WWE Suffering From Severe Memory Loss

As of WrestleMania XXIX, WWE featured a roster of 64 male workers. Subtract the 5 part-timers (Chris Jericho, The Rock, Triple H, Undertaker, and Brock Lesnar) and you're left with 59. Subtract the 2 non-wrestlers (Hornswoggle and Ricardo Rodriguez) and you're left with 57.

Of those 57 male wrestlers, 19 were involved in matches at WrestleMania XXIX. Add the 4 (Brodus Clay, Tensai, Cody Rhodes, and Damien Sandow)that were originally scheduled to have a match and that gives you 22.

So 22 of 57, or 38% of the current regular roster of male workers was doing anything noteworthy or of any interest at the time of WrestleMania XXIX.

[Author's Note: I'm using the WWF roster from the time of Survivor Series 1988 because that's when I was the most familiar with the entire depth of the roster]

By contrast, going into the 1988 Survivor Series event, of the 50 male workers on the regular roster, 28 were involved in some type of program, angle, or feud.

That's 28 of 50, or 56%.

Pretty significant difference, right? Even more so when you consider these numbers:

WWE currently offers 6.5 hours (7.5 if you count NXT; I'm not only because viewers have to pay for a subscription to Hulu Plus in order to watch it)of programming every week on free TV.

All current WWE tv shows feature original programming. Yes, there are replays galore from other shows, but they are built around original content: matches, promos, & backstage segments.

By contrast, the WWF in 1988 offered only 5 hours of programming every week on free TV.

The shows offered by the WWF in 1988 were made up mostly of matches and segments that were re-aired from other shows and very little original content to the point that I as a ten year-old fan didn't even watch All-American Wrestling or Wrestling Spotlight because I knew I wasn't going to see anything I hadn't already seen before.

Yet the WWF in 1988 was able to generate interest in a greater percentage of the regular roster of male workers than WWE has today despite more tv time and more original content. By a whopping 18%! How is that possible?

4 reasons. That we'll see as we examine the differences between the TV shows WWF offered in 1988 and those offered by WWE today:

1) They Utilized More of the Talent. Makes sense, right? You use more of your roster, fans care about more of your roster. In a regular WWF programming week, you were more likely to see Hercules or Koko B. Ware wrestle than Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant.

2) They Utilized Tag Teams. Bit players like The Barbarian, The Warlord, Barry Darsow (Smash of Demolition), Raymond Rougeau, and Jim Neidhart, guys who would never do anything particularly interesting in their singles careers, fans could appreciate and become invested in because they were part of an entertaining, competitive tag team division (More on that later).



3) They Utilzed Squash Matches. Wrestlers at every stage of their career, whether veterans whose best days were behind them like Harley Race, Ken Patera, Tito Santana, or Greg Valentine, as well as rising stars who had not yet peaked like Curt Hennig, The Blue Blazer, or Big Bossman, could always look impressive and maintain a certain amount of respect in the eyes of fans by mowing down local jobbers on TV week-in and week-out. Despite the match not being competitive, it still captured my imagination as a fan because it was a glimpse into the character's persona and moveset. Squash matches showed fans how good a WWF Superstar could be. And it would whet their anticipation for the big encounter between that Superstar and their arch-rival, or for the time when that Superstar moved up in competition. It would spark the imagination and get fans thinking up dream matches and wondering, "What would happen if Mr. Perfect met The Blue Blazer?" or, "I can't wait to see Demolition finally matched up against The Powers of Pain!" That's excitement. That's fan interest. And it was created by squash matches.

4) They Utilized a Good Mix. I'll admit, as much as I appreciated a good squash, it was also nice to see the occasional competitive match. And the WWF, at least in 1988, smartly balanced their programming by offering midcard, lower midcard, and tag team matches between members of the regular roster as either the "Feature Match" of their syndicated shows, or sprinkled throughout Prime Time Wrestling (my personal favorite). So you never went too long without seeing The Rockers vs. The Conquistadors, The Red Rooster vs. Ken Patera, or Curt Hennig vs. Jim Brunzell. They may not have been "dream matches" but they were more competitive than squash matches and highly entertaining. And you appreciated them as a "rare treat" because it wasn't something you saw all the time.

By contrast, in weekly WWE programming today:

1) They Utilize the Same Talent Over and Over. You could probably count on both hands the workers you see on WWE programming every week. If fans never see Alex Riley, Justin Gabriel, Ted DiBiase Jr., Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, Curt Hawkins, JTG, or Michael McGillicuty, how are they supposed to care about them?



2) They Under-utilize Tag Teams. The only real tag team WWE has is Team Hell No. Only recently have the teams of Rhodes Scholars and Brodus Clay & Tensai been taken seriously. Other recognize tag teams are either glorified jobbers getting squashed every week (The Prime Time Players and Primo & Epico), or are never seen (Jimmy & Jey Uso).

3) Superstars Get Squashed. WWE still utilizes squash matches. But now, it's the workers on the regular roster getting squashed by the upper card guys and losing all their credibility.

4) The Same Match-ups Occur Over and Over. Without jobbers to squash, mid and lower card guys have to do the job every week. This makes match-ups between members of the regular roster commonplace instead of a rare treat. Also, the upper card guys are on TV and wrestling each other every week making what should be marquee matches that generate lots of excitement and pay-per-view revenue, into everyday occurances that are regarded as no big deal.



WWE is making plenty of money. Because they have more to sell now than ever before. But television ratings indicate that the public's interest in their TV shows has waned. I realize ratings aren't as critical as they used to be. Vince is no longer selling his TV show. He's selling his brand. And now that WWE is the only game in town as far as wrestling goes, he's always going to have an audience.

But at what cost? There's an underlying tragedy in all of this and it's not just that the fans aren't being entertained as well as they could be.

Fans who grew up watching wrestling the same time I did have fond memories of the things they saw despite the fact that there were no part-timers. They didn't need big names from the past coming back just to get them to buy a pay-per-view. They cared about the current roster. They cared about the entire roster, from the midcard all the way down to glorified jobbers like Sam Houston, Koko B. Ware, and "Dangerous" Danny Davis.



And they cared about tag teams. This is where the tragedy really lies.

Are WWE and its fans really missing anything by not getting a greater percentage of the current roster more involved in meaningful storylines?

The answer is yes.

Consider, two men who would become the WWF's biggest stars, Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, were members of mid-level tag teams in 1988. Sure, the Hart Foundation had won the tag team titles by then but their reign was brief and unremarkable. There was no guarantee that they'd ever win the belts again. Sure no one suspected at that time what Bret would become.

Same with Shawn. The Rockers never won the tag titles. I'm sure some within the organization thought he had a singles future, but certainly not to the degree that he eventually achieved.

The point is, these men had the opportunity to show glimpses of what they could do because of tag teams. Fans had the opportunity to invest in them emotionally because of tag teams.

So when it was time for Bret to challenge Curt Hennig for the Intercontinental title, the fans were already behind him. When Shawn Michaels threw his longtime partner Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window, fans were in utter disbelief. These two guys were able to hit the ground running as singles performers thanks to the time they spent working in tag teams.



Imagine if both had worked strictly singles from the time they entered the WWF. It took Bret six years before he began a successful singles run. For Shawn it took four years. That's longer than the entire tenure of some midcarders. Perhaps they would've stuck. But what if they hadn't? There would be none of the accomplishments, the great matches, or the memories.

Who knows what accomplishments, what matches, what memories WWE and its fans could be experiencing right now or even five years from now but never will because of World Wrestling Entertainment's current disregard for tag team wrestling?

The cynic may say, "Ah, who cares about a Zack Ryder, or a Ted DiBiase, or a Michael McGillicuty? They aren't anything great." The same could've easily been said about a couple of guys in 1988. "Bret Hart? Yeah, he's good but he'll never be World Champion. He's just not charismatic enough." "Shawn Michaels? That long-haired pretty boy from that sissy tag team?" Yeah, that Shawn Michaels. Believe it or not, he's going to become the greatest wrestler of all-time. "No fucking way!"



What would you have said?

Who will take up the mantle of "the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be"? Who will be the next "Showstopper" or "Mr. WrestleMania"? Or is the question rather, "Who could it have been?"



Sadly, we may never know.

And that's the last word for now. Don't let the chance to make your mark pass you by. Leave a comment, then tell your friends to come check out what you had to say.

[You can read more of "Handsome" Dan's work on the Ring Wars Facebook Page. He also writes a weekly review of WWE Smackdown for Wrestling Rambles and is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks.]

Why WWE Isn't Going Anywhere

Checked out www.ewrestlingnews.com because apparently some of my fellow die-hards are heralding the demise of the WWE again!

Friends, let me break this down for you and, I would say "Put this to rest once and for all" but I know that's not realistic but since I've already said it, let's just leave it in.

World Wrestling Entertainment is not going anywhere anytime soon. So please, STOP with the prophecies of doom and gloom, hellfire and brimstone, Kane and Mankind, The Undertaker and Sable, DDP and Mae Young (I don't know what any of that means but I got on a roll and I couldn't help myself).

Just stop it, already. Click the above link and read the article for yourself. There are still over FOUR MILLION PEOPLE watching Monday Night Raw! That's not bad business.

How about this little statistic? For the first quater of 2012, World Wrestling Entertainment cleared over FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS net profit. That's just in the first quater! There's still THREE MORE TO GO! Their live events accounted for 61% of that income, or $75.7 million dollars in revenue. (Source: WWE's Coroporate website)

The numbers may not be what they once were. The enthusiasm may not be what it once was. But still, check out the crowd shots during any recent episode of Raw. They're still a sea of signs and people decked out in WWE apparel.

My point is, when people want wrestling, they still go to World Wrestling Entertainment FIRST. Why? Because of what Vincent Kennedy McMahon himself said:

"If you provide THE HIGHEST PRODUCTION LEVEL, the fans will find you AS LONG AS YOU ARE DISTRIBUTED WELL." (emphasis mine)

So there you have it. The reason WWE isn't going away is because of that right there. Pretty simple. The reason WCW was competition was ALSO because of that right there. It wasn't the product. It was the fact the product was:

A) On NATIONAL TELEVISION and,
B) It LOOKED GOOD.

Of course it didn't hurt that a bunch of old names were featured prominently. It gave fans who grew up on Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and Roddy Piper, something familiar to latch on to. But make no mistake about it, if ECW had done the New World Order, it would not, WOULD NOT, have gotten over like it did in WCW; even with Hall, Nash AND Hogan.

Why? Because Extreme Championship Wrestling did not offer THE HIGHEST PRODUCTION VALUE and IT WAS NOT DISTRIBUTED WELL. And yes, I'm going to keep repeating that so hopefully, the point gets driven home once and for fucking all.

Think about it. If ECW had done the New World Order storyline, it probably would have led to more people watching, which would have led to more money coming in, which would have led to higher production quality, which would have led to greater distribution, which would have led to ECW becoming a legitimate competitor to the WWE. But if you think you can put the cart before the horse and a killer angle is going to make some glorified indy fed a competitor overnight, you are dead fucking wrong!

I'm a die-hard. I'm going to LOOK for good wrestling. But not everyone is like me. Some people love WWE for what it is. WWE is NOT wrestling. I'll be the first to admit that. It's all about "the show." But when has that ever not been the case?

Fans like myself who remember how great the glory days of Hulkamania were and loathe the current dynasty of John Cena need to go back and watch some of those matches again. How many good matches did Hogan really have? Was his character really that much cooler than Cena's? Go back and read articles from the people who reported on wrestling during that time. They all despised Hogan. They all called Vince McMahon's WWF a "circus" meanwhile singing the praises of REAL wrestling promotions like the AWA, NWA, and World Class.

Are things really any different now? Nothing's changed. We all know when it comes to finding a great in-ring product, most of the time we need to look elsewhere other than under WWE's bright lights. Two guys may put on the occasional good match once in a while but it's a rarity.

Was it really any different when we were growing up? Granted, the talent pool was deeper and more workers in the midcard had road experience that made them better performers when they actually got TV time and there was usually more time devoted to the in-ring product BUT can we honestly say that the "good old days" (whatever that translates to for you) were really full of great wrestling in the "E"(or maybe in your case, the "F")?

So why the fuck did we watch it? We watched it for the same reason we watched WCW. Because it was easy to find and it looked good. You're either fucking fooling yourself or completely full of shit if you try to say you watched either because the product was just that good because I was there. I saw plenty of episodes of Prime Time Wrestling, or Saturday Night's Main Event, or Raw Is War, or Monday Nitro to be able to emphatically testify that there was SHIT APLENTY on those shows.

But I was a kid living in the Desert Southwest. ECW didn't reach me so I could give a fuck about them. I had nothing else but I didn't care. To me, WWF, then WCW, WAS wrestling. I knew there were other things out there and would have watched them but since it was too much trouble, I watched what I had and made the best of it.

Along the way, there was plenty of shit to complain about, but there was some good stuff too. It came in peaks and valleys. As a youngster, I loved anything WWF did during the mid to late 80s. But as a teenager, I thought it turned into shit. I couldn't stand the goofy stuff they did with the Ultimate Warrior, Undertaker, the Bushwackers, etc. so I just quit watching. During the Monday Night Wars it became cool again but then WWF amped up the raunchiness factor and that turned me off so I quit watching again.

But my tastes changed. Today I think I would enjoy the Attitude Era WWF, but would probably struggle to get into the 80's stuff I loved as a kid just like I struggle to get into what WWE is doing now. I look back on it fondly now but that's more due to nostalgia than the actual quality of the content.

My point is, WWF during that time wasn't hurting for viewers and it's not hurting now. Back then I would've been one of those kids in the crowd with posters or decked out in Bret Hart sunglasses or waving a yellow and red Hulkamania foam finger the same way kids today put on every color in the rainbow to celebrate John Cena or wave glowsticks to honor DX.

I didn't have what you'd call an "involved" father but I like to think that I am one and if my son were to fall in love with wrestling the way I did, that I'd take him to as many live events as I could and be right there alongside him cheering or booing and watching the shows despite how terrible I might think the skits or matches are or how nonsensical I find the booking.

Why? Because I'm a bad father doing his son a disservice by not exposing him to "REAL" wrestling? No, because I'm a good father who enjoys spending time with his son doing something with him that HE enjoys.

It's not my kid's fault that the WWE is so easy to find and looks so good. What kid wouldn't gravitate to that? And it's because of that, World Wrestling Entertainment is still going strong and will continue to do so. Because there's always going to be kids. And they're always going to love wrestling.

Yes, I'd love it if WWE would cater only to me and what I consider to be good. But they're not. Is that smart on their part? Probably. I think time has proven that kids are lot easier to entertain than adults. Kids present a lot more merchandising opportunities than adults. It appears to be the safer bet anyway. Perhaps they're missing out on greater money that could be made but what if they try to target a more mature fan base and the product just doesn't catch on? Seems to me if you're running a million-dollar company you're better of going where the sure money is more likely to be.

As a way of wrapping this up, I wanted to include a video of Jake "The Snake" Roberts discussing a program he was supposed to work with Hulk Hogan during the heyday of Hullkamania and why it didn't happen. Unfortunately, every version of it has been pulled by WWE. The gist is though that on an episode of The Snake Pit, Jake DDT'd Hogan to kick off their feud but instead of being booed by the crowd, many of the fans cheered Roberts and started chanting "D-D-T! D-D-T!" As a kid in the pre-internet age, I didn't know anything about this. But if this were to happen today, there'd be no way to hide it and all of us internet marks would be clamoring for a Jake Roberts babyface turn and the end of Hulkamania.

As cool as that sounds, it would have been financial suicide for the WWF at the time because as over as Jake was, his character just wasn't as marketable as Hogan's. So for all of us who today complain about John Cena and wish he would just retire, or even die in the case of more extreme fans, no one is going to replace him as the company's "Golden Goose" until someone comes along who is more marketable to their core audience than he is. And that's not a slap in the face to wrestling purists, that's just smart business.

Jake Roberts understood what it meant when the crowd cheered him and he wasn't happy. He didn't fill his head with grandiose ideas about becoming the "face of the company." In the video Jake himself called it "the wrong reaction" because he understands the business. The goal isn't to write a great story. It's to MAKE FUCKING MONEY.

The sooner we marks can get that through our heads, the fewer ulcers we'll have and blood pressure meds we'll have to take.

That's what you call "the defnitive work on the subject" my friends. And that's what I call the last word. Until next time.........discuss.



[Find more of your beloved author on SPINEBUSTER.com and on his favorite wrestling show, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast. Follow him on Twitter, @DAntonioLopez.]

Raw is....AJ?

There's been a lot of buzz in the Internet Wrestling Community (a designation that is about as annoying as "WWE Universe") about Impact Wrestling, TNA, SNM, STD, whatever. A lot of people making a case for why it's the best weekly wrestling show right now and that's fine.

But it got me thinking, "Is Raw really a good wrestling show?"

I don't know how regularly you watch it or why but I watch Raw every single week. Unfortunately I work nights so I can't watch it live but I would if I could. Instead I DVR it and watch it as soon as I can. Sometimes I don't get to it until Thursday but I don't go a week without watching.

Why? Because it's WWE. It's what I was raised on. It's what made me fall in love with wrestling in the first place. You don't just abandon something that you have that kind of history with.

Plus, WWE is still the "major leagues" of professional wrestling. If something really big is going to happen it's going to happen in WWE. The Rock and Brock Lesnar weren't going anywhere else and their involvement, regardless of how it played out or how it may play out, was compelling.

But Raw, which hasn't been my favorite show for awhile now, always seems to be the "go to" show for people like me. Diehard wrestling fans who were also brought up on WWE/WWF and just assume that nothing important is happening on Smackdown and it's not worth watching. I've actually enjoyed Smackdown a lot more than I have Raw for the past several weeks but that's another topic for another time.

What we're looking at now is the question of whether or not a basic episode of Raw can honestly be called a good wrestling show. So let's dissect yesterday's installment, shall we?

OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE REPLAYING WHAT BIG SHOW DID TO CENA LAST WEEK
- I like the way they've built Big Show up to this point. It's similar to how they put Mark Henry over strong and that was very compelling.
Last Word: PLUS

JOHN CENA, DANIEL BRYAN, CM PUNK, CHRIS JERICHO, KANE, BIG SHOW IN RING SEGMENT TO PROMOTE MONEY IN THE BANK.
-I actually like John Cena's invovlement in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. That concept got really boring and this was one of the few things that hadn't been done yet and at least for me, has breathed new life into the concept.
-Daniel Bryan, again, owned everyone else on the mic. He's a genuine old-school heel who is actually cutting wrestling promos as opposed to Cena and Punk who go out and just talk. There's a difference.
Last Word: I give this segment a PLUS. Daniel Bryan did a good job furthering his character and Big Show ended up looking strong. And CM Punk finally spoke up for himself as WWE Champion. Everybody's been laying claim to his title and he's said nothing. It was nice to see him finally put his foot down, even confronting the Almighty Cena.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS, DAVID OTUNGA & CODY RHODES vs. KOFI KINGSTON, R-TRUTH, CHRISTIAN & SANTINO
-First of all, who gives a fuck about any of these people? And it's always the same ones matched up all the time.
-The Prime Time Players are still realatively new and fresh but they showed how green they were in this terrible match.
-How many times is David Otunga going to job to the Cobra?
-I'm glad that there was some continuity with Brodus Clay and Otunga feuding but those matches are going to be awful anyway so unfortunately, there's no real payoff.
Last Word: MINUS

TEDDY LONG BACKSTAGE WITH ALBERTO DEL RIO
-I actually thought Teddy did a great job during his angle with John Laurenitis. Unfortuantely, that angle is over and he's gone back to the boring, outdated wanna-be pimp GM.
-Teddy thinking that Del Rio doesn't deserve a title shot after he beat the U.S. Champion and the Intercontinental Champion cleanly in the same week means he either doesn't watch the shows or he's an idiot. Saying it pops the "Universe" though because Del Rio's a "bad guy" so whatever.
Last Word: MINUS

ALBERTO DEL RIO NON-MATCH WITH SIN CARA
-I LOVE area-specific match-ups like this. Unfortunately, they didn't let them actually wrestle.
-Del Rio actually beating Sin Cara in a match would've been a better build for him.
Last Word: MINUS

AJ EATS FLOWERS
-The first appearance of AJ. It was in the perfect spot. She didn't open the show. She had more interaction with Daniel Bryan which is good for him. She kept up the crazy girl gimmick. Fine.
Last Word: PLUS

PAUL HEYMAN LOOKS LIKE SHIT VIA SATELLITE TOO
-How funny was his face when that asshole started messing with his tie??
-I love Paul Heyman but I'm starting to hate this angle because it appears to be building towards a HHH win at SummerSlam. I could be wrong and I hope I am. After all, I think nearly everyone expected John Cena to win at Mania so I could still end up being surprised.
-It would be great if this angle was allowed to play out and Heyman won his "lawsuit" against the WWE and became the "owner" and actually "ran" WWE for a little while.
Last Word: Although I've been enjoying the angle and Heyman's performances, I'm giving this segment a MINUS because they teased an answer all week and Heyman basically didn't say anything new.

DOLPH IS TO THE BROGUE KICK WHAT OTUNGA IS TO THE COBRA
-What the fuck does Dolph Ziggler have to be so confident about? How many times can you get beat and still come out yelling, "This is MY time!"
-That old Braveheart Sheamus once again kicks his much smaller opponent when he's not looking. What a champion we can all be proud of!
-Speaking of which, the World Heavyweight Championship belt is really starting to look a lot more prestigious than the WWE Championship belt. The "big gold" had been around so long and the way it had been booked it became sort of an afterthought but now with ADR and Ziggler chasing it and Sheamus being booked to look so strong that's flipped. Punk and his title have become secondary to the whole "crazy chick" angle and it's now HIS belt that's become an afterthought.
Last Word: MINUS

HEY PUNK, "WOT HOPPENED?"
-We get our third installment of AJ, this time backstage with the champ who is quickly becoming the Ricky Ricardo of Raw and AJ is Lucy, stealing every segment their in together and completely pushing him into the background.
Last Word: MINUS

DOINK GOES "DOINK" AND DDP KILLS ANDY GRIFFITH
-I honestly don't think anyone in that crowd knew who the clown was. For that matter, I don't know who the clown was! It could've been ANYBODY! He didn't do anything that was particular to the Doink character other than being dressed like him. I'd much rather preferred to see DDP wrestle.
-Speaking of the real "People's Champ" (sorry Rock, but until YOU leave through the crowd, DDP is ALWAYS going to hold that title in MY book!), I'd much rather have preferred had he come out to the "Self Hi-Five" Nirvana rip-off he used in WCW. It would've been better for Andy Griffith that's for sure. I had no idea the former Sheriff of Mayberry was a wrestling fan but hearing DDP rip off Earest T. Bass in his entrance theme was apparently too much for the eighty-six year-old Matlock to take.
Last Word: MINUS

KANE SAYS OTHERWISE, THEN GOES OUT AND DOES IT
-Wrestling Booking Rule #89: Jobbing out a credible opponent in five minutes doesn't make the winner of the match who you are trying to build look strong. It makes the loser of the match look weak. In other words, Kane vs Big Show equals EPIC FAIL.
Last Word: MINUS

AJ TAKES A NAP ON EVE'S BREAST
-This is where we cross the line into "AJ Overload" territory. Her segment with Bryan, her match, and her segment with Punk did enough to advance the character for one show. I get it. She's unstable. How about make the Kane-Big Show match a little longer instead?
-Also, she was practically eating Eve's boob! Not that there's anyting wrong with that, but if you're trying to get AJ over as the company's top hottie, putting her next to Eve is like putting your sister's cute friend next to the smoking hot teacher and telling you to pick one. It's really no contest.
Last Word: MINUS

YOSHI TATSU: "A SCHOOLBOY! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!"
-Yeah, apparently that's Tensai's weakness. Of course it would take bland-as-balls Tyson Kidd to discover this. Of all the young talent that could be getting pushed! The fans clearly did not care either, despite his best efforts to get them to grope him by standing on the ring barrier. He doesn't even have the cool haircut going for him anymore.
Last Word: MINUS

CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THOSE CHANTS! WHAT? OH, BROTHER!
-Punk telling Cena to follow his lead was cool but that didn't really play out in the match. I rip on Ring of Honor for lacking psychology in their matches but the truth is, most WWE matches are devoid of it as well. This match could've really done a lot to build toward the pay-per-veiw and a probable confrontation between Cena and Punk but instead, we get Cena going all Ultimate Warrior circa SummerSlam '91, and chasing the evil Chris Jericho all the way back to the dressing room.
-And just when you thought you might make it to the end of the show without her, here comes............AJ! And once again, she completely overshadows the men.
-Just as an aside, why the fuck does SHE get to revive the "Yes!" chant? Vince shits on Bryan for not having the "look" of a WWE Superstar but he's shit on the divas for years! And yet this girl gets five segments...FIVE SEGMENTS?! Trust me, I'm all about AJ. I think she's adorable and her character's great but...five segments??
Last Word: MINUS

So if you've already lost track (I know I have) here's the final score:
PLUSES: 3, MINUSES: 11

So is Raw a GOOD wrestling show? In a word, No, it's not.

Why do I waste time watching it? Honestly? I don't know. I like knowing what's going on first-hand, as oppposed to just reading spoilers and listening to what everyone else is saying, I guess. I still watch the Chargers play football and the Suns play basketball even though they disappoint me regularly.

Don't worry, this blog is not going to become some review site because I know there's already an assload of those but I really wanted to break down an episode of Raw just so I can draw a definite conclusion. It's easy to get caught up in the product as a whole and say it's bad without realizing why. So maybe you got a little perspective out of the deal. I know I did and so, I guess it was worth it.

The last word on this subject is, if you find yourself watching Raw and feel the sudden urge to punch your TV, don't be alarmed. There's nothing wrong with you. You're just watching a bad wrestling show.

I'm out peeps! Until next time......discuss!


[Look for our beloved author as a contributor on his favorite wrestling show The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and on SPINEBUSTER.com. Follow him on Twitter @DAntonioLopez]

Replayed Raw

[Maddening Author's Note: I wanted this to be my inaugural post for www.SPINEBUSTER.com but I'm having issues with my home internet connection ~ translation: I didn't pay my bill ~ So you're getting this post here instead. But if you would like to see more of me...NO, not naked pictures you freaks! But more of my ramblings and those of other talented people like me, check out www.SPINEBUSTER.com]

I had thoughts on this past week's Monday Night Raw but thanks to the problems explained above, I couldn't get around to putting those thoughts into typed form. Then I thought, Who the hell wants to read about a show that took place nearly a week ago?! But now that we're on the eve of the WWE's Over The Limit pay-per-view I realized, what better excuse to bring up old shit! But because I've had to wait so long, my brain is like a new mother's tit ready to burst all over your faces. So with that visual in mind, tilt your head back and open wide and let's get into it...

First of all, the title of this post. WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING REPLAYS?????? We got three replays...THREE REPLAYS, of what happened between Big Show and John Laurenitis on last week's show before the final resolution of Big Show getting fired. Raw is only two fucking hours long!!! And Big Show's segment didn't even come at the end of the show. So in less than two hours we had three fucking replays of something that happened just one week ago.

The only thing I can take away from this is that the WWE either thinks their viewing audience is made up entirely of goldfish, or they expect for viewers to leave the show and come back and that they need these multiple replays so that a) people who didn't catch the other replays will know what's going on, and b) people who didn't watch the segment from last week's show will know what's going on.

Given that viewers actually do leave and come back to Raw multiple times during the show, it makes sense to do this. But on the other hand, it's fucking annoying for those of us who actually watch every episode from start to finish. Imagine if other shows did this. Like if Law & Order replayed what happened in the first five minutes of the show two or three times throughout the rest of the episode. You'd never get through a fucking show!

Besides, I would think replaying the same segments over and over would be counterproductive to getting people to stay with the show. Aren't you enabling those viewers that do leave and come back with all these replays? Like you're telling them, "We know our show is boring so go ahead and watch something else for awhile; when you come back we'll let you know if you missed anything important." And in the process you're also punishing those who stay with it by subjecting them to that shit.

I actually thought some of the action on Raw was good this week. The opening tag match was decent. Big Show vs. Kane was actually a pretty good match. And Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho was excellent. It's just a shame that they they could've devoted even more time to these matches and the others that got whittled down to practically nothing if they would've just cut out all the fucking replays.

John Cena's Jim Carrey impersonation could've stood to lose some time as well. But I'd even be willing to live with that if we can just do away with the replays (which I bet you're getting tired of reading in this post, but now you know how I felt watching Raw). And from now on I guess Raw's going three hours so we get to be treated to even more of them!

In my last post ("It's Time For Raw...Do You Know Where You're Children Are?"), which if you haven't read, you need to, I talk about the things that appeal to the WWE's target audience. Replays was not among them.

Think about an episode of Prime Time Wrestling from the 80's. Like Raw, PTW was a two-hour show. It consisted mostly of never-before-televised matches from house shows and the occasional replay of a match that took place on Superstars or Saturday Night's Main Event. It would also replay whatever interview segment that took place that week to advance an important storyline like the Brother Love Show, the Barber Shop, or a "Mean" Gene interview segment, etc.

But the replays weren't happening over and over again throughout the show. You got them once and that's all you needed because 1) you most likely already saw what happened when it originally aired, and 2) you saw the first fucking replay so you didn't need another one.

The point needs to be driven home (I can't help how that sounds), WRESTLING is what's missing. Give me a match that I may not see ever again and I'm not going to change the channel. Give me a bunch of fucking replays of shit I've seen more than once already, why the hell shouldn't I find something else to watch?

So there you have it. My brain has been fully expressed and hopefully you got your fill. If you didn't, you can check out www.SPINEBUSTER.com and go drink up some ideas from other people who love wrestling and need their brains emptied. Either way, I feel better and that's the last word.

Until next time, bitches...discuss!

The "Ace" Up Vince's Sleeve

Just finished watching the 5/7 edition of WWE Monday Night Raw and even though it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to get up in about three hours I'm going to quickly run down my thoughts.

This episode of Raw was proof that conventional wisdom DOES NOT apply to professional wrestling, especially the WWE.

Conventional wisdom would dictate that selling a pay-per-view built around a match between John Cena and John Laurenitis is a bad idea. Nevertheless, that's exactly what the WWE is doing.

First, let's address why it's a bad idea:

Reason #1 - The fans hate John Cena. Do I really have to get into this? Just listen to the crowd response whenever he's announced. We hate him. For a myriad of reasons.

Reason #2 - John Laurenitis is a bitch. I'm not saying that because I don't like John Laurenitis. I actually enjoy the character. He's played his role well. BUT, he has also played the role of bitch to HHH, CM Punk, and most recently Brock Lesnar, the guy who John Cena just beat at the last pay-per-view. CM Punk even put him to sleep on an episode of Raw a few months ago. So why should I care to see John Laurenitis, the bitch, against ANYBODY much less John Cena, and even more less PAY TO SEE IT???

Reason #3 - The fact that both of these guys are in the main event means that more deserving workers on the roster will have to settle for the undercard which could turn fans against the product, particularly John Cena, even more.

This is conventional wisdom and it totally shits on the WWE logic.

HOWEVER, John Cena vs. John Laurenitis is EXACTLY what the WWE intends to sell you for the next three weeks and it is EXACTLY what they expect you to spend your hard-earned money on April 29th.

Why? Because Vince McMahon has an "Ace" up his sleeve.

That being Johnny Ace.

Over The Limit will sell in spite of itself because the WWE has done a good job building the character of John Laurenitis into a heel that everyone wants to see get what's coming to him. John Cena just happens to be the person the WWE has chosen to administer the beatdown.

Nevermind the fact that Laurenitis has screwed with plenty of other people who could've easily stepped up to do what John Cena is being given the chance to do. HHH and CM Punk most notably. Don't you think fans would've loved to have seen either of those guys take Johnny Ace down? Even PAID to see it?

Of course they would. That makes sense because it's Wrestling Booking 101. You introduce a heel and you slowly build him up into a dastardly scumbag who always gets away with his cowardly, self-serving schemes. Then when the time is right, you have the hero rise up and beat him. If done properly, the fans will be clamoring to see it.

So yes, there will be interest in this match, but it won't be because of John Cena, even though that's how the company will try to present it. The same way the interest in the main event at Extreme Rules had nothing to do with John Cena. The interest in that was generated by Brock Lesnar.

So yes, there will be interest but imagine if the protagonist in these main events was someone the fans actually cared about? Imagine if Brock Lesnar had returned the day after WrestleMania and challenged The Rock? Or if CM Punk had been the one to rid the WWE of John Laurenitis back in January when their feud was still hot? Or better yet, had their feud continued by tying it into the Punk/Jericho angle, which could actually still be going on if Laurenitis HAD been more involved.

But no, John Cena, Vince's Golden Boy, is going to once again be spoon-fed the best angle despite losing at WrestleMania and getting booed week-in and week-out. And despite the fact that throughout John Laurenitis' regime, the one babyface he's remained fair with, and even supported has been John Cena.

Imagine if we had gotten a John Cena heel turn at WrestleMania instead and he aligned himself with Laurenitis? Of course the fans would all turn on him at first, but ultimately, they would appreciate both Cena and the WWE for doing something that makes sense. Wrestling fans appreciate smart booking and good heels. We want you to embrace your role and play it well. The Miz might tell me to my face that I suck and I'll love him for it because he's a great heel and that's what heels are supposed to do.

Nobody likes an ass-kisser and that's exactly what John Cena is. He's a corporate ass-kissing heel who refuses to embrace his character, or rather, the WWE is refusing to acknowledge his character, therefore, I hate him. I don't love to hate him. I just hate him.

Speaking of aces, Vince brought out another one this week in Paul Heyman. I love Paul E. He's a great talker. He's going to be a terrific mouthpiece for Brock, but his being there on Raw would've been a whole lot more interesting had Brock Lesnar actually won at Extreme Rules.

This hotshot, good-enough-for-this-week style of booking the WWE is doing, bringing out these "surprises" every week is eerily reminiscent of WCW at the beginning of their decline. Sooner or later you run out of "aces" and your PRODUCT is all you have left. But by then fans have lost all faith in your product and regaining their trust and interest may be too slow of a process for your bottom line to recover. Just some food for thought.

Hey, remember David Otunga? Don't worry, pretty soon nobody will.

Speaking of representation, how about that promo that John Cena cut as CM Punk to begin the show? Seriously, why was Punk even out there? To promote John Cena apparently. Last I checked Punk, you're the WWE Champion and you're consistently being booked underneath Cena on the card. Seems to me like John Cena is the LAST person you should be speaking up for. He even admitted in his promo that his match would be on BEFORE the Cena-Laurenitits match!!!!! How about speaking up for YOURSELF? You did it once and it was the coolest thing that happened in wrestling in nearly a decade.

Imagine "Stone Cold" Steve Austin as the WWE Champion coming out and confronting Vince McMahon about a match that Vince was going to have with Mick Foley at an upcoming pay per view? And admitting that it would be the main event and that he would be watching after his undercard title defense was finished? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that probably would've cost ol' Stone Cold some cool points. Guess what is cost CM Punk. Yep!

The conspiracy to keep a title on Kofi Kingston continues. Not sure what this guy has on Vince McMahon, or Stephanie, or Hunter, but it must be pretty darn good. The dude can't go five months without a belt around his waist.

At this point in the blog, I'd like to have a moment of silence for the career of The Miz..................ok, we're done.

Seriously, his promo prior to his match with Brodus Clay was even better than Paul Heyman's spiel. He's such a great performer, not the best in the ring, but his character is everything a good heel should be, I wish he were still at the top of the card. Why he's being treated the way he is is among the many mysteries involving WWE booking.

Speaking of the Funkasaurus, his two lady friends got an awful lot of camera time this week. I'm sensing that they may be starting to overshadow ol' Brodus as the best part of the gimmick. And why not? They're amazing and we've pretty much seen all there is to see when it comes to what Funkasaurus is in the ring. Stay tuned to the blog and we'll let you know how that develops.

Fans can't help but pop for the Walls of Jericho. I give the guy credit. He didn't leave the WWE on the best of terms, jobbing to Evan Bourne. And he didn't come back with the greatest of gimmicks. But he's earned the respect of the fans once again. He stole the show and was the better wrestler at WrestleMania in my opinion so even though I haven't always been a fan of Jericho's I give him props for legitimizing his return.

I'm actually going to applaud a decision made by the WWE booking staff. I think it was wise to make the World Heavyweight Championship match at Over The Limit a Fatal Four-way. Mostly because I don't think anyone could care less about Sheamus vs. Albert Del Rio. Sheamus has really struggled to pick up steam since his title win, mostly because of the bogus circumstances of the match at WrestleMania. The company's attempts to legitimize his title reign since then, having him beat Daniel Bryan cleanly over and over again, still haven't won anybody over.

I'm calling it now, Chris Jericho gets the loudest response from the crowd in that match. He won't win, but he'll win over the fans with his ring work.

The last thing you need to know about Raw is that the Main Event started at the 1:59 mark.

Actually, that's not the last thing. The last thing you need to know is, Daniel Bryan couldn't even score the win over CM Punk in a Handicap Match. I swear it honestly feels like they DON'T want me to order the pay-per-view. And it's working because I won't be.

That's all I've got for now people. Until next time, discuss!