All The Rage

If you're a regular reader, you know I have a tendency to defend World Wrestling Entertainment's methods as reasonable based on the fact that they are in the BUSINESS of MAKING MONEY through ENTERTAINMENT.

However, I want to make it clear that while I understand why WWE does things the way they do, I believer that there are indeed BETTER WAYS to accomplish the same goal of MAKING MONEY.

That paragraph is going to be the most important one in this entire post so if you're going to get halfway through this and forget what I just said, you might as well stop reading now. It is important that you understand that I am not simply a MARK who thinks WWE should book their product based on whatever I or anyone else thinks would be "cool." I realize the goal in all of this is to MAKE MONEY. I'm not suggesting otherwise. However, what I am about to suggest is that perhaps actually booking what fans like myself think would be "cool" might just be the BEST way to do that.

Clearly, WWE is trying to find their next "Next Big Thing." You can't say they haven't turned over their share of rocks looking for it. They're tweeting and touting and tubing right along with the rest of society. They're making movies and having movie stars as guest hosts. They're even giving one a title shot! They're boasting more original programming on tv now than they ever have before.

And yet, you listen to the people who used to come out in droves to sit and cheer as teens and young adults during the "Attitude Era" or stayed up late to watch Saturday Night's Main Event as kids, people like myself, and the consensus seems to be, the mainstream product has lost its appeal.

I'm not saying the current product doesn't still have an audience. There are over four million people watching Raw every week. Four million. And here I have the audacity to suggest that they could do better??

You betcha.

WWE has always had this audience. These are the lemmings who are simply out to have a good time at the Vince McMahon's dog and pony show. If that's you, no offense but you're probably not reading this anyway. But these are the rank-and-file members of the "WWE Universe" who are essentially marks that root for the "good guys" and boo the "bad guys." If you've ever had a conversation with one of these people you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Not that they don't have their place in society. The product needs people like them because they're always going to be there no matter what. I think the closest WWE ever got to alienating this particular type of fan was during the aforementioned "Attitude Era" when the raunch factor really got turned up and families with young kids began to turn away.

I believe that was bad business then and I believe it's bad business now. Wrestling doesn't need to be raunchy to be good. Not that it can't be. The occasional character who swears and flips people off, when done at the right time and for the right reason, can become a real money maker (i.e. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin). But that doesn't need to be, nor should it be, the norm.

So what should be the norm on a professional wrestling show? Brace yourselves. How about wrestling?

For all the tv time WWE is currently filling, there's an awful lot of filler and not nearly as much wrestling as there could be.

Before you try and come at me with statistics that suggest most of the actual show time is wrestling, understand that such statistics can be misleading, especially when you realize that the average match time is about five minutes (see PWInsider's "By The Numbers").

Now that we've gotten all the potential arguments out of the way, let's look at how I believe WWE could improve their bottom line by answering three simple questions: WHY, WHEN, and WHO?

WHY should WWE make wrestling more of a focal point?

In a recent Facebook conversation I had, someone made a point that WWE's most prosperous eras were defined by the appetites of their audience. During the Hulkamania days, larger-than-life action heroes like Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Van Damme were the rage. Then, in the Attitude Era, society in general had developed its own attitude and tv had become edgier across the board. Whether by accident, or by having their finger on the pulse, WWE was able to capitalize on these societal trends.

A "trend" of similar lucrativeness has yet to be identified in today's society. For all the widespread influence of social media, an effective way to make money with things like Facebook and Twitter, has yet to be found.

But there is a less obvious trend developing in the world of independent wrestling. The indys are making a quiet but steady resurgence with groups like Beyond Wrestling making an impact via YouTube, and Pro Wrestling Syndicate using Twitter and stacked lineups for their regular house shows featuring a touch of nostalgia with names of the past as well as thrilling action provided by a fresh crop of young talent. Longer-tenured groups like Ring of Honor, CHIKARA, Dragon Gate USA and Evolve, Combat Zone Wrestling, and East Coast Wrestling Association are still going strong. And upstarts paying homage to the glory days of Extreme Championship Wrestling, Shane Douglas' Extreme Reunion and Tommy Dreamer's House of Hardcore have quickly garnered a significant following.

The point is, despite what seems like an oversaturation of independent wrestling promotions, interest in hasn't waned. It has in fact, grown. Which can only mean one thing: people want to watch wrestling, and are willing to pay money to do so.

That's why WWE exists, isn't it? Is the goal not to make money? Does the second "W" not still stand for Wrestling?

The fact is, fans of professional wrestling, even those who have given up on the current mainstream product, still consider WWE to be the premier wrestling company. They would love to go to WWE for their fix, but they know they're more likely to walk away frustrated rather than fulfilled because of how little actual wrestling they're going to be fed.

So they choose to do something else with their time rather than tune in when WWE is on television. They chose to stay home when a WWE house show comes to town. They're not opening their wallets when WWE is on pay-per-view.

But these same people, these WRESTLING FANS, are spending money on DVDs, tickets, even merchandise, for often more than one of the independent wrestling promotions I've listed above.

That's money WWE isn't making. Seems to me, someone has lost sight of the goal. It's not like I'm asking a movie studio to go after those dollars. Or a ballet troupe. I'm talking about a fucking wrestling company providing what wrestling fans are ALREADY PAYING FOR!

And that is WHY WWE can improve their bottom line by making wrestling more of a focal point. Next question.

WHEN should WWE make wrestling more of a focal point?

How about during their eight and half hours of programming they're running every week? Not that wrestling isn't taking place on these shows (and I'll admit, not so much a problem on Main Event and NXT from what I understand; I'll confess, I rarely watch those shows because I just ain't got that kind of time. WWE better count themselves lucky if they get three hours out of me for Raw!). It's just the quality of wrestling that they're offering.

Even the most jaded fan will have to admit that the action, when it's there, is as good, if not better, than it's ever been. Athletes today, not hindered by a lack of athleticism as well as steroid and drug abuse, are able to perform at a significantly higher level than our heroes of the past.

But when the booking is illogical, or just plain stupid, it cancels out the athleticism that we fans might normally marvel at. Blame Super Cena kicking out of everything short of a ground zero nuclear detonation, and one and a half minute matches featuring "champions" for the current disdain among wrestling fans for WWE's in-ring "action."

So rather than try to cram seven matches onto an hour and half show (Raw's approximate running time minus commercials) to the point that five of them end up timing out at five minutes or less, how about instead, give us three or four matches that are booked logically and given enough time to tell a complete story. I realize this isn't true of every fan, but there are still plenty of paying customers out there who are still willing, yay eager, to sit through an intelligently-crafted wrestling match, appreciate it, applaud it, and fork out money to see it again.

And that is WHEN WWE should make wrestling more of a focal point. Final question.

WHO should WWE use to make wrestling more of a focal point?

How about the talented individuals ALREADY ON THE ROSTER?

Since the same people are being used in every main event on every fucking show, the rest of the roster is forced to accept whatever crumbs are left over. These crumbs manifest themselves in the form of those detestable one and a half minute matches mentioned earlier.

The extent of what someone like Daniel Bryan can do inside a wrestling ring, cannot be expressed in one and a half minutes. With the exception of Khali and Hornswoggle, who no one wants to see anyway, there isn't a Superstar on WWE's roster than can exhaust their repertoire in one and a half minutes.

So since we're now cutting down on the number of matches per show, how about we also cut down on the number of appearances by the same people per show, per week?

Here's how it SHOULD work: if I've seen Damien Sandow on Raw that week, I shouldn't see him on Main Event that week. Nor should I see him on Superstars, Smackdown, or Slam. I shouldn't even see him on NXT.

Why? Because when I do, that means I'm most likely going to see him winning and losing matches arbitrarily, and I'm going to start not caring about Damien Sandow.

*******Break out your calculators, boys and girls, because it's time for Fun With Numbers! YAY!!!******

There are currently 64 male wrestlers and 10 female wrestlers who are part of WWE's regular roster. If WWE's weekly programming (all of it; not just Raw and Smackdown) were to feature nothing but in-ring wrestling and each match was to average approximately ten minutes bell-to-bell not including intros, that would amount to approximately 25 matches per week. If those were all singles matches, even using different wrestlers in every match, that would still leave over a dozen members of the regular roster without a match for that week.

The point is, there are more than enough bodies to put in the ring. PUT THEM IN THE FUCKING RING!!! Cycling through the talent would keep appearances by the top talent to a minimum, saving their bodies some wear and tear, and making the times that they do appear more significant. And it would also give the midcard and lower-level guys much needed exposure and experience. "Mini-feuds" between lower-level wrestlers have traditionally always been a great way to build a following for those performers.

Say WWE considers CM Punk, John Cena, The Rock, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, and Ryback their main eventers. Fine, feature them in the main events of the weekly shows but only once per week. So in other words, if the main event of Raw is John Cena vs. ADR, the main event of Smackdown can't be a tag match featuring ADR or John Cena.

Instead, how about someone like R-Truth working a midcard program with 3MB? Or the tag team of Santino and Zack Ryder (back when they were still a thing) working a program with Rhodes Scholars? Wrestling fans remember good matches. Put those four guys in the ring and give them some time and fans are going to be talking about the match. Fans talking creates buzz, and buzz results in more people tuning in, which results in more people ordering pay-per-views, buying tickets, buying merch, etc., etc., and yeah I know, I'm sick of me always being right too!

And THAT, my friends, is WHO WWE should use to make wrestling the focal point.

So while WWE is wasting their time trying to answer the question of "What's the next big thing that's going to be all the rage?" I've answered the much more important questions. The questions that matter.

WWE need look no further than the wrestling fans to find "all the rage." But the "rage" is in their hearts, built up over years of frustration with the mainstream product. If WWE will just take the time to look, they won't find some hot new social trend. What they'll find is the same thing that's been there all along. The same thing that has worked before and will always work. Satisfy the WHY, WHEN, and WHO that the people want. The people want WRESTLING.

And whether World Wrestling Entertainment likes it or not, THAT is the Last Word. Until next time, ya freaks.............DISCUSS!

[Our intrepid author, "Handsome" Dan Lopez, is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.]

The Color of Money

Alright, we all know who this guy is, don't we?

Now I realize he doesn't wear green all the time, but this ghastly atrocity is actually still very popular among kids in attendance at WWE shows. Not only does it make you as a little kid easier to see amongst thousands of people, but it also leaves no doubt as to with whom your allegiance lies. You are a card-carrying member of the Cenation.

And if you'll grant me a little creative license, allow me to make this connection: Cena wears the GREEN because GREEN is the color of MONEY. And when it comes to World Wrestling Entertainment, CENA EQUALS MONEY.

Now you're all going to stand up and shout about how Cena isn't nearly the draw that Hulk Hogan was, or that he's not nearly the draw that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was, or that he's not nearly the draw that The Rock was, and that is all true. So pat yourselves on the back, Barry Horowitz, you win that argument.

But that's not the issue. The issue is NOT how much money has Cena ever made for WWE. The issue IS does Cena make money for WWE RIGHT NOW.

The answer is, Yes.

This isn't your dad's WWWF. This isn't even your WWF. This is your kid's WWE. Get it through your heads, people. Those are THREE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT COMPANIES. What worked for the World Wide Wrestling Federation would not have worked for the World Wrestling Federation. And what worked for the World Wrestling Federation WILL NOT WORK for today's World Wrestling Entertainment.

Okay, I may be stretching things just a bit because I personally believe that some of the tested and proven methods of making money that worked for the WWF, and even the WWWF, would actually work for WWE, but it doesn't matter what I think. And it doesn't matter what you think.

What matters is what the shareholders and board of directors think.

World Wrestling Entertainment is a publicly-traded company. It isn't Vince McMahon's rasslin' promotion anymore. It's PG because it HAS to be PG. It isn't because anyone on the planet believes that the best form of wrestling entertainment is created under the PG banner. Anyone who has watched the Rock during his comeback both this year and last year knows that a little edgier is better.

But with CREATIVITY comes RISK.

Ask anyone who has ever had an idea. When you attempt to make your IDEA into a REALITY, you run the RISK of it not being accepted. Not a big deal if all your doing is say, writing a blog on a free blog-posting website. The risk is virtually non-existent.

But when you run a million-dollar company, every single idea that comes out of your creative meetings with the company's stamp of approval, carries with it a MILLION-DOLLAR RISK. All it takes is ONE bad angle, ONE bad promo, ONE bad idea, to cost the company THOUSANDS, if not MILLIONS of dollars.

And forget the fans. I'm not talking about the fans' dollars. Fans are extremely forgiving. Because they're fans. How much garbage have we sat through in our twenty or thirty something years as wrestling fans and yet where are we on Monday nights? In front of TVs watching Raw. Despite ranting and raving all week long about how terrible the product is, we remain loyal and hopeful because we're fans. That's our nature.

But sponsors and advertisers don't have to be fans. And THAT, my friends, is where World Wrestling Entertainment's bread gets buttered.

If you want to read the company's spiel, you can check out this article printed by the Miami Herald last summer.

I'm not going to pretend to understand all the verbiage, but here's the gist of it: if I'm Vince McMahon, here's how I think: "It's not what we DO, it's who we ARE. We are WWE. Consumers (not fans) RECOGNIZE OUR BRAND so they come to us. Just like they recognize Coke or Pepsi. As long as we always LOOK THE WAY WWE IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK, we will always keep consumers coming back.

"Therefore, we're not selling ourselves to the consumers; we're selling ourselves to SHAREHOLDERS, SPONSORS, and ADVERTISERS. And sharholders, sponsors, and advertisers want TWO THINGS: a SAFE INVESTMENT, and BRAND STRENGTH. If we get too CREATIVE, we RISK becoming an UNSAFE INVESTMENT. And that cannot happen.

"Therefore, if we can find something that works within the boundaries of a SAFE INVESTMENT, we will ride that gravy train as long as we can."

And that's where THIS guy comes in...

Look at him. More importantly, look at those troops. They don't care that he dresses like a 12-year old boy. They don't care that he wrestles like one. All they know is, he's a good guy who supports them and is the face of THEIR FAVORITE WRESTLING BRAND, WWE.

Anybody think Zack Ryder could fill that role? How about Daniel Bryan? CM Punk? R-Truth and Little Jimmy? What about The Miz? Could they do it as well as John Cena?

Answer? "OH, HELL NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Now you know why it's John Cena and NOT those guys. That's why it will be John Cena as long as he's capable of functioning inside a wrestling ring. Because he does this WITHOUT BEING CREATIVE. We've all seen John Cena at the top of his game. We know he has it within himself to be entertaining and come with edgier stuff. But that means RISK. And WWE is not going to risk losing shareholders, sponsors, or advertisers.

They've clearly lost fans. Just look at the ratings for Raw. They're nowhere near where they were in the days of Stone Cold and the Rock. But they haven't lost ENOUGH fans and they NEVER WILL because they know it's not just John Cena, it's THE BRAND. It's WWE.

What SHOULD have happened when the World Wrestling Federation became WWE, fans should've abandoned ship the way they did when New Coke came out.

But we didn't. Because even though it didn't TASTE like the WWF, it still LOOKED like the WWF so we stayed. Not all of us, but enough of us did.

And so, instead of scrapping WWE, and going back to what worked, they found a way to make money with New Coke. And the rest is history.

So why did I bother going to such lengths to essentially justify what Vince McMahon and WWE is doing? Am I happy with the current product? HELL to the NO!! But as the Smartest Man Not In Professional Wrestling, it is my obligation to understand the current wrestling landscape. And what I've just laid out for you so eloquently IS the current wrestling landscape as it pertains to World Wrestling Entertainment. No one else is going to break it down any simpler.

So what should YOUR response be to what I have just told you? Ideally, we would all close our wallets, put away our checkbooks and go find something better to do. It's not that WWE hasn't done a few good things since they adopted the new formula, but if we're all honest we'd have to admit that a good 75-90% of what they have done in the past decade has fallen short of expectations.

That's a pretty lousy performance record. As a fan of the San Diego Chargers, I know all about failure. But in sports, you don't suddenly change teams unless you have a vagina. But this isn't sports. The rules are different here. It's not as if they aren't controlling the outcomes. What we have gotten is what THEY have chosen to give us. So it's up to us to say, "I'm switching brands because I don't like the way this shit tastes."

A lot of people have done it already. But not enough for them to pull the plug. So what's a couple hundred or thousand more marks reading spoilers on the internet? They'll always have the troops. They'll always have the middle-income nuclear families. And those people will happily whip out their checkbooks when it comes time to order a pay-per-view or visit the t-shirt stand. Why? Because it's WWE. It's the brand they recognize. They know it's safe. Think they realize such a thing as TNA exists? Not a fucking chance. If their kid did happen upon Impact on TV, think their parents are going to spend money on that ghetto-looking shit? No. Fucking. Way.

So basically, I'm not telling you to do anything. You want to watch WWE in the hopes of gleaning the few good bits of grain you can? Go ahead. Just don't waste your time getting all red-faced and stomping a mudhole in your TV. Realize, nothing's going to change. You want to make a statement and show WWE how fed up you are? Then take your consumer dollars elsewhere. I personally don't think it will make a difference but maybe it will improve your blood-pressure and that alone will be worth it.

Who knows? Maybe enough people WILL turn away and WWE will finally get the message and start to take some risks and improve the level of creativity. But in the meantime, THAT is the state of the business and no one is going to lay it out any better. What you choose to do with the knowledge is up to you.

And that's the last word, peeps. Now it's time to make your voice heard. WWE may not be willing to listen. But here, your opinion actually matters. So.......DISCUSS!

{The Smartest Man Not In Professional Wrestling is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.}

Review In The Raw 1/7/13: Punk Rocks!

Segment 1

-Glad Cena started the show, because despite their efforts to remind us of his presence by replaying his victory, by the time the show was over, his involvement with this episode had thankfully faded into my subconscious.

-I know Cena sells merch and tickets and this crowd in Tampa, FL was living proof of that, but I just don't like his current schtick. It doesn't entertain me. In fact, it gets on my damn nerves. But if WWE's trying to make money, they're doing the right thing by keeping Cena in the spotlight in a way in which the "Universe" seems to approve of. I just think there are better ways to accomplish the same goal.

-AJ has been stripped of all her charm and is now just a bland, vindictive bitch.

-I believe there are ways to make Dolph more marketable but some guys, like Cena, don't have to try, so I guess Dolph should be thankful for whatever breaks he gets in his career.

-Despite the crowd happily lapping up this opening segment, in reality it was all excruciatingly lame and the only payoff was yet another Ziggler loss to Cena.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 2

-Cena vs. Dolph, Part One. Not that these two can't have a good match, I'm just tired of seeing it.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 3

-The referee throwing the managers out routine seems to be making quite the comeback.

-Not one, but TWO terrific counters by Ziggler that should've resulted in him getting the win.

-Crowd is teeming with marks who were perfectly happy with the result despite the piss-poor psychology. Had Cena scored more near falls, it might have been easier to stomach, but Ziggler pushes him to the absolute limit and can't win, then gets beat with ONE Attitude Adjustment after taking very little punishment in the match makes him look like a human matchstick. I get that Cena HAS to win, but the execution was just insulting.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 4

-I was against Eve's heel turn last year because I didn't think she had the acting chops to pull it off but she has proven me wrong. She still can't wrestle worth a damn though.

-I haven't been impressed with Kaitlyn until now. She did a good job of carrying the action.

-I know the crowd could care less about the divas, but that's WWE's fault for always presenting them as an afterthought. This match was decent, it put value on the Divas Championship, it sold both competitors, and it built to a future match. No complaints.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 5

-Everything Wade said in his backstage segment with Santino and Steamboat was accurate. The Intercontinental title has meant more since he won it than it has in a couple of years.

-Orton is so insanely over with the marks, especially in this crowd.

-I applaud Daniel Bryan for not letting them take away his "Yes" chant completely. It's a shame though when you consider how crazy popular it used to be.

-This segment was all filler. Part of the problem with a three-hour show.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 6

-Crowd just wasn't into this tag match between Team Hell No and Team Rhodes Scholars. Not sure if it's the fact that it seems like it's happened too many times already, or that they forget that Team Hell No actually wrestle and are the tag champs because they're used to seeing them in cheesy backstage skits.

-Bryan, of course, has to eat the pin.

-As much as I like everyone involved in this match, it just failed to capture my interest.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 7

-I don't mind Randy Orton going over Heath Slater in this type of environment because it's what I call a "cheap pop" match. 3MB furthered their role as cheating losers and Orton is still, Orton.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 8

-I don't understand, if Barrett was going to be booked to get a strong win in his match with Santino, why wasn't he given an intro? Granted, his music sucks (and maybe that's why) but he's the champ. And little things like that go a long way in establishing him in the minds of the fans.

-I would actually love to see Ricky Steamboat come back as a babyface manager.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 9

-Crowd popped huge for Antonio Cesaro's win over Khali and rightfully so.

-Miz has thrown away all of his potential in his new role as a babyface. What was once a strength, his talking, has become his biggest weakness.

-Khali is a human punchline, but he got Cesaro over which is what he was out there to do.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 10

-Nothing wrong with this match. It was decent action and a fun win for Sheamus, but it felt a little like overkill having two squashes involving 3MB on the same show.

-The crowd, bless their widdle hearts, stayed with the match and that kept it from becoming a total snoozefest.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 11

-First half of the TLC match. Nothing spectacular, but solid action.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 12

-As with their Hell In A Cell championship match, I felt like the TLC between Punk and Ryback should've been better. By the time the show ended, it was almost as if this match didn't happen. For a TLC championship match, that's not a good thing.

-Still, it wasn't terrible so I guess it gets a plus.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 13

-The Team Hell No segment was childish but it keeps their "momentum" going and now fans have something to look forwad to with Dr. Shelby returning next week.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 14

-The Big Show squashing Kofi was basically filler on a show like this but it was memorable filler. I like Show being built up as a monster. Unfortunately, the result of Friday's Smackdown, which is actually Tuesday's Smackdown have since been reported and this "monster" was apparently stopped by Alberto Del Rio of all people, and in a Last Man Standing match of all things. But at the time, I didn't know that so, this match was fine for what it was intended to be.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 15

[Author's Note: Here's where I plan to rant a little. I tried to keep the review brief on purpose until now because CM Punk's "pipe bomb" has had a lot of people talking since Monday and I've been itching to give my take on what really happened.]

-CM Punk's promo was exactly that, a promo. It wasn't a shoot, or a work, or even a pipe bomb. It was a wrestling promo designed to solicit a particular response from the crowd. And it accomplished exactly what WWE and CM Punk, and even the Rock, wanted it to accomplish.

-What were CM Punk's goals going out for that promo on Monday night?
1) Make people care about him.
2) Make himself a threat to the Rock.
3) Sell tickets to the Royal Rumble and pay-per-view buys.

-Now let's examine how he was able to accomplish these three things.
1) While Punk has been the company's top heel for the past few months, working a program with the Rock is a whole other ball game. Until now, these two have always been viewed as being in entirely different leagues. It's one thing for John Cena to challenge "The Great One" but CM Punk? Get real, kid! You're just a lame duck keeping the WWE title warm until it's time to have Cena win it back, right?

All true, until Monday night. Punk hasn't created a "buzz" since his "pipe bomb" two summers ago in Las Vegas. With his "shoot" comments, he took himself out of the regular roster of Superstars and made himself someone who transcended the WWE, just like the Rock did when he made it big in Hollywood. The same thing happened on Monday. All of a sudden, CM Punk is no longer just a wrestler following the script but he's some kind of renengade, he's a real person who is speaking his mind.

Whether he actually believes what he was saying or not doesn't matter. It accomplished what it was supposed to accomplish. It set CM Punk apart from the rest of the WWE roster and made him more than just a wrestler. Which gave him gave him the clout and the stanind he needed to challenge the Almight Rock.

2) While Punk hasn't been on a roll lately as far as clean, convincing wins, the fact that he dared to make "shoot" comments and "pull back the curtain" makes him a "loose cannon." And a loose cannon is capable of anything. This makes him dangerous, and a threat to the Almighty Rock.

He and the Rock bolstered this by reminding us of when he laid out Dwayne on the 1000th episode of Raw and with other standard "tough guy" talk. But the point is, the guy who has never been able to cleanly beat John Cena has gotten us to at least entertain the notion that he can find a way to defeat one of the few people who has.

3) After the Rock went through his opening monologue, it was critical that CM Punk come back strong. The importance of Phil Brooks not falling flat and simply rolling over for the transcendent Dwayne Johnson cannot be stressed enough. If he had fizzled in his rebuttal, accomplishing the first two goals would have all been for naught.

But not only did Phil Brooks not roll over for Dwayne Johnson, CM Punk smashed the Rock's fast ball in a line drive right back at his head and got off a line that everyone will still remember come next Monday and mark my words, will be replayed multiple times before this angle it finished. And most importantly, he accomplished the one and only goal of the entire segment: Sell. This. Match.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 16

-During the Slammy episode of Raw, the Rock won an award for something (I can't remember what) and of course, he wasn't there to receive it and the crowd booed vociferously. And while watching this I remember writing in my notepad, the crowd may boo the Rock every time he's not there, but these same people will cheer and chant when he is there.

Point being, "The Rock" Dwayne Johnson is a big effing deal in professional wrestling. It's the importance of leaving on a high note and establishing a legacy and going on to accomplish bigger and better things. We as fans may try to belittle the Rock's involvement in anything current in WWE, but to Vince, Hunter, Stephanie, Linda, and the board of directors, he may as well be Midas (the legendary figure from Greek mythology whose touch could turn anything into gold, not the oil change place, ya rednecks!).

But just like it was important for Punk to come back with a strong response to the Rock's dog-and-pony show, it was equally important for the Rock to close out strong. He was clearly rattled by Punk's memorable rebuttal, but he got his revenge with an equally memorable response and punctuated it with perfectly-timed Rock Bottom that seemed to bring the roof off the freaking place.

It was the kind of set-up to a big match that gave you goosebumps and reminded you of what makes wrestling so unique and so much fun. You're never going to see anything that cool in at a UFC weigh-in so shut your mouth about wrestling losing fans to "real fighting." This is theater. This is art. And the two artists who were in the ring on Monday night worked together in perfect harmony to produce a masterpiece that should be appreciated for what it was, not twisted into something it wasn't (I'm looking at YOU, Billy Graham...the wrestler, not the evangelist).

Last Word: PLUS +

FINAL TALLY: 10 PLUS, 6 MINUS

Don't read too much into this final score. I expected them to book a strong show for the Rock's return.

My chief complaints:

- John Cena. It's not just that he's bland and annoying and wrestles like shit....well, come to think of it, yeah, that's exactly what it is.

- The misuse of talent. AJ and Dolph could be doing so much more. But I guess there can only be one top program and right now, it's Punk and the Rock so at least they're not completely irrelevant. Remember, Dolph was once teammates with this guy...

My chief points of praise:

-Antonio Cesaro. Apart from the segment with Punk and the Rock, his Neutralizer on Khali will be the one thing most people remember about this show.

-The final two segments with CM Punk and the Rock was as good as any pre-match build up segment there has ever been. It may not go down in history with other memorable moments like Jake "The Snake" Roberts DDT'ing Ricky Steamboat on the concrete floor, or the "Macho Man" Randy Savage crushing Steamboat's larynx with the ring bell (boy, poor Steamboat had his ass handed to him back in the day, huh?), but as far as mic work is concerned, it was as good, perhaps better, than anything I remember seeing in twenty-eight years as a fan.

I've rambled on enough. I'll be watching the Royal Rumble and you should too if you're a fan at all. I consider myself old-school and hard to please and despite my ability to break a segment down and analyze it for what it really is, I'm still a fan at heart who wants to mark out for wrestling done right. And that's what I was treated to Monday night by CM Punk and the Rock. Whether of not they can keep it going reamins to be seen, but for now, I'm going to allow myself to enjoy it. In a wresting landscape filled with watered-down pop radio garbage, it was nice to get a little Punk-Rock to remind you how much fun wrestling can be. Now, last one into the mosh pit wears his sister's Doc Martens!

That's the last word, bitches. Discuss!

{"Handsome" Dan Lopez is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.}

Breaking the Smack Down: 01-04-13

Haven't watched Raw in two weeks because the holidays had me busy. Haven't watched Smackdown in a couple of months just because I was trying to make an effort to stay current on Raw and after three hours of WWE programming, finding time in my life for another two just wasn't a top priority.

Which is unfortunate because prior to my decision to watch Raw regularly, I actually felt like Smackdown was the better show. And after catching this week's episode, my feelings haven't changed.

Segment 1. Superstar Tag Match Main Event Booking 101

-I'm sure WWE could always use the excuse "well we had other plans and the General Manager decide to change things at the last minute" when it comes to these opening booking segments, but how many times does this need to happen? And what purpose does it serve? Cheap pops from the live crowd? What is the television audience getting out of it? I'll tell ya! NOTHING!

-Randy Orton is over. More over than Sheamus, that's for sure. Which is unfortunate because I think Sheamus is the more entertaining wrestler. I still feel like they've done him a disservice with the way he's been booked.

-The banter between the two faces was pretty weak. Thankfully the Big Show came out to right the ship. The whole segment ultimately fell flat for me but I've been really impressed with Big Show as the heel champ. He's finally being booked strong and it's paying off.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 2. The Three-Man Bland

-3MB could've been done so much better. There's nothing wrong with the concept, just the execution and I think that's not only the fault of the people who are writing, or rather not writing, their skits, but also the fault of the performers. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre are terrible. They can't act to save their lives, and say what you want to but wrestling is acting. Their overreactions to everything that happened during this segment were painful to watch.

-The one positive was that there was some semblence of a storyline with 3MB wanting revenge against Miz for insulting them during MizTV. As if being on MizTV wasn't enough of an insult.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 3. Didn't Miz the Mark

-This turned out to be a decent match which both guys needed because their current career direction killed any momentum they had.

-Nice to see Miz get a clean win as a face and he seems to have found a schtick that works in which he points to a section of the crowd and they yell, "AWESOME!" He just needs to sustain this and not allow himself to get embarrassed in any future segments. Roddy Piper in the late 80s, early 90s had his share of significant moments despite not being great in the ring, and not being in the main event. Miz is in a similar spot now with this TV show. Despite the scripted nature of WWE TV, I doubt they could stop him from ad-libbing and as long as he makes it entertaining, he could stay relevant at the midcard level which is really all he can ask for at this point.

-Heath Slater is a tremendous worker who would be better served on his own. But he's being used in the ring and in small angles that could easily be turned into something more should he need to be given a push in the future. There are worse positions to be in in the current WWE.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 4. Can't Keep A Good Man Down

-Talent CANNOT be suppressed. We all complain about what's happened to Zack Ryder, and none of us as loudly as Zack himself. But the truth is, Zack is marginally talented at best. Wade Barrett on the other hand, is a supremely talented individual. He's arguably the best talker in wrestling right now and is as good as anyone in the ring. I have NO DOUBT that he will one day be a top heel in WWE.

-I LOVE LOVE LOVE the fact that they chose to do pre-match promos and build anticipation for a secondary title that has meant so little until Wade began to challenge for it.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 5. Let The Sleeping Giant Lie

-JBL on commentary is the only thing that could make a Khali match watchable.

-So two guys, Primo and Epico, who actually have talent and can wrestle and put on an excellent match, are forced to job out to two nearly immobile freaks and for what? Is this really what WWE thinks their fans want to see? It's stuff like this that make me feel ashamed to admit that I watch professional wrestling. My wife actually walked in during this segment and I felt the need to apoligize. And I did! This was just an embarrasment on every level and WWE, Vince McMahon, Linda's dog, Stephanie's boobs, and Triple H's nose should all be ashamed of themselves.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 6. The Concept of Overkill Nearly Proven

-Kofi's over, unfortunately. I guess wrestling needs babyfaces like Kofi Kingston so in that respect, he plays his role well. I've just always been partial to heels so whenever I see Kofi jumping around like a sixth grader it makes me want to kick him in the Kingstones.

-Wade needs new music. For the love of Kate's baby, get this man some new music!!

"Who's music is that? It really sucks arse."
-The first half of this match suffered from a severe case of "been there, seen that". How many times have these two wrestled each other on TV now? I know it's gotten to the point where I am now beating that dead horse's ghost, but this shit needs to stop. THERE'S TOO MUCH WWE ON MY TV!!!!

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 7. That (Should've) Been All, Folks!

-Wade Barrett has single-handedly made the Intercontinental Title important again. How? By VALUING it. He hasn't talked about it as a stepping stone. He kisses it the way Bret Hart used to kiss the WWF Championship. I don't know if there has been a concerted effort on the part of the writers, bookers, announcers, etc., but the fact that the I-C title is important has been effectively communicated to this fan. I can't rave enough about how marvelous that is in the present WWE culture.

-Despite having seen this match so many times, terrific pacing by the wrestlers, and good psychology had me watching intently and emotionally invested (I don't read spoilers because I'm a better fan without them). And to top it all off, THE RIGHT GUY WON with a creative finish and it was CLEAN! It's stuff like this that made me a fan in the first place. Keep your circus, you out-of-touch, condescending twats, and give me WRESTLING!

-My only complaint is, the show should've ended. That should've been the main event. Nothing that followed even came close to approaching this performance and by featuring "bigger names" in what amounted to a throwaway, meaningless tag match you devalue the entire product. Again, I know the logistics, I just appreciate the value of a refined product and I think WWE is missing the boat in this regard.

Last Word: PLUS +

Segment 8. Diva'd If You Do, Diva'd If You Don't

-The match between Tamina and Layla was short and lackluster. Tamina won but none of it matters. According to this interview recently conducted with Michelle McCool, Divas are punished when they get "too good" in the ring, so what's the point of me investing any interest in them? They're either going to suck because they have no talent, or the ones that do will be told to suck on purpose. Just so incredibly disappointing. Not because I'm a huge fan of female wrestling, but just because I believe that there is money to be made with it that WWE seems content to leave laying on the table.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 9. Hard to Rebound After That

-Like I said, I didn't watch Raw and apparently I didn't miss much if the atrocity that was Dolph Ziggler and AJ's New Year's toast was such a highlight that it was chosen for the Raw Rebound (wasn't it called "Rewind"? Oh well, does it really matter?)

-So Dolph and AJ are the new Edge and Vickie. How blatantly unoriginal.

-The point behind all of this seems to have been to give John Cena a foil to work off of while he bides his time until WrestleMania and a rematch with The Rock. I guess it's working for the majority of the "Universe" but seeing as how I HATE John Cena and I LIKE Dolph Ziggler and AJ, this whole angle can get buried in cement next to Paul Bearer and I wouldn't miss it.

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 10. Caution: Pedestrian Main Event In Progress

-Boring, paint-by-number action in the first half of this "Main Event".

Last Word: MINUS -

Segment 11. Who Is This "Fella" Anyway?

-Why does Sheamus yell "Fella" all the time? I get that he's Irish but do I need to be reminded before every big move that he does? This is part of his booking that I believe has held him back. Or maybe he came up with it on his own, in which case, he's as out of touch as the WWE creative team. Drop it already, you pasty Paddy!

-Orton "going rogue" makes sense so props for that. But it would've meant more if the match wasn't so unspectacular.

Last Word: MINUS -

FINAL TALLY: FOUR PLUS +, SEVEN MINUS -

With such a lopsided score in favor of the negative, why would I contend that Smackdown is superior to Raw? Let me address that as we examine...

My chief complaints:

-Bookend segments featuring main event players that were cliche' and uninteresting. Fine for the live crowd but not for TV.
-Embarrassing segments like the Khali/Hornswoggle debacle make it hard to even admit being a fan.

My chief points of praise:

-It's only a two-hour show. I'd prefer ninety minutes but when the main event was over and I felt like I just couldn't stand to watch anymore, the show ended. Had this been Raw, I would've had a whole other hour to sit through.
-The entire Wade Barrett-Kofi Kingston Intercontinental title storyline. This is has been hands-down the best thing WWE has done in the past six months.

So there you have it. Knowing I'm going to be subjected to a mostly crap product, I'd prefer less of it. Not too complicated, right?

It's a shame that when it comes to watching wrestling I as a fan am forced into the position of choosing between the lesser of two evils but that's the sad state of the WWE right now.

What would I have done differently?

-The show would only be an hour and half first of all.
-That would enable me to eliminate some segments completely like the "Raw Rebound" (anyone who's watching Smackdown is already watching Raw and remembers what happened just four days ago) and the Khali/Hornswoggle disaster.
-I would eliminate the main event players from the TV show completely. They could've done those segments for the live audience to get them fired up (telling them they're getting an exclusive impromptu main event that won't be aired on TV would be more thrilling I would think than telling them they're going to be subjected to a run-of-the-mill bullshit tag match hampered by TV time limits and commercial breaks but what the fuck do I know, right?) but letting the TV show end with the Barrett-Kofi match would've been fine by me and perfectly acceptable from a booking standpoint. Seeing the main event guys every fucking week devalues their presence and makes it less special. Less is more.
-Instead of humiliating a quality team like Primo and Epico, why not give them a match against another quality team like the Usos?
-And instead of a meaningless two-minute match between the divas, how about give them a little time to work with and give the fans a chance to invest some emotion in them?

That's what I would do anyway. But I'm just a fan. Some might go so far as to call me a mark. But I like to think that I've got my eye on the ball when it comes to wrestling. I would want to make money just like the WWE wants to do. And giving talented, entertaining individuals more air time would generate more interest in the product and willingness to spend money on things pertaining to it like merchandise and pay-per-views.

But again, what do I know? I'm only the Smartest Man Not In Professional Wrestling.

Now THAT, is the last word, assholes. Post a comment and tell your friends about what we're doing here. Then tell them to post a comment. What I'm trying to say is.............DISCUSS!

{"Handsome" Dan Lopez is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.}