Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Drawing The Right Conclusions

I've written on this subject before but what bears "peating" bears repeating. (Check out my previous post "Why WWE Isn't Going Anywhere")

Two things provoked me to spend time on this subject again:

1) Members of the Internet Wrestling Community (a term which if you are familiar with me at all, you know I despise) once again proclaiming the imminent demise of World Wrestling Entertainment thanks to low television ratings, pay-per-view buyrates, and poor arena attendance.

2) This video of a shoot interview with Bobby Heenan that I watched a few days ago.

Before we really get the discussion rolling, here are a couple of references that I encourage you to check out either before, during, or after our little discussion as a way to help us all maintain the proper perspective:

- Raw ratings from September 1995 to June 2010

- Revenue reports for 2012 from WWE's Corporate website

Not going to spend a lot of time trying to convince you that WWE is NOT the Titanic sinking fast. I don't think I can put together a more comprehensive argument for that than the one I've already presented in my previous post linked above.

But what I would like to spend time on is what "The Brain" had to say in his shoot interview.

From the reference links above TWO things can be positively determined:

1) Television ratings for Monday Night Raw, currently parked in the 2.7 - 3.0 range, are as low as they were in the company's "darkest days" just prior to the Attitude Era (1995-1997), when they were on the verge of "financial peril" according to Vince McMahon's own testimony.


2) World Wrestling Entertainment is not anywhere close to "financial peril" today. They are consistently turning over a handsome profit in spite of waning interest in the current product.

With these two things in mind, I want to refer to the Bobby Heenan interview where "Brain" emphasizes over and over again the importance of being able to "draw money." For example, after singing the Dynamite Kid's praises as an athlete and a wrestler, the host asks if Dynamite is "the greatest wrestler of all-time." To which Heenan responds, "The greatest of all-time is the guy who draws the most money."

This is just one example. He gives several and it really helped me get a grip on the whole "mark" controversy.

Wrestling fans usually don't mind being called "marks" but I'm afraid few of us understand what it really means. What wrestling do not like is being called "mark" in a dismissive way.

But if the truth be told, if we all had a better understanding of what a "mark" is, we'd have to admit that sometimes, more often than not, we're all a bunch a fucking marks and deserve the type of treatment we get.

I'm not saying "all the time" but most of the time, we wrestling fans draw inaccurate conclusions about how the wrestling business works.

Read that again. The wrestling BUSINESS. And just like any BUSINESS, the one and only, end-all, be-all purpose is to DRAW MONEY.

We all know part of Bobby Heenan's schtick as a legendary heel manager was his "hatred" for Hulk Hogan. Yet during his shoot interview, Bobby goes out of his way to defend Hogan against his detractors.

Why? Because Hulk Hogan DRAWS MONEY.


I applied this logic to myself in this way: once upon a time, I had dreams of becoming a professional wrestler but life, as it sometimes does, got in the way. I had responsibilities that put that dream on permanent hold status.

However, if I had attended a wrestling school at that time (we're talking 1999 or so; shortly after I graduated high school) my goal would probably have been to be the best professional wrestler I could become.

But according to Bobby Heenan, a legend with decades of experience in the business, what is the criteria for being considered the greatest of all-time? DRAWING MONEY.

That's the difference. A mark like me thinks, "I have to be THE BEST" without even realizing what it means to be THE BEST in professional wrestling.

Being THE BEST means DRAWING THE MOST MONEY. That's it. It's literally that simple.

This is why wrestlers develop a certain disdain for fans, or marks. Because a mark will come up to them and say some stupid shit like "You can't wrestle" or "So-and-so is way better than you" without realizing how stupid something like that sounds.

If "So-and-so" is having great matches all across the country, but in high school gymnasiums in front of twenty people, it doesn't matter how fucking "good" he is. The musclebound clod who can barley chain two moves together is the better wrestler because he's the one that's DRAWING MONEY.


Get it now?

I know, I know, it's hard to free ourselves from the mindset of what we see in the ring and how entertaining it is and using that as our basis for comparison. But it's the difference between being a fan, and someone who is involved in the business.

And it's the difference between being dismissed as a mark, and being able to intelligently discuss someone's profession with them.

I'm not saying what takes place in the ring doesn't matter. Of course it does. But that isn't the measuring stick for those involved in the business. Those involved in the business realize that the measuring stick is what perpetuates the business and having a great match isn't it.

What perpetuates the business is DRAWING MONEY.

This is why we see things on our TV that sometimes we don't understand as fans. And it's why we sometimes don't see the things that we would like to see. The people in charge are only interested in DRAWING MONEY and using personnel in the best way to optimize their ability to DRAW MONEY.

In the post linked at the beginning ("Why WWE Isn't Going Anywhere") I mentioned a program that Hulk Hogan was supposed to work in the 80's with Jake "The Snake" Roberts during the height of Hulkamania when Jake was still a heel. The angle was supposed to kick off during Roberts' interview segment The Snake Pit, where he was going to DDT Hogan on the concrete floor.


When Jake did this however, instead of the crowd booing him out of the building for beating up their hero, they cheered. In Jake's own words, this was "the wrong reaction." According to him, when he got backstage, even Vince McMahon said "you've got rotten luck!"

Why? Because as the heel, Jake's desire was to DRAW MONEY by working with the babyface in shows all across the country. Well, if fans were going to be divided when they worked together and CHEER FOR THE HEEL, the angle wasn't going to work and it wasn't going to DRAW MONEY.

Now, a mark might say, "A babyface Jake Roberts versus a heel Hulk Hogan in the 80s would've been AWESOME!" A mark has the luxury to think that way. But the business owner, the bookers, the people in charge have to think about the Big Picture and keep their eye on the goal which is, to DRAW MONEY.

I know I keep beating that horse into the ground, but the point needs to be made. Perhaps ignorance truly is bliss and I'd be better off screaming my head off like any other mark and losing myself in the illusion. But I actually don't have a problem doing that even with a better understanding of the business. I prefer to be informed. I prefer to sound intelligent when I speak about the things I'm passionate about, like wrestling.

Fans of movies, even obsessed fans, like those who love the Twilight series, are not as bad as wrestling marks. They don't call Taylor Lautner "Jacob" when they meet him or suggest that his brothers are better at "morphing" than he is. How ridiculous would that be? How might Taylor Lautner respond to such outright lunacy?

Yet we wrestling marks insist that the PERFORMERS that we watch week-in and week-out humor us when he say shit like, "Chris Benoit deserved to be champion way more than you did" or "Dude, you should've won that last match!" Honestly, no wonder they try to avoid us. That would get old real fast!

Wrestling IS unique in the sense that you watch the PERFORMERS put on their SHOW right in front of you. And many times, they'll interact with you IN CHARACTER during the PERFORMANCE (all this emphasis is deliberate, by the way). So it is easy to lose yourself in the illusion probably more so than any other form of entertainment, which is I love it and believe wrestling to be the single greatest form of entertainment in the world. The fact that there are so many marks in the world is proof of how this industry has excelled at what they do.

I would rather go to a wrestling event than to a "real" sporting event. I would rather go to a wrestling show than a Broadway show. I would rather go to a wrestling show than go the movies. Wrestling, when done right, is the end-all, be-all of entertainment in my opinion.


But we have to realize that these men and women are simply PLAYING A ROLE. And once the performance is over, they're real people with real names, families, hobbies, interests, etc. I'm sure just like any performer they appreciate fans who love their performance. But when the line between PERFORMANCE ART and REALITY become blurred that's when things get creepy.

Can a wrestling fan express an opinion about what he believes will DRAW MONEY? I think so, obviously. I do it here every week. But I've increasingly tried to keep my opinions out of the realm of a blind mark's rantings and instead, take the approach of someone whose goal is to perpetuate the product by DRAWING MONEY.

So go ahead, you marks, book your own shows, speculate, rant and rave about the things you hate and the things you'd like to see! No harm in that. But do yourself a favor and at least try to sound intelligent. Try to understand how the business works if you're going to comment on it. We'll never understand it fully as fans because we're not in it. But we can all make an honest effort.

For example, just to apply all this wisdom to the current WWE product, I think they've done a good job recently of booking their top talent like Ryback, and some of the midcard talent like Damien Sandow and Antonio Cesaro. But I do think they haven't done as well with the divas' division or their tag teams. I believe there is money to be made there and they are doing themselves, the performers, and the business a disservice by not focusing more on these areas and booking a better product. That's not a blind mark's ramblings. That's looking at it realistically from the standpoint of what's best for business and DRAWING MONEY.

Would I like to see WWE throw caution to the wind and book whatever would be "cool?" Sure I would. But I understand that it's important to keep someone like John Cena on top. He DRAWS MONEY. Maybe not the bucketfuls that others have drawn in the past. But he provides a steady source of income and I can see how a business owner, would be hesitant to risk that by changing his character.


That doesn't mean I don't think there are better ways to use John Cena and still DRAW MONEY. I certainly believe that there are. So I'll rant about that. That's not being a mark. That's just being a fan.

So to tie all this together, how has this knowledge changed me? Am I still The Smartest Man Not Currently Involved In Wrestling (trademark, Sonnnnnnnn!)? Of course!

I've been changed in this sense, were I to enter a wrestling school today with visions of fulfilling my dream, my goal would still be the same. I would still want to become the greatest wrestler I could be, but instead of asking my instructors to "teach me to be a great wrestler," I would ask them "teach me how to draw money."

That's the secret to success in professional wrestling. For some, it's having great matches. For others, it's finding the right gimmick. For others still, it's a combination of the two, or something entirely different altogether. But the goal remains the same.

So quit making yourself look stupid. Be a mark, but know what the fuck you're talking about. And that'll help you draw the right conclusions.

That's the last word for now, phreaks and phalluses. Until next time, and I mean this...........DISCUSS!!!!!!!!

[The Smartest Man Not Currently Involved In Wrestling is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.]

No comments:

Post a Comment