[Douchey Author's Note: I don't watch Raw live because it's THREE FUCKING HOURS and I just don't have THREE FUCKING HOURS to sit in front of my TV and watch a wrestling show that I know I'm going to mostly hate; consequently, I'm still catching up. So I have yet to watch Raw from last Monday, September 27th therefore, this review pertains to what transpired on Raw from a few weeks prior, that being August 20th. Just play along and I think we'll be alright.]
Anybody else catch the "ENTERTAINMENT" graphic that flashed across the screen followed by the WWE logo after Raw went off the air?
The first part of it appears at the tail-end of this video.
I bring it up because it's going to be important for you to keep that in the back of your mind while you read this review. I'll explain how it relates to everything else I'm about to say when we get to my Last Word.
But first things first. To say that wrestling fans complain a lot is like saying the Kardashian girls might have had multiple sex partners. It's a bit of an understatement. Now I'll be the first one to stand up and proclaim my rights as a paying fan to voice my displeasure as often and as loudly as I see necessary.
However, because we do it so often, the act of complaining can turn into a REFLEX rather than a REACTION, and we can find ourselves complaining about EVERYTHING. Even when WWE does the things that we say we want them to do.
Let's go through the August 20th edition of Raw and pick out some examples and see if I'm not on to something here....
When Brock Lesnar came back we were all upset because we felt like they threw him into the mix too quickly with Cena only to have him lose to Cena in their very first match.
HOWEVER...he has become the most intimidating motherfucker on the entire roster thanks to his manhandling of Shawn Michaels, his victory over Triple H, the addition of Paul Heyman as his mouthpiece, and even his constant "quitting" adds to his persona of being "bigger than WWE."
Speaking of Brock, has anyone noticed that he's only wrestled TWICE in five months since returning to the company? Another of our chief complaints is that the talent is overexposed. We all thought this was going to get worse when Raw went to three hours every week.
HOWEVER...not only has WWE managed to keep Brock out of the ring, but on this edition of Raw, neither of the top champions wrestled, meaning World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus and WWE Champion CM Punk. And neither did John Cena.
Now I'm not saying that they couldn't afford to spread out the in-ring appearances of these guys even more, but you would expect, especially in a three-hour show, that at least one of them would have to end up in a match of some kind. But the point is, they didn't.
Speaking of matches, there were eight, count 'em, EIGHT matches on the August 20th edition of Raw. Now, before you start using "fuzzy math" (Come back, W!) and try to argue that every match should've been at least twenty minutes if it's a three hour show, let me give you some more realistic numbers...
Any hour-long program you watch on TV, you're only going to get about 30-40 minutes of actual show and about 20-30 minutes of commercials. So to be fair to Raw, every hour the show is on, we're probably only getting about 30-40 minutes of actual show. If we're generous and say it's 40 minutes for every hour, that gives us 120 minutes of actual show time. If every segment was devoted entirely to the matches, that would mean each match would have to last approximately 15 minutes from beginning to end, including intros, aftermath, etc.
Now, I'm sure there are some purists out there that would love that. I for one, wouldn't mind seeing a little more WRESTLING in my WRESTLING shows. However, I understand that some time has to be devoted to other things too. You're going to have backstage segments, in-ring segments, replays, etc. That's all part of wrestling. So as much as I would love to see longer matches, my point is, if it's more wrestling I want, I can't honestly say that WWE isn't making an effort in that regard, especially when you consider how much show time you're actually getting.
Speaking of all the extra-curriculars like backstage segments and in-ring promos, Raw General Manager AJ Lee, while not nearly as cute fully-clothed, hasn't lot much of her appeal as far as I can see. Her involvement in the WWE Title picture with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan got to be too much for my liking, to the point where I felt like she was overshadowing the championship and two of the company's best workers.
In her new role however, she gets plenty of screen time (good), wrestles less (good), and gets to continue to expand her "crazy chick" persona (good) while not being married (that was intentional) to any one worker or angle. Fact is, her character is good. Really good. And she plays it so well that she's going to overshadow anyone she's involved with.
So as much as we might hate to admit it, putting her in the General Manger role was the best thing that WWE could have done for her. Tying her to any one worker would have most likely resulted in the death of her character because she's not good enough to headline shows as a wrestler and the crazy chick who was just another worker on the roster had already hit its ceiling with Punk, Bryan and Kane.
So yeah, I'd much rather see the half-naked pixie wrapping her legs around guys and making love to their faces but I'm sure when the occasion calls for it, that version of AJ will make her reappearance. At least she's still relevant and in a position to be used that way and not completely forgotten.
Speaking of AJ as Raw GM, the "decisions" she made during this particualr episode were about as good as anyone could have asked for, in my opinion. The Randy Orton return was exciting. I'm a little tired of him, like everybody else, but in a wrestling landscape that offers so few surprises thanks to internet spoilers, it was a good moment.
The Kane/Ryder vs. Bryan/Miz match, while doing a horrible disservice to Ryder and Miz, was a nod to continuity which so many of us complain, is lacking in today's product. The fact that these wrestlers all had history with each other was played up for that match to the point where you couldn't overlook it or forget about it, as is usually the case.
Speaking of Bryan and Kane, even though I'm not a fan of the way WWE has treated Bryan like a second-rate star because of his lack of size, thanks to the whole "Yes vs. No" thing, the anger storyline, his history with AJ, and the quality matches he's had with Kane, who is still a major company player, he is in a position now that I don't think any internet mark could have projected for him just one year ago.
Speaking of Kane, he's in a similar position to Orton, a veteran who seems to be hanging on too long. However, if it weren't for his chemistry with the Big Red Monster, Daniel Bryan might have been forgotten by now. Our biggest complaint about these veterans overstaying their welcome is when they refuse to put new guys over on their way out. That can hardly be said about Kane who seems to be doing his best to "make" Daniel Bryan in thier angle.
The proof? No one else is getting entire vignettes and backstage segments devoted to him like Bryan is and even though we all know he is a much more capable wrestler than he is being allowed to show, I'd rather he be involved and over as a heel, than losing to the Funkasaurus and buried at the bottom of the midcard.
Speaking of the Funkasaurus, I thought the gimmick had run it's course. And it may still have. But, whatever life is left in it, I'm glad it's being sacrificed on the altar of Damien Sandow. Another of our many complaints is that the WWE isn't making any new stars. Like I said, not sure how much further Brodus Clay can climb, but the sky's the limit for Sandow as far as I'm concerned. Their "mini-feud" is a throwback to the late eighties when midcarders like Bret Hart and Bad News Brown, or Hercules and the Ultimate Warrior, young up-and-coming talents would engage in a similar feud, with the more impressive of the two moving up, and the "loser" staying put until he has proven himself ready to advance to the "next level."
A similar scenario has developed between Ryback and Jinder Mahal. Both guys clearly have potential and their present conflict is a great tool for revealing which one is ready to take that proverbial next step.
Speaking of potential, David Otunga, who I'd really grown to appreciate as a lackey to John Laurenitis, not only held his own with AJ backstage but immediately gets a match upon his return to TV. He also explained what he'd been up to in his absence. Not that filming a movie with Halle Berry is as big a deal as it used to be but still, nice to see a talented guy making some progress in the world of entertainment and still being allowed to get right back into the ring upon his return.
Speaking of Otunga getting back in the ring, while some might complain about him getting squashed, he was squashed by Big Show. Big Show has always been a source of frustration for me because he hasn't always been booked as the intimidating physical force that he is. I realize this is wrestling and sometimes the storyline calls for the giant to take a fall.
What I'm not going to complain about is when a giant finally gets booked as a giant. I said earlier that Brock Lesnar is the most intimidating guy on the roster right now. Well Number "One B" would be Big Show. People should be scared to get in the ring with him and right now, that's how he's being booked. That's booking that makes sense. Again, one of those things we all clamor for.
Speaking of which, one thing that so many people have been clamoring for that was actually mentioned during the show, is CM Punk to be involved in the main event as the WWE Champion instead of constantly taking a backseat to John Cena. It seems that this real internet situation is actually being brought to the forefront, not just in any angle, but in the biggest angle in the company right now. You'd think this would make us all happy, right? FINALLY, WWE is listening to the Internet Wrestling Community.
You'd be surprised, or maybe you wouldn't, to know that some people actually liked the pandering corporate suck-up that CM Punk had become as the babyface champion and maligned this heel turn.
And that, dear friends, leads me to my point behind running down virtually the entire show, which I don't usually do and despise in reviews as a general rule. But I felt it was necessary to prove my point: most of the complaining that people do with regard to the current WWE product seems like a REFLEX more than a REACTION.
You ask them, "How was Raw?" And instead of a realistic answer, you get the usual, "Ah, more of the same old shit. WWE sucks right now so of course it was terrible!"
But just look at how many POSITIVE things I mentioned about this one episode of Raw. Yet you can't get these haters to even mention ONE.
Another thing you can't get them to do is tell you the last time they actually liked EVERYTHING WWE Creative was doing. They all use phrases like "FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS NOW the WWE has gotten worse and worse." Care to ascribe a NUMBER to those "past few years?"
Or they'll say, "The creative team, Vince and Linda McMahon, continue to just make the WWE look more and more terrible AS THE YEARS GO ON." A time frame, a date, something! I'm beggin' ya!
They won't do it. Know why? Because they've NEVER liked everything WWE Creative has done. There's always SOMETHING to complain about and therefore the product is "terrible." "Oh, if only we were still in the ATTITUDE ERA!" I wish I could borrow Doc Brown's DeLorean, kidnap one of these motherfuckers, and take them back to their beloved Attitude Era so they can hear just how much they were complaining even back then!
Bottom line is, you're memories are liars. You think back fondly to your childhood or your teenage years when you weren't so smart (I use that term very, very loosely) and you could watch wrestling just for the fun of it and you think everything they did back then was good. I dare you to go watch some of that shit again. Go watch a random episode of WCW Nitro or an Attitude Era Raw then come tell me how great it was.
Or you really want to see some shit, how about you go back even further and watch an episode of Prime Time Wrestling or Saturday Night's Main Event. Or how about an old WWF pay-per-view?
Am I saying EVERYTHING from "back in the day" sucked? Of course not. Anymore than I'm saying that everything WWE is doing now is good. I'm just saying, let's quit kicking our legs at EVERYTHING WWE is doing now and pissing on the entire product and let's start making realistic assesments of what we're watching.
Because what we're watching (you were supposed to remember something, remember?) is ENTERTAINMENT. It is not, is not, is not WRESTLING. Forget about belts and their legacy or importance. Forget about "midcard" or "main event". Forget about who "deserves" to be a "top star". Because it's TV SHOW. They don't talk like that. They haven't for YEARS. It's time we all caught up.
As usual, I've got a lot more I could say, but for now, that's the Last Word. Until next time, marks......DISCUSS!!!!
["Handsome" Dan Lopez is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling show, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast which you can download for free on iTunes. Follow him on Twitter, @DAntonioLopez.}
No comments:
Post a Comment