to care about it!

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 11. Brad Maddox screws AJ (not as hot as it sounds)

- I realize that if dogshit could shit, it would shit this match. But if this had lead to a backstage segment in which Vince tells Maddox that if he wants to be in the spotlight so badly he could have a match at TLC against AJ, I would've marked out hard core!

Sadly, that didn't happen. But at the time, I was optimistic. I hope there's a lot more of Brad Maddox in the future because he's a character that hasn't been done in a while so it's fresh. And I find him to be a charismatic performer.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 12. CHAMPION VERSUS CHAMPION!!!! (And no one cared)

- Not that Kofi vs. Cesaro was a bad match. It was a good match. And I'm glad Cesaro won clean as fuck. But the Intercontinental Champion faces the United States Champion in a one-on-one showdown...and it's just some throw-in "Who cares?" match to fill time?

I'm sorry but that just pisses me off! How about we make some money, build a story behind a match like this, and make the product special instead?

Now that Wade Barrett AND Kofi Kingston both lost on the go-home show before a pay-per-view in meaningless throw-away matches, why should I care about who wins the Intercontinental Title? It's like the past three weeks they've spent building up that encounter to mean something was just pissed away.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 13. Michael Cole can't hide his hard-on (hey look, three "H's")

- Regardless of everything that was wrong with the way the Cesaro-Kofi match was booked, I have to give props to first of all Michael Cole for actually selling a new talent on commentary, and the WWE for having the right guy win. Must've been a Triple H hire.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 14. Colonel DAMN Sanders

- This is a great example of what's wrong with a three-hour show. This Miz TV segment was very good for everyone invovled. But it should've been happening on next week's Raw. Instead, next week, Team Rhodes Scholars is probably going to have another match that they'll either lose or win that will devalue either themselves or one of the other tag teams.

Again, I understand why the show is three hours. But if we're talking about making the product special and making money long term, I just think stretching things out a little further, making it last a little longer, is the smarter approach. But what do I know, right? I'm just a goon with a keyboard.

- That being said, it was a decent segment. Team Rhodes Scholars handled themselves extremely well. Very happy for Cody Rhodes.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 15. I'm here to show the world! Here I am again! Yoo-hoo, here I am again!

- Dolph Ziggler did a fine job on commentary but this was his third appearance in the arena. It just felt like overkill.

- The match was standard John Cena vs. Big Show fare. Not terrible, but again, when it's been done so many times who gives a flying shit?

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 16. What do you know? Less IS more!

- The loudest ovations of the night came for the people we saw the least during the show. Team Hell No came out to a HUGE pop. And then of course, the fans worked themselves into a frenzy for Ryback, who the company continues to handle well.

If the philosophy is, sell the main event, then WWE is doing a good job because they have certainly done that.

Last Word: PLUS +

FINAL TALLY: 7 PLUS, 9 MINUS

After two weeks of breaking even, we've had a first mostly negative Raw in a month.

My chief points of praise:

- Ryback and Team Hell No are hot enough that even though they haven't done a great job of building up The Shield, they've done enough with the babyfaces to get people to care about TLC and probably order it.
- Some of the young heels like Sandow and Antonio Cesaro continue to be booked strong. At least on Raw.

My chief complaints:

- Too many matches that we've either seen way too many times before or don't care about.
- Illogical booking that did nothing to build interest in upcoming pay-per-view matches like Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett.
- Three hours results in way too much filler being needed which results in throw-away matches or segments that could've been used more effectively on a future show. Thus, resulting in a show that is mostly bad.

It's not like WWE isn't doing anything right. But when you have to sit through three fucking hours just to get half a good show it's a little maddening because we've all got better things to do with our time. I really don't need that much wrestling. I can be just as satisfied with a show that's an hour and half and gets me to care about the product to the point that I might actually order the upcoming pay-per-view.

Because I love wrestling, I don't always need to be sold on a pay-per-view. But speaking strictly from a fan's perspective who is deciding on what to do with his dollars during the holiday season, I just feel like interest in TLC could've been generated more efficiently with this particular episode of Raw.

That's the last word for now, beanbags. Until next time.....DISCUSS!

[Our intrepid author is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling shows The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.]

Review In The Raw 12-03-12: Tell Me A Lie

[Author-has-his-period Note: I realize this is a couple of days old but I have a life, dammit and if Raw was as "must see" as The Miz thinks he is, which he isn't, maybe I would get this shit out a little quicker. Just be thankful I was able to get through the show at all to bring you this review.]

Segment 1. Team Hell No vs. Prime Time Players, Part One.

-If the selling point of this first segment was supposed to be the wrestling, then it failed miserably.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 2. The Shield jumps Team Hell No.

-Clearly Darren Young blew an opportunity on commentary last week the way Michael Cole (Vince McMahon) kept deriding him for not saying much both last week and this week. Don't be surprised if you see Titus break out first.

-At least the tag champs didn't job. I like that Shield got some air time right off the bat and looked ruthless and strong.

-Sheamus and Cena's backstage segment was ridiculous and not in a good way.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 3. AJ gets lucky with Tamina (not as hot as it sounds)

-These two should not be wrestling already. With proper build, this could've been made a pay-per-view series. Not that I really care to see it because AJ can't wrestle for shit but still, do we want to make money here or not?

-Giving credit where it's due, at least they were smart enough to include AJ on the show and seeing her back in her wrestling gear was almost enough for me to pardon this atrocity. Almost.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 4. Paul Heyman and CM Punk in-ring promo. Miz interrupts.

-Paul Heyman clearly knows his endgame before he starts speaking. That's why he's so damn good, folks. He's not out there just rambling and it shows.

-Punk is clearly so much more comfortable being the heel and this whole respect angle, while getting a little monotonous, makes sense and has the legs necessary for a heel champ to run with (now if only Punk still had legs to run with, OHHHHHHHH!)

-I honestly got excited at first when Miz came out because I honestly thought that would make for a good match-up. But I quickly got over it after he started speaking. Miz was AWWWWWSOMMMME as WWE Champion but has been anything but that since his feud with Alex Riley.

-The best in this segment came prematurely which is never a good thing.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 5. Entrances galore and some wrestling.

-The Cena-Sheamus vs. Show-Ziggler tag match started around the one hour mark and all I could think was, "This should be the main event. If the show ended here it would be perfect. But no, there's still TWO MORE HOURS TO GO!!"

-That being said, the action was good and the crowd was hot for this match.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 6. Ziggler shows off how great he is at getting pinned.

-It's like we're getting house shows on Raw each week. Nothing wrong with this finish for the sake of popping the live crowd, but for the rest of watching at home, why the fuck would I want to order a pay-per-view when clearly Dolph Ziggler is utterly INCAPABLE of beating John Cena? Again, we here to make money or not?

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 7. Forget apprentice, I'll be his concubine!

-I am in mad man love with Damien Sandow. It's not just that he's a great character. But he has bought into this character completely to that point that we all believe he is this snobby intellectual douchebag. THAT, my friends, is a great heel!

-Glad he got the best of Santino.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 8. Because Brian Maddox was on it.

-Sandow beats Santino and somewhere in the universe, Killer Kowalski remains at rest.

-Thought they had forgotten about this guy but I'm glad they didn't because he's pretty freaking entertaining! Who knew?

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 9. Anybody know where I can find two Mexicans willing to wrestle for money?

-When I first saw that it was going to be Sin Cara vs. Del Rio I thought, "Damn, I need to mow my grass tomorrow!" No, actually I thought, "Who gives a flying burrito?"

-But The Man With No Face and The Man With No Originiality actually put on a pretty damn good match.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 10. Cue the trumpet, Ricardo!

-It's almost as if ADR is being built the same way Randy Orton has been over the past couple of years. Despite not doing anything particularly meaningful, he keeps winning. This should serve him well in the future. Whether or not serves wrestling fans well, the jury's still out on that. Still, it was a good match.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 11. NO CHANCE IN HELLLLLL!!!!!!!! (Of saving this segment)

-Vince came back for this?

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 12. "WTF? MF'N Viper's in the MF'N ring?! I'm calling in Shield!"

-Orton is really in a sweet spot in his career and regardless of whether you love him or hate him, he can make a moment virtually at any time. Him coming out as Maddox opponent was pretty cool and it made sense that he squashed him.

-I hope they aren't done with Maddox and Shield attacking Orton gives me hope that they are not.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 13. Hey, WWE Universe, we REALLY want to know what you think this time!

-Everybody's pretty much decided for themselves that Ziggler's briefcase being up for grabs means he's losing. But if The Shield can keep Cena from beating Punk, it can keep Cena from beating Ziggler. I'm pretty sure Cena's out of the title picture until WrestleMania. So relax.

-Tag match turned into a four way is fine but this whole segment just seemed like a waste.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 14. Fatal four way, Part One

-So WWE goes with the ACTUAL result this time and puts Antonio Cesaro's U.S. Title on the line. Not sure what that says about the WWE Universe's opinion on the two secondary champions; if they're protecting Kofi's title or they just care more about Cesaro's.

-Good action in Part One of this match. I like the fact that Kofi & Truth are forced to wrestle each other.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 15. Fist-pumping like a champ

-After this match was over I had a flashback to the early 90s when Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Curt Hennig, Marty Jannetty, and Razor Ramon (Scott Hall) were battling over the Intercontinental title and their matches outshone anything that was going on with the WWF title. Just goes to show when you book a belt to matter, it fucking matters.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 16. Lie to me and tell me they didn't just do this.

-I actually don't have a problem not ending Raw with a match as long as whatever they do instead is compelling. But this segment almost felt like WWE just gave up knowing that viewership was going to drop off for the last hour.

-Ryback finally making an appearance was an excellent handling of his character. I actually think to this point, WWE has done a decent job with Ryback.

-The whole lie-detector test thing with Miz and Punk was just kind of meh. I blame Miz because he just did not come with anything strong to answer Punk's verbal barbs. And even though storyline-wise this all made sense, it's now been wasted on a match that isn't even going to happen.

Last Word: MINUS -

FINAL TALLY: 8 PLUS, 8 MINUS

Raw breaks even again. The show "felt" worse than what it actually was as a whole. And I'll explain that by addressing....

My chief points of praise:

+ Intermediate titles continuing to be booked strong.
+ Damien Sandow. You're welcome.

My chief complaints:

- The Miz. Ruining two segments in the same show? Really? Really?
- Three hours is still way too fucking long.
- Poor booking choices. I realize WHY they almost have to do things the way they do, but that doesn't mean I have to approve of it.

To elaborate on that final complaint, booking AJ vs. Tamina this early in their angle, Ziggler constantly getting pinned clean by Cena, The Shield, while used, coming across as almost an afterthought. We get it, they attack people; let them speak, let them do something meaningful. It's hard because if you use up their legs too soon, you have three guys left with nothing to do. So while taking a slower approach makes sense for the current format, it doesn't necessarily make for compelling TV.

That's the last word, except for this: apparently there's some confusion as to how to post comments. Below this paragraph and the blurb that follows you should see the words "No comments" or "Comments" with a number in front of it. Click on that and the option should pop up. I need your participation here, people. Come strong like the marks I know you all are. You have opinions now make them heard! In other words.......DISCUSS!

{"Handsome" Dan Lopez is a regular mention on his two favorite wrestling shows The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.}

Review In The Raw: 11-26-12, Shield Your Eyes

Did Raw build upon a mostly positive show last week? Let's find out...

Opening Narration.

-People can bust on WWE for ripping off TNA all they want, but the fact is, this is a good idea. Almost every other popular "weekly, episodic" tv show does a recap at the beginning of the show to bring viewers up to speed. It makes it feel more like a tv show and let's face it, that's what Raw is. I know purists like to entertain dreams of WWE returning to its roots and becoming a rasslin' show again, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. So, for the way WWE is trying to present their product, I think the opening narration is a smart move.

-Furtherance of the John Cena-Dolph Ziggler feud taking place on Smackdown this past Friday is alluded to. As an adult, I groan at this because I just don't care enough to watch every second of WWE programming. But as a kid, I was such a hopeless devotee, that I think I would have LOVED having this much wrestling to watch and would have kept up on it religiously. Still not sold on this approach by WWE. I think a less-is-more approach with a better overall product would result in a greater overall viewership, but I can't say that I don't see the logic in doing things this way either.

Segment 1. Ryback def. Titus O'Neil. Ryback refuses to leave the ring.


Old-school type match in which the singles star goes over the tag team specialist. I don't have a problem with it.

Titus is so horribly green it's disgusting. But he makes a strong showing.

-"Feed Me More" chant, and Ryback, really starting to get over.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 2. Ryback attacks security. Vicki gives him a TLC title match against Punk at next PPV. Hornswoggle, Rosa, ADR & Khali backstage.

-Nothing wrong with the Ryback-Vicki segment other than illogical booking. How does Vicki Guerrero have the authority to book pay-per-view title matches when she's just the Raw (whatever title they're using now)?

-The backstage segment with the also-rans was to set up for a match between Del Rio and Khali. This is the kind of thing that I can do without and lends credence to my argument that a three-hour Raw is just way too long.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 3. ADR def. Khali clean with Rosa watching backstage. Punk and Heyman confront Vicki backstage.

-Not sure where the Rosa, ADR angle is going to lead but again, this isn't the kind of thing that I think needed to be part of this show.

-The whole concept of a fan poll deciding Punk's opponent is another concept that old-school fans can't stand but it's actually a good idea. Whether or not it's legit is always going to be a question, but social media is more important right now than TV ratings and WWE is doing its best to stay at the head of the pack, even posting a graphic during the show of their "Social Media Ranking." Even if it is bogus, it keeps fans involved.

Think about how often you check Twitter or Facebook throughout the day. Not that a non-wrestling fan will suddenly watch wrestling because a related topic is trending, but if you can show investors and stockholders that millions of people on social media are talking about your product, that makes your product relevant and marketable to advertisers and sponsors. So criticize all you want, wrestling fans, it's smart business.

-All that being said, this segment really wasn't needed.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 4. Cole interviews Ambrose, Rollins and Reins. They call themselves The Shield.

-Not crazy about the name. But loving the gimmick and the concept behind it. Why? BECAUSE IS MAKES SENSE. We're always complaining that storylines don't make sense anymore, and with good reason. This one does. Ambrose has already confronted Mick Foley about something similar, the "purity" of wrestling. And their declaration of protecting what amounts to the "old-school" way of doing things is an extension of that.

-It is clear that Ambrose should be the leader of this group. He has a natural gift for speaking. I say, give them guns and make him The Joker! As a rogue group, they should be able to get away with pushing the envelope a little bit.

-I don't see them getting over as individuals with this angle unfortunately, but it's a nice way of making three guys the WWE Universe is probably not at all familiar with seem important right off the bat.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 5. Fandago vignette. Tamina def. Alicia Fox.

-Vignettes are such an effective way of debuting someone. It worked for Damien Sandow. Whether or not a dancing gimmick is the best way to go, I'm not exactly sure. It'll draw some heat initially which will be good for him and he can always change things later. I have no complaints.

-Tamina's outfit looked like she was trying to hide her period. And the match was terrible. Fans can't help but pop for the Superfly splash though.

-I don't have a problem with this segment because I realize the importance of furthering both characters, I just wish it had been a part of a two-hour show instead. The fact that I had to watch this on top of everything else just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 6. Another replay of Cena-Ziggler-AJ. Vicki gives Cena & AJ a "gift." More gross make-out stuff. Ziggler interrupts.

-Cena's involvment in this angle has made almost everyone else lose their appeal. Sure, AJ is adorable but her lack of chemistry with Cena just makes it feel like her presence is wasted. And Vicki always has heat but it looks like not even she believes in her "crusade" to expose Cena and AJ. Dolph so far, has been able to maintain some conviction but he started to lose it this week when he made the feud with Cena to suddenly be more about AJ than about furthering his career.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 7. Some football player gets a Spinner Belt. Wade Barrett on commentary while Kofi Kingston def. Tensai.

-Along with the constant reference to Vince and other Superstars visiting a U.S. miliatry aircraft carrier, the short video featuring the football player is just more intelligent PR by WWE.

-Wade Barrett is so good on the mic, I find it hard to believe that he won't be a top heel someday.

-Unfortunately, Kofi is over but Tensai made an excellent showing and could possibly build on this if they decide to use him in something worthwhile. I think he impressed the fans by kicking the crap out of Kofi.

-I really like the way the Intercontinental title is being showcased as something important.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 8. Daniel Bryan and Kane backstage. Kane revealed as winner of the fan poll.

-Bryan is still crazy over. This segment was funny. I just wish they could turn these segments into more success for these two wrestlers in the ring. I realize they're tag champs, but both of them ended up losing tonight in mediocre fashion.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 9. Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan, Part One.

-In case you didn't catch it on Monday, this is the FIRST TIME EVER these two have wrestled a singles match against each other. UGH! Overkill much?

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 10. Rey wins (of course). ADR, Ricardo & Rosa backstage.

-The match was decent by WWE standards, but when you realize how much more these two are capable of, it just fell a little flat. Bryan looked like he hadn't even broken a sweat when it was over. And why does the WWE Tag Champion who is over like mad have to fucking lose?! Just a disappointment on every level.

-Can't say much about the Del Rio, Rosa angle except that what I care most about is how it's going affect Ricardo and I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 11. Yet ANOTHER replay of AJ-Dolph-Cena. Ziggler vs. Cena, Part One.

-Cole almost reluctantly acknowledges Cena's "torn meniscus" as Cena runs full speed to the ring and then executes a leapfrog without favoring the limb at all. At least the jorts are gone.

-Dolph Ziggler may be the new Shawn Michaels. He just needs to develop HBK's refusal to do jobs.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 12. Ziggler can't even beat a hobbled Cena.

-When Cena suddenly aggrivates his "injury" hitting the ropes I groaned thinking Ziggler would win but only because Cena was hobbled. Not sure how I let that thought even enter my brain because of course, Cena can't lose no matter the odds or how hurt he may be. Silly me!

-I realize Cena's over. And despite the "Cena Sucks!" chants, the crowd popped huge when he won. But when Ziggler countered the AA by hitting the Zig Zag, I don't think Cena's reputation as a "Superman" would've been hindered at all had he just eaten the pin. It was a brilliant counter and Ziggler's best move, yet Cena still kicks out. Dolph, on the other hand, gets caught in an Attitude Adjustment, or in layman's terms, a fireman's carry takeover, and 1-2-3, the match is over! It just made Ziggler's winning streak disappear because no matter what kind of a roll he was on, he still can't beat even an injured John Cena, meaning he's not in the same class as The Rock or....well, gee, I guess that's it actually.

I understand that he's supposed to be this era's Hulk Hogan, but the way I look at it, you can give Cena marks in the Raw crowd the cheap pop, then give the Cena marks in the next crowd the cheap pop again by having him continue to go over every single time. OR, you can have Ziggler win the match, and show everyone that John Cena IS human, that he can lose, and help everyone get behind the illusion and suspend their disbelief and actually generate some interest in a future match between the two at say, TLC, when fans will actually have to PAY TO SEE IT. I don't know, it makes sense to me but when has that ever mattered to WWE when it comes to booking their Golden Nugget?

-Very good match. Fantastic showing by Ziggler. All spoiled by a cheap Cena win and Cena trying to swallow AJ's face afterward in a revolting display. Hopefully WWE has realized the utter lack of chemistry between these two and will put this angle out of its misery. This article by PWMania gives me some hope.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 13. Sheamus def. Antonio Cesaro by countout. A pay-per-view match worth caring about.

-What an excellent, physical match! It's just a shame that neither of these guys are as over as John Cena. The crowd was clearly more involved in the previous match. I think these two eventually won them over though with some hard-hitting action.

-The finish wasn't going to generate much of a pop, but it was the right call. Cesaro is too good to be jobbing to main event guys in non-title matches. And Sheamus needed another good showing but also needed to win. This way, both purposes are accomplished.

-I like the build for Big Show-Sheamus. Their match at Hell In A Cell was very good and this has turned into an old-school championship series that I actually wouldn't mind seeing through to its final resolution.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 14. Damien Sandow gets his token win over Zack Ryder. Josh Matthews interviews Paul Heyman outside CM Punk's dressing room.

-This is the point in the show when I start wishing it was still two hours.

-Sandow, whose recent stint as a tag team foil for Team Hell No I wasn't particularly fond of, is back to singles competition again which is great BUT...this Wednesday he's going up against The Golden Nugget on Main Event, John Cena. Now, why should ANYONE with ANY SENSE AT ALL think Sandow has a snowball's chance in Hell of actually winning? Honestly, they wouldn't! But that hardly matters. The Universe will tune in anyway just to see their "hero" make his monkey faces and resort to his standard "drop the town name to get the cheap pop" antics.

BUT...WWE has to at least make some kind of effort to make Sandow look like a threat. So of course, they give him a token win against a token jobber who used to be somebody once upon a time, Zack Ryder. I was surprised at the pop Ryder got when his entrance music hit. Maybe that's a sign that the character is not completely dead and could still enjoy a resurrection should the right opportunity present itself.

-As much as I understand the logic in booking this match, I don't think it accomplished the goal because Sandow barely beat Ryder, which if I were him, wouldn't exactly fill me with confidence in my chances of beating Cena.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 15. Shield interview replayed. CM Punk vs. Kane, Part One.

-Glad they replayed the Shield interview. It honestly felt like it had happened LAST week by this point in the show!

-Apparently, in some more investigative reporting done by PWMania, CM Punk wrestled the wrong opponent in this match. According to this article, Daniel Bryan actually won the fan poll.

My take is, it's wrestling. Who gives a shit if they fix the outcome of a poll?? The outcomes of the matches are fixed! But my question is WHY? What difference would it have made if Punk wrestled Bryan or Kane? Do they honestly think we are so stupid that we simply CANNOT BELIEVE that a man of average size like Bryan couldn't beat CM Punk? They obviously don't think we believe that Bryan can beat ANYBODY the way they have him lose EVERY. SINGLE. MATCH.

How hot would the crowd have been for an all-out war between Punk and Bryan? They could have played up Punk's "relief" at not having to face Kane. His smugness at feeling like Bryan would be an easy win. And you know the crowd would've been rabid in their support for Bryan beating the champ! So you have Bryan trap Punk in the "No Lock", the crowd's going crazy thinking Punk's about to tap, and Shield intervenes just like they did.

Not that the match with Kane was bad, but a Punk-Bryan match has the potential to be so much better and is the hotter ticket the way Bryan is over. Worst part is, you have the guy WHO THE FANS ACTUALLY WANTED TO SEE lose a meaningless match to Rey Mysterio!

It's as if WWE is going out of their way to make Daniel Bryan NOT MATTER. As I've said countless times, he's a survivor and he's make the best of it, but he's got to be fuming on the inside. I'm just a fan and this situation's got me pissed off. He deserves better than the treatment he's getting.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 16. Punk defeats Kane with the help of the Shield. Ryback to the rescue.


-As if Bryan's mistreatment wasn't bad enough, WWE rubs salt in the wound by sending him out to save his partner to yet another huge pop, only to get beaten down for his trouble.

-As much as I maligned the booking of the match, it was another step in the right direction for Shield. According to their interview, having the WWE Champion wrestle the winner of a fan poll would be considered an injustice, thus prompting them to get involved. Again, it makes sense. And they were able to get the best of Ryback yet again.

-Speaking of Ryback, this angle has been very good for him. The crowd knew who they wanted to see come out and save the day and it wasn't John Cena (Thank God!). And the pop when Ryback did appear on the scene proved it.

Last Word: PLUS +

Final Tally: 8 PLUS, 8 MINUS

So from a mostly positive show last week, to merely breaking even this week. A couple of side notes: no Randy Orton this week, and no Brian Maddox. Don't be surprised if that angle is just conveniently no longer mentioned. My chief points of praise are:

+ The Shield. Not just because I'm a big fan of stables. But I am a big fan of stables featuring talented workers that are booked well.

My chief complaints:

-Sorry Dolph, but AJ's not trash, your angle with her, Cena, and Vicki is trash!
-Although there was plenty of action, aside from Sheamus vs. Cesaro and Kofi vs. Tensai, it was pretty lackluster.
-Gross misuse of the talent, especially Ziggler and Daniel Bryan.

As optimistic as I was last week, I am equally trepidatious heading into the rest of this week. WWE hasn't completely fallen off the porch but Granny's rocking chair is getting awfully close to the edge. They don't need a major overhaul. Some things are still going in a positive direction. Just the way certain talents are being handled needs to be corrected immediately.

That's the last word for now, rejects. Time for you to put in YOUR two cents. Don't let my wealth of wisdom and disarming charisma rob you of your manhood (or womanhood for that matter). Speak your mind. Let's get a discussion going. And tell your friends to check out the blog and make their voices heard as well. Until next time....DISCUSS!

{Our beloved author is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling show, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.}

Reviewed Raw 11-19-12: CM for "Celebrate Me"

[Dicko Author's Note: I'm hoping to make this a recurring post in which I review WWE Monday Night Raw. But for now, just enjoy this one.]

Segment 1. Ryback's in-ring promo. Vicki Guerrero interrupts. Ryback def. Tensai.

A good showcase for Ryback who needs to continue to be booked strong.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 2. Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett, Part One.

The conspiracy to keep a belt on Kofi continues. Wade's post-Survivor Series promo was excellent. Spoke like he actually cares about the Intercontinental title.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 3. Barrett def. Kofi. Brad Maddox video package. Punk, Heyman & Stryker backstage.

I was surprised at how well Cole and Lawler sold for Barrett, even pointing out his strategy. Classic example of winning a crowd with wrestling. Match started slowly but with Barrett dominating in ruthless fashion. Then the fast-paced finish really got the crowd back into it. Crowd pops for a Barrett win. Excellent build to an eventual title match.

Don't know what the payoff is in the Maddox angle but the video package was well done.

Striker's pornstache nearly distracted from the entire backstage segment with Punk and Heyman.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 4. Kaitlyn def. Aksana.

These girls are both sloppy but the action came across as stiff. I was more impressed with Aksana's character. I have yet to be impressed with Kaitlyn. Not a terrible effort. At least it was mercifully short.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 5. Antonio Cesaro def. Brodus Clay. R-Truth on commentary. John Cena, Make-A-Wish video package.

I don't really care about Brodus Clay losing because I don't believe the character had any real longevity to begin with. He can still lose and be given the occasional push now and then. Cesaro on the other hand, has a very bright future. I think he has impressed crowds enough with in-ring performances like this one to be taken seriously and I like that they're taking the time to build toward something with R-Truth even though he sucked on commentary.

Although we're all tired of John Cena, this video piece was excellent PR for the company. More wrestling promotions, meaning TNA, could learn from this.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 6. Vicki, AJ & John Cena in-ring. Dolph Ziggler attacks Cena. Cena gets "injured."

Vicki still has legitimate heat. AJ still gets a big pop. That's what makes this situation eerily similar to the Cena-Zack Ryder-Eve Torres angle from a year ago. Ryder was the trendy Superstar who seemingly came out of nowhere and suddenly developed a cult following. Cena was out of the title picture at the time, so I guess it was easy to stick him in a program with a guy who was already over. That way the fans are guaranteed to be emotionally invested. Unfortunately it didn't work out to well for Ryder so I'm not terribly optimistic for AJ's future. She's a talented actress but not a great wrestler though so, the way I see it, she doesn't have much a future anyway. Hopefully Ziggler avoids any negative blowback from his involvement in this angle and ends up in perfect position for cashing in his MITB contract.

Basically, this angle shouldn't be happening. I think there are better ways of putting this talent to use rather than sacrificing them all on the altar of WWE's Golden Goose and Cena and AJ's make-out session was just gross.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 7. ADR vs. Randy Orton, Part One

Del Rio really needs a gimmick change. It's like he's doing "The Darn Amigos" and nobody cares. Randy Orton, on the other hand, has reached that point in his career where he is now a "Money Guy." You put his name on the card, I think fans are going to show up and go home happy to have seen him regardless of what else happened on the rest of the show.

BUT...the reason for that is because he's a winner. Sure, he may lose from time to time, but he's never gone on a real lengthy losing streak the way some other guys have, Ziggler most notably. So yes, he has the great look, the cool gimmick, the cool move, he's got decent charisma and is a pretty good worker, but most importantly, he has the respect of the fans. This is where WWE really needs to re-evaluate the handling of their talent and strongly consider bringing back squash matches even for top level talent and not just debuting monsters. And by squash matches, I mean against local talent or journeymen vets who are no longer worried about getting a push. If that did that, perhaps they might a few more "Money Guys."

I appreciated the psychology behind Del Rio getting DQ'd in the first fall.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 8. Orton def. Del Rio.

The crowd really came alive toward the end of this match and I attribute that to their respect for Orton and the excellent psychology employed throughout the match.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 9. Great Khali squashes Primo & Epico.

I don't understand this. At all. There seems to be some effort finally being put into rebuilding the tag team division and you sacrifice two very good workers to a sideshow freak? Khali may be an attraction in the carnival sense, but he's not a good worker the way Andre the Giant was. Andre knew psychology. Khali just knows how to be a big guy. Regardless of what their future plans are for everyone involved in this segment, this was an utter failure in every way.

Hornswoggle's involvement is just more dung heaped on the pile.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 10. The Miz def. David Otunga.

They're not a little late for a Miz face turn, they're a lot late. This turn should have come at WrestleMania. What has the Miz done since his involvement in that Team Laurenitis vs. Team Teddy Long fiasco? Provide horrible color commentary? The last eight months have been a waste of a solid talent.

That being said, I believe Miz will make a great face as long as he doesn't change his character and become a pandering John Cena clone.

This was a good showcase for both guys. I don't have a problem with Otunga losing to someone like Miz at this point in his career.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 11. Sheamus-Big Show, dueling microphones. Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow, Part One.

We're entering the third hour so every segment is going to have to really impress me because at this point I'd much rather be doing something else.

I don't understand why Sheamus is being such a whiny bitch. I felt like they finally "made" him at Hell In A Cell with his show-stealing performance against Big Show and now it's like the crowd is back to hating him. Griping to referees isn't helping, I'm sure.

The verbal sparring match between he and Show started out verrrrrry slowly but eventually got heated only then they kept stepping on each other. "You listen to me!" "No, YOU listen to ME!"

First part of the match was nothing spectacular.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 12. Sheamus def. Damien Sandow. AJ, Tamina & Vicki backstage.

Good showing for Sandow even though he lost. He controlled most of the match, just got careless and Sheamus was able to pull out a win. Sheamus fired up at the end but I think he could've done more with that comeback to really get the crowd on his side. They didn't pop like they did during Orton's comeback win. Perhaps they're couldn't get off their seats because all their asses and feet had fallen asleep after sitting for over two hours.

Sheamus has "Money Guy" potential but I'm afraid they're still just pushing him too hard and there's something about his character that comes across as unlikeable.

It's nice to see Tamina re-packaged. I think she's one of the better female wrestlers on the roster. This segment is penalized though by the fact that it's tied to John Cena.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 13. AJ, Layla walking backstage. AJ confronts Dolph then attacks him. Cena tries to rescue and gets beaten up.

Strong showing by Dolph but Cena's involvement just feels so contrived that the whole angle is falling flat for me.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 14. Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio vs. Team Hell No, Part One with Prime Time Players on commentary.

I'll bet Darren Young was wishing he had taken Monday night off the way Michael Cole was raking him over the coals! Titus O'Neil on the other hand, held his own on commentary. I was impressed.

This is a match-up of four "Money Guys." For all his botcharifficness, Sin Cara has been built up well since Day One and he wins consistently. Go figure. You book a wrestler as a force to be reckoned with and the fans actually take him seriously!

Can Daniel Bryan be any fucking hotter? He has really proven to be a survivor the way he has found something to keep himself relevant despite the company's best efforts to bury him and take everything away that got him over.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 15. Tag match, Part Two.

PTP get involved and one of the teams gets DQ'd as a result (can't remember which). Decent match. Nice way to bring some attention to the tag team division.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 16. CM Punk's celebration. Ryback interferes gets jumped again by Rollins, Ambrose and Reins.

The focus of this angle is the WWE title and I like that. Punk and Heyman had the crowd eating out of the palms of their hands. They're not trying to be liked. They're trying to be hated and so far, they're succeeding. Heyman even went so far as to turn the Attitude Era and ECW heel by current WWE Universe standards.

I think Punk was given a raw deal as a babyface champ. I think he could've been booked much better than he was. But I also feel like he's much more comfortable in this role.

Not sure where this is leading for Ryback's young attackers but even if they end up like the Nexus did, they could still bounce back from that the way Ryback, Barrett, Bryan, and Heath Slater all have.

Last Word: PLUS +

Final tally: 11 PLUS +, 5 MINUS -

Yes, I am regarding this as a MOSTLY GOOD episode of Raw. My chief points of praise are:

+ Plenty of in-ring action with good psychology for the three hours.
+ Handling of the secondary singles titles. Making them seem important.

My chief complaints would be:

- John Cena being shoehorned into an angle with AJ, Vicki, and now Dolph.
- Meaningless squash of a good tag team for the sake of a Khali push.

That's just for this show. My chief complaints about WWE's product as a whole are the fact that at the 2-hour mark I'm done. Three hours is just WAY too long for a wrestling show. Two matches featuring the secondary singles champions seemed a bit redundant. One of those matches could've easily been moved to next week. The Khali squash of course, was a waste of time. And honestly, I can do without this whole Cena-AJ angle. Just give Cena some time off for crying out loud! His elbow injury was the perfect excuse to just give him a break until the Royal Rumble. I realize he's the company cash cow but so many fans are tired of him that getting him off our TV for awhile might make those that do hate him, hate him a little less and appreciate him more when he does come back.

My other complaint is, there are still FIVE MORE SHOWS TO GO! If this were the only WWE show for the week, I would be looking forward to how they're going to follow it up. The talent was left, for the most part, in a good position to further storylines and characters. But now, who knows what will have happened by the time next Monday rolls around?! Who knows what wrestlers will have lost unnecessarily just for the sake of filling time?

Anyhow, I'm rambling. I wish I could've kept this review shorter, but it's a three hour show? What can I do?

The WWE is not in a bad place right now with the established talent working with a lot of new faces. The overexposure however, is continuing to squelch my enthusiasm and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I am looking forward to how things develop for next week though.

That's the last word for now, scrubs. Until next time, remember, you're feedback is important so leave a comment and tell your friends to check out the page and get involved as well. Now.....DISCUSS!

{Our intrepid author is a regular mention on his favorite wrestling show, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.}