A more appropriate title might have been Dead Before It Hit The Ground, because that essentially describes Ring of Honor's internet Pay-Per-View feed.
I had planned on doing a full show review but since I missed THE ENTIRE FIRST HALF, you're getting a half-assed one instead. (Half-assed as far as content is concerned, not quality. Trust me, it'll be good.)
As usual, with my ROH reviews, we'll start with the main event because unlike Ring of Honor, I'm not here to waste your time and maybe that's all you're really interested in. So here goes...
KEVIN STEEN def. RHINO (ROH World Title)
This match-up was the real draw for me and reason I even ordered the pay-per-view. So I guess in that sense, I got my money's worth because this was a very good match.
Before the bell, Jim Cornette made an appearance and announced that he was making it a No-Disqualification match, which allowed for an extra level of violence and helped the overall match quality because as a result, we got a nice table spot with Rhino flying over the top rope and through Steen who was positioned on a table outside the ring (Sick!), as well as plenty of chair shots and outside interference.
Needless to say, it was a pretty wild match but the wrestlers both did a good job of selling which added just the right amount of drama (something which, if you frequent this blog page regularly, you'd know I've been critical of Ring of Honor contests for lacking).
The best part was the finish because it was believable. Too often in ROH, a wrestler will kick out of pin attempts following some of the most outrageous moves, then get beat with a pedestrian finisher, like Steen's F-Sync (still going strong as Wrestling's Most Poorly Named Finisher), which is basically Brock Lesnar's F5. I'm not even a fan of this move when Brock does it, but if you want to make it a devastating move because it looks unique, fine.
In a match like this though, a simple "F-Sync" should NOT have gotten the job done. Steen hit it at one point but thankfully, Rhino kicked out of the pin attempt. It was the F-Sync that ultimately won the match for Steen, but it came after Rhino missed a Gore, causing him to smash through another table. Perfectly acceptable finish in this author's all-knowing opininon.
The match was certainly worth any wrestling's fans time, but not necessarily worth fifteen dollars (the cost to stream the iPPV). I mean, Rhino put on an equally good match for free on ROH's TV show just a couple of weeks ago against Eddie Edwards.
There was some stuff in the aftermath in which Michael Elgin came out and attempted to power bomb Steen as a set-up for their title match at the next iPPV, but he was accidentally thwarted by his stablemate Roderick Strong. This lead to Elgin power bombing Strong and essentially ending their "partnership." This is fine because it's what the fans who regularly watch ROH and are privy to the build-up have been waiting for, but it felt like it was wasted by just being thrown in to the end of this World title match that didn't involve either guy.
I've said before that the build-up for the Elgin-Strong rivalry has been one of the best things that ROH has been doing lately and I've been waiting for the kettle to boil over so to speak because you knew it had to happen sooner or later and both guys had been playing their roles well. It would've been nice had it happened during a match that these guys were actually involved where the attention of the crowd was completely focused on them. Besides, Strong's slight seemed minor compared to more blatant things he's done to Elgin in the past for Elgin to suddenly snap now.
My last word on this segment is, solid match with lots of fun spots, and decent lead-in to the next show's main event. Question is, how many potential purchasers will think twice about ordering for fear of encountering the same issues with the streaming?
STEVE CORINO & JIMMY JACOBS def RHETT TITUS & CHARLIE HAAS (Finals of the ROH Tag Team Title tournament)
I would've liked to have seen the two semi-final matches that I assume took place earlier in the card. But it hardly matters because this match was the shits. It literally felt like the crowd was asleep, they were so devoid of any noise whatsoever.
It's understandable. These aren't necessarily high spot teams and that seems to be what ROH's fanbase is used to. I appreciated the unique dynamice of seeing Haas go up against Corino and Jacobs because they're all heels. As interesting as that was however, it couldn't make up for a boring, predictable match.
Jacbos pins Titus after Haas' usual tag team partner, Shelton Benjamin, lays him out with his finisher, Pay Dirt. I'm sure there's some storyline reason that Titus was teaming with Haas in the first place but, what the fuck did he expect??
My last word on this segment is, boring match with a bittersweet payoff. Jacobs & Corino winning the tag belts, along with Steen as World Champion, strengthens their stable's "influence" within the company which could lead to something promising, but all we get out of Titus and Haas teaming together is their already boring feud being perpetuated.
ADAM COLE def. MIKE MONDO (ROH Television Title)
At the start of the match, Mondo gets Cole to agree to a "No Fear" match, which apparently means no time limit and no rules. Fine.
That being the case, Mondo, as the challenger, should've been completely ruthless and relentless. He wasn't. The match ended with Mondo twice pausing instead of stomping Cole in the head, so he could attempt a top rope stomp. Stomp him twice, then go to the top rope, ya asshole! You want to win the fucking title, don't you?!
Long story short, Mondo misses the top rope stomp, which aggravates his wounded knee (see what I did there?), leaving him vulnerable to the champion's Figure Four Leglock. Mondo taps, Cole retains his title.
Apparently another provision of a "No Fear" match is also no game plan because Mondo seemed completely clueless as to how to go about winning a title. For instance, if you're opponent has been working your leg over, do you really want to be attempting a top rope stomp?
Matt Hardy made his ROH debut on commentary and sucked a bag of dicks. Not the best way to bring him in. He was terrible. He confronted Cole after the match, which again, is a nice lead-in but you just got the feeling they could've done so much more with it.
My last word on this segment is, despite the solid action, Mondo's stupidity caused the overall match quality to suffer. Why? Because it made Cole's win almost seem elementary. That being said, much love for the TV Champ finishing people with the oldest of old-school submission holds. Too many great wrestling maneuvers have lost their luster over the years. Nice to see one of them making a comeback.
MICHAEL ELGIN & RODERICK STRONG def. JAKE & DAVE CRIST
The point behind this match was to sell the dissension existing between Elgin and Strong as well as give Elgin some nice power spots.
My problem with it? They just did this for free on their TV show a couple of weeks ago. Why ask fans to pay to see it now? At least have the blow-up that we've been waiting for between these two take place at the end of this match. That would've been a nice way to cap it off.
My last word regarding this segment is, total waste of time. Who gives a shit if the Crists are good workers? They're nobody to me, and I want to pay to watch them wrestle?? Give me somebody I care about instead.
And sadly, that's where the review ends because I was forced to join it "in progress" after waiting NINETY MINUTES for Ring of Honor's pay-per-view stream to work. I would like to have heard what Davey Richards had to say in his return address to the crowd. I also would like to have seen the ROH debut of ACH against one of my favorites, Kyle O'Reilly. Instead, I had to spend my time drafting an email asking ROH for a full refund (which I fully intend to receive because I'll be ding-danged if they're going to be counting MY money!)
I had actually given up on the show until one of my good pals with The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast (my favorite wrestling show by the way), Shining Wizard Matt, practically begged me to give it another chance. He found a creative way to spend his time waiting for the stream to work as well. He wrote his own blog about wrestling promotions and all the ups and downs they encounter with iPPV technology, which you can read by clicking here.
Have to give a shout out to another of my favorites, Tommaso Ciampa, who is currently sidelined with an injury, for providing some comic relief during the lack of a broadcast with some of the things he was posting on his Twitter account as he too, was also in the dark like the rest of us.
My last word about this show is, it's a badly dropped ball and a damn shame. Like I've said before, I want companies like Ring of Honor to succeed, but if they can't provide better than this(better matches, better storylines, better technology), why should I waste my time and money? I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that way. I may give it another try, but they may have lost some potential fans for good.
And that's the last word, ya freaks. Until next time.....discuss!
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