Replayed Raw

[Maddening Author's Note: I wanted this to be my inaugural post for www.SPINEBUSTER.com but I'm having issues with my home internet connection ~ translation: I didn't pay my bill ~ So you're getting this post here instead. But if you would like to see more of me...NO, not naked pictures you freaks! But more of my ramblings and those of other talented people like me, check out www.SPINEBUSTER.com]

I had thoughts on this past week's Monday Night Raw but thanks to the problems explained above, I couldn't get around to putting those thoughts into typed form. Then I thought, Who the hell wants to read about a show that took place nearly a week ago?! But now that we're on the eve of the WWE's Over The Limit pay-per-view I realized, what better excuse to bring up old shit! But because I've had to wait so long, my brain is like a new mother's tit ready to burst all over your faces. So with that visual in mind, tilt your head back and open wide and let's get into it...

First of all, the title of this post. WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING REPLAYS?????? We got three replays...THREE REPLAYS, of what happened between Big Show and John Laurenitis on last week's show before the final resolution of Big Show getting fired. Raw is only two fucking hours long!!! And Big Show's segment didn't even come at the end of the show. So in less than two hours we had three fucking replays of something that happened just one week ago.

The only thing I can take away from this is that the WWE either thinks their viewing audience is made up entirely of goldfish, or they expect for viewers to leave the show and come back and that they need these multiple replays so that a) people who didn't catch the other replays will know what's going on, and b) people who didn't watch the segment from last week's show will know what's going on.

Given that viewers actually do leave and come back to Raw multiple times during the show, it makes sense to do this. But on the other hand, it's fucking annoying for those of us who actually watch every episode from start to finish. Imagine if other shows did this. Like if Law & Order replayed what happened in the first five minutes of the show two or three times throughout the rest of the episode. You'd never get through a fucking show!

Besides, I would think replaying the same segments over and over would be counterproductive to getting people to stay with the show. Aren't you enabling those viewers that do leave and come back with all these replays? Like you're telling them, "We know our show is boring so go ahead and watch something else for awhile; when you come back we'll let you know if you missed anything important." And in the process you're also punishing those who stay with it by subjecting them to that shit.

I actually thought some of the action on Raw was good this week. The opening tag match was decent. Big Show vs. Kane was actually a pretty good match. And Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho was excellent. It's just a shame that they they could've devoted even more time to these matches and the others that got whittled down to practically nothing if they would've just cut out all the fucking replays.

John Cena's Jim Carrey impersonation could've stood to lose some time as well. But I'd even be willing to live with that if we can just do away with the replays (which I bet you're getting tired of reading in this post, but now you know how I felt watching Raw). And from now on I guess Raw's going three hours so we get to be treated to even more of them!

In my last post ("It's Time For Raw...Do You Know Where You're Children Are?"), which if you haven't read, you need to, I talk about the things that appeal to the WWE's target audience. Replays was not among them.

Think about an episode of Prime Time Wrestling from the 80's. Like Raw, PTW was a two-hour show. It consisted mostly of never-before-televised matches from house shows and the occasional replay of a match that took place on Superstars or Saturday Night's Main Event. It would also replay whatever interview segment that took place that week to advance an important storyline like the Brother Love Show, the Barber Shop, or a "Mean" Gene interview segment, etc.

But the replays weren't happening over and over again throughout the show. You got them once and that's all you needed because 1) you most likely already saw what happened when it originally aired, and 2) you saw the first fucking replay so you didn't need another one.

The point needs to be driven home (I can't help how that sounds), WRESTLING is what's missing. Give me a match that I may not see ever again and I'm not going to change the channel. Give me a bunch of fucking replays of shit I've seen more than once already, why the hell shouldn't I find something else to watch?

So there you have it. My brain has been fully expressed and hopefully you got your fill. If you didn't, you can check out www.SPINEBUSTER.com and go drink up some ideas from other people who love wrestling and need their brains emptied. Either way, I feel better and that's the last word.

Until next time, bitches...discuss!