Gimmicks That Should Never Have Sucked: The Berzerker

Title's pretty self-explanatory but that's not going to stop me from explaining the purpose for this blog because that's what we authors do because we authors are assholes who just can't get enough of ourselves.

A lot of people like to claim that the wrestling business has been completely tapped out. That there are no more "new" and "fresh" ideas to be had, that there are only old ones to be re-packaged and re-purposed.

Pardon me while I call BULL to the SHIT.

Are people proclaiming the death of the movie or television industries? How many ideas have been tried and re-tried in those two forms of entertainment yet you don't find people playing their funeral march, do you?

Just because there was once a terrible movie made out of a great idea, that doesn't mean that idea can never be used again. No, someone takes that idea and does it better; perhaps with better effects, better acting, better direction, or a better screenplay.

Even then, that idea is not dead. Because that is just one interpretation. It doesn't matter if it is successful or not, the next interpretation that is tried may be a colossal failure or may be even more successful. The point being, ideas can live forever.

So what if old concepts that have been tried in wrestling are being tried again? A new interpretation can breathe new life into any concept. But I also believe there are many concepts that haven't yet been tried that could be made successful when executed properly.

Some characters or gimmicks that were terrible in their original execution, when given a fresh interpretation, could be great. I've chosen one in particular to focus on for this installment of Gimmicks That Should Never Have Sucked and that is, this man....

That's right boys and girls. If you grew up watching wrestling when I did, you know all too well who this is. It's the motherfucking Berzerker. Good ol' "Yukon" John Nord. Sure, a viking helmet and some fuzzy boots are step up from flannel and an axehandle but not by much.

So what was the problem with this gimmick? Where did it go so horribly wrong?

On the plus side you have a huge guy playing the character, John Nord is 6'6" (1.98 m) and over 300lbs (143 kg), who had seven years of experience as a pro wrestler, working for Verne Gagne in the AWA and with legends such as Bruiser Brody and Jimmy Snuka.

The concept, on the surface at least, sounds cool. He's a berserker. Berserkers were the fiercest of the vikings. Vikings were ruthless, take-no-prisoners, plunderers who would wreck anything and anyone that tried to withstand them. This all sounds great right? Yeah, sure it does...for the tenth century.

The fact is, in professional wrestling in the 21st century, it is against the rules to hack someone to pieces with ye broadsword, or smash them with ye shield, or headbutt them with ye horned helmet. Which makes ye gimmick pretty fucking pointless.

Ye might as well be an oversized goon with a viking fetish.

"BOOBIES!!!"
So in other words, when the WWF debuted The Berzerker they didn't put much thought into the character or how the concept could be executed effectively in the modern world. Not a big deal since it was just John Nord, not a guy synonymous with wrestling excellence or star potential charisma. I'm sure they didn't have big plans for him other than just to have around in case they needed a big guy to job out to their top heroes like Hulk Hogan or the Ultimate Warrior.

That's fine. Problem is, it's a waste of what could potentially be a pretty cool gimmick. It's clear why the Berzerker sucked in 1991, but how could it have been done better?

To answer that question, let's first find out what a true berserker is, and see how we can apply it effectively to the modern world of pro wrestling.

First of all, bersekers were known for possessing AN UNCONTROLLABLE, TRANCE-LIKE FURY IN BATTLE.


This is something that has been done before in wrestling and could easily be done again. It wouldn't make for very intersting in-ring performances if, for every single match, the person playing the berserker character simply came out and flew into an uncontrollable rage because in the real world, wrestlers blow up, they get tired. So pacing has to be taken into consideration.

But the idea that could be sold is that this person could "snap" at any time and fly into that "berserker rage" that drives him forward even after a lengthy, physically-grueling match.

Second, this rage was attributed to the influence of DRUGS, ADRENALINE, or WITCHCRAFT.

I realize sorcery and drug abuse have rarely been portrayed well in wrestling for whatever reason but all three of these things can be and have beeen communicated quite effectively on television and in movies. So my question is, why not in wrestling? They are all forms of entertainment. These are very real social issues that draw people to watch and can be very compelling when part of a dramatic story.

So if it can be done convincingly, any one of these explanations for the character's "power" would be perfectly acceptable and equally compelling.

Thirdly, berserkers were distinguished by what they wore in battle. They often wore either wolf or bear pelts, giving them a fearsome appearance. The word "berserker" actually means "bear coat".

In the tenth century, in the heat of the moment on a chaotic battlefied where you're fighting on foot with crude weapons, a guy showing up in a bear or wolf costume would be pretty unnerving. Know what happens when you try that today in a wrestling ring? You get this....

Yeah, not so much.

That's essentially where the WWF failed with regard to their original try at the berserker character. That type of wardrobe just doesn't work anymore. It's not frightening. It's comical. Because it doesn't make you a better warrior. It just makes you a better target for hunters.

If you're going to take a cool archaic concept and revise it to fit the modern world, you have to give it an honest, modern interpretation to make it just as cool now as it was then.

A berserker's wardrobe in the tenth century was both functional and frightening. How would such a warrior accomplish that today? Take a look at this examples of badass modern-day combat gear...

Obviously, this example is a little too cumbersome to be realistically applied to a professional wrestler, but trim away a few of the accessories, and this still looks like a guy who fucking means business!

This is when I started to get a vision of a more current worker with a similar wardrobe and character to that of John Nord's 1991 Berzerker. That being Edge.

Obviously, he's not playing a "berserker" type character in this photo, but look at his jacket. It has a sort of futuristic, modern warfare feel to it. The only adjustments I would make to the rest of his ring gear would be to add a sleeveless top to offer some sort of chest protection, nothing too bulky; sleeveless, to allow full range of arm movement, something a berserker would like to have in battle; and his tights more of a combat-ready type as opposed to the "Rated R" type he's wearing in this picture.

Edge may not have John Nord's imposing physique, but realistically, how essential in combat is it to be muscle-bound? If anything, a more flexible, athletic, versatile fighter would be better suited as part of a berserker army on today's battlefields. It's not like Edge is a small man. At 6'5" (1.96 m) he still has the imposing height that one would imagine a viking would possess.

Even the name "Edge" suits a berserker character because they were noted for fighting with reckless abandon and disregard for even their own lives. In other words, someone who is on the edge.

Also, someone with a berserker mentality would take every advantage in battle to give themselves an edge over their enemies. An ultimate opportunist in other words. So the underhanded, self-serving things he did, marrying Vicki Guerrero for example, could still be completely applicable, just another way of gaining an advantage, a calculated way of positioning himself to ensure victory.

Berserker warfare still exists today, believe it or not. Some researchers suggest that perhaps even the berserkers of old were fueled by the same psychological disorder that affects those today with post-traumatic stress syndrome. A regular person thrust into horrific circumstances in which survival is the ultimate goal, can be infused with what appears to be a supernatural imperviousness to pain and an utter disregard for the lives of others and even his own.

Edge did a good job of conveying madness at times with his expressions. Add the extra storyline element of this madness giving him a certain imperviousness to pain and driving him to victory or insane risk-taking and, even though his character was never tied to a modern-day berserker, it's easy to see how he could have been.

So did I really go through all this just to say that the Berzerker would have worked, just as Edge? Kind of. Sometimes a character has to be sold subtly, with nothing more than a commentator referring to him as a "modern-day berserker". Sometimes that's all it takes for a concept to become ingrained in the fans' subconscious.

The point is, ideas need to be well thought-out and developed before they're debuted to avoid one-dimensional caricatures that have a very limited range of application. The character of Edge had tremendous range and versatility. Attaching the "berserker" label to that character would not have limited that range at all. On the other hand, a guy comes out in fuzzy boots and a viking helmet, you've pretty much seen all you're going to get.

This is just one interpretation of The Berzerker. I'm sure there are others that would be just as effective. That's the beauty of a great idea. It can spawn multiple incarnations. Speaking of a great idea, tune in next time when we tackle this monstrosity....

Until then, that's the Last Word, y'all. Now.........DISCUSS!


{"Handsome" Dan Lopez is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling show, the Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast. Follow him on Twitter, @DAntonioLopez.}

A Bad Case of the IWC: Ignorant Wrestling Community

[Douchey Author's Note: I don't watch Raw live because it's THREE FUCKING HOURS and I just don't have THREE FUCKING HOURS to sit in front of my TV and watch a wrestling show that I know I'm going to mostly hate; consequently, I'm still catching up. So I have yet to watch Raw from last Monday, September 27th therefore, this review pertains to what transpired on Raw from a few weeks prior, that being August 20th. Just play along and I think we'll be alright.]


Anybody else catch the "ENTERTAINMENT" graphic that flashed across the screen followed by the WWE logo after Raw went off the air?

The first part of it appears at the tail-end of this video.

I bring it up because it's going to be important for you to keep that in the back of your mind while you read this review. I'll explain how it relates to everything else I'm about to say when we get to my Last Word.

But first things first. To say that wrestling fans complain a lot is like saying the Kardashian girls might have had multiple sex partners. It's a bit of an understatement. Now I'll be the first one to stand up and proclaim my rights as a paying fan to voice my displeasure as often and as loudly as I see necessary.

However, because we do it so often, the act of complaining can turn into a REFLEX rather than a REACTION, and we can find ourselves complaining about EVERYTHING. Even when WWE does the things that we say we want them to do.

Let's go through the August 20th edition of Raw and pick out some examples and see if I'm not on to something here....

When Brock Lesnar came back we were all upset because we felt like they threw him into the mix too quickly with Cena only to have him lose to Cena in their very first match.

HOWEVER...he has become the most intimidating motherfucker on the entire roster thanks to his manhandling of Shawn Michaels, his victory over Triple H, the addition of Paul Heyman as his mouthpiece, and even his constant "quitting" adds to his persona of being "bigger than WWE."

Speaking of Brock, has anyone noticed that he's only wrestled TWICE in five months since returning to the company? Another of our chief complaints is that the talent is overexposed. We all thought this was going to get worse when Raw went to three hours every week.

HOWEVER...not only has WWE managed to keep Brock out of the ring, but on this edition of Raw, neither of the top champions wrestled, meaning World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus and WWE Champion CM Punk. And neither did John Cena.

Now I'm not saying that they couldn't afford to spread out the in-ring appearances of these guys even more, but you would expect, especially in a three-hour show, that at least one of them would have to end up in a match of some kind. But the point is, they didn't.

Speaking of matches, there were eight, count 'em, EIGHT matches on the August 20th edition of Raw. Now, before you start using "fuzzy math" (Come back, W!) and try to argue that every match should've been at least twenty minutes if it's a three hour show, let me give you some more realistic numbers...

Any hour-long program you watch on TV, you're only going to get about 30-40 minutes of actual show and about 20-30 minutes of commercials. So to be fair to Raw, every hour the show is on, we're probably only getting about 30-40 minutes of actual show. If we're generous and say it's 40 minutes for every hour, that gives us 120 minutes of actual show time. If every segment was devoted entirely to the matches, that would mean each match would have to last approximately 15 minutes from beginning to end, including intros, aftermath, etc.

Now, I'm sure there are some purists out there that would love that. I for one, wouldn't mind seeing a little more WRESTLING in my WRESTLING shows. However, I understand that some time has to be devoted to other things too. You're going to have backstage segments, in-ring segments, replays, etc. That's all part of wrestling. So as much as I would love to see longer matches, my point is, if it's more wrestling I want, I can't honestly say that WWE isn't making an effort in that regard, especially when you consider how much show time you're actually getting.

Speaking of all the extra-curriculars like backstage segments and in-ring promos, Raw General Manager AJ Lee, while not nearly as cute fully-clothed, hasn't lot much of her appeal as far as I can see. Her involvement in the WWE Title picture with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan got to be too much for my liking, to the point where I felt like she was overshadowing the championship and two of the company's best workers.

In her new role however, she gets plenty of screen time (good), wrestles less (good), and gets to continue to expand her "crazy chick" persona (good) while not being married (that was intentional) to any one worker or angle. Fact is, her character is good. Really good. And she plays it so well that she's going to overshadow anyone she's involved with.

So as much as we might hate to admit it, putting her in the General Manger role was the best thing that WWE could have done for her. Tying her to any one worker would have most likely resulted in the death of her character because she's not good enough to headline shows as a wrestler and the crazy chick who was just another worker on the roster had already hit its ceiling with Punk, Bryan and Kane.

So yeah, I'd much rather see the half-naked pixie wrapping her legs around guys and making love to their faces but I'm sure when the occasion calls for it, that version of AJ will make her reappearance. At least she's still relevant and in a position to be used that way and not completely forgotten.

Speaking of AJ as Raw GM, the "decisions" she made during this particualr episode were about as good as anyone could have asked for, in my opinion. The Randy Orton return was exciting. I'm a little tired of him, like everybody else, but in a wrestling landscape that offers so few surprises thanks to internet spoilers, it was a good moment.

The Kane/Ryder vs. Bryan/Miz match, while doing a horrible disservice to Ryder and Miz, was a nod to continuity which so many of us complain, is lacking in today's product. The fact that these wrestlers all had history with each other was played up for that match to the point where you couldn't overlook it or forget about it, as is usually the case.

Speaking of Bryan and Kane, even though I'm not a fan of the way WWE has treated Bryan like a second-rate star because of his lack of size, thanks to the whole "Yes vs. No" thing, the anger storyline, his history with AJ, and the quality matches he's had with Kane, who is still a major company player, he is in a position now that I don't think any internet mark could have projected for him just one year ago.

Speaking of Kane, he's in a similar position to Orton, a veteran who seems to be hanging on too long. However, if it weren't for his chemistry with the Big Red Monster, Daniel Bryan might have been forgotten by now. Our biggest complaint about these veterans overstaying their welcome is when they refuse to put new guys over on their way out. That can hardly be said about Kane who seems to be doing his best to "make" Daniel Bryan in thier angle.

The proof? No one else is getting entire vignettes and backstage segments devoted to him like Bryan is and even though we all know he is a much more capable wrestler than he is being allowed to show, I'd rather he be involved and over as a heel, than losing to the Funkasaurus and buried at the bottom of the midcard.

Speaking of the Funkasaurus, I thought the gimmick had run it's course. And it may still have. But, whatever life is left in it, I'm glad it's being sacrificed on the altar of Damien Sandow. Another of our many complaints is that the WWE isn't making any new stars. Like I said, not sure how much further Brodus Clay can climb, but the sky's the limit for Sandow as far as I'm concerned. Their "mini-feud" is a throwback to the late eighties when midcarders like Bret Hart and Bad News Brown, or Hercules and the Ultimate Warrior, young up-and-coming talents would engage in a similar feud, with the more impressive of the two moving up, and the "loser" staying put until he has proven himself ready to advance to the "next level."

A similar scenario has developed between Ryback and Jinder Mahal. Both guys clearly have potential and their present conflict is a great tool for revealing which one is ready to take that proverbial next step.

Speaking of potential, David Otunga, who I'd really grown to appreciate as a lackey to John Laurenitis, not only held his own with AJ backstage but immediately gets a match upon his return to TV. He also explained what he'd been up to in his absence. Not that filming a movie with Halle Berry is as big a deal as it used to be but still, nice to see a talented guy making some progress in the world of entertainment and still being allowed to get right back into the ring upon his return.

Speaking of Otunga getting back in the ring, while some might complain about him getting squashed, he was squashed by Big Show. Big Show has always been a source of frustration for me because he hasn't always been booked as the intimidating physical force that he is. I realize this is wrestling and sometimes the storyline calls for the giant to take a fall.

What I'm not going to complain about is when a giant finally gets booked as a giant. I said earlier that Brock Lesnar is the most intimidating guy on the roster right now. Well Number "One B" would be Big Show. People should be scared to get in the ring with him and right now, that's how he's being booked. That's booking that makes sense. Again, one of those things we all clamor for.

Speaking of which, one thing that so many people have been clamoring for that was actually mentioned during the show, is CM Punk to be involved in the main event as the WWE Champion instead of constantly taking a backseat to John Cena. It seems that this real internet situation is actually being brought to the forefront, not just in any angle, but in the biggest angle in the company right now. You'd think this would make us all happy, right? FINALLY, WWE is listening to the Internet Wrestling Community.

You'd be surprised, or maybe you wouldn't, to know that some people actually liked the pandering corporate suck-up that CM Punk had become as the babyface champion and maligned this heel turn.

And that, dear friends, leads me to my point behind running down virtually the entire show, which I don't usually do and despise in reviews as a general rule. But I felt it was necessary to prove my point: most of the complaining that people do with regard to the current WWE product seems like a REFLEX more than a REACTION.

You ask them, "How was Raw?" And instead of a realistic answer, you get the usual, "Ah, more of the same old shit. WWE sucks right now so of course it was terrible!"

But just look at how many POSITIVE things I mentioned about this one episode of Raw. Yet you can't get these haters to even mention ONE.

Another thing you can't get them to do is tell you the last time they actually liked EVERYTHING WWE Creative was doing. They all use phrases like "FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS NOW the WWE has gotten worse and worse." Care to ascribe a NUMBER to those "past few years?"

Or they'll say, "The creative team, Vince and Linda McMahon, continue to just make the WWE look more and more terrible AS THE YEARS GO ON." A time frame, a date, something! I'm beggin' ya!

They won't do it. Know why? Because they've NEVER liked everything WWE Creative has done. There's always SOMETHING to complain about and therefore the product is "terrible." "Oh, if only we were still in the ATTITUDE ERA!" I wish I could borrow Doc Brown's DeLorean, kidnap one of these motherfuckers, and take them back to their beloved Attitude Era so they can hear just how much they were complaining even back then!

Bottom line is, you're memories are liars. You think back fondly to your childhood or your teenage years when you weren't so smart (I use that term very, very loosely) and you could watch wrestling just for the fun of it and you think everything they did back then was good. I dare you to go watch some of that shit again. Go watch a random episode of WCW Nitro or an Attitude Era Raw then come tell me how great it was.

Or you really want to see some shit, how about you go back even further and watch an episode of Prime Time Wrestling or Saturday Night's Main Event. Or how about an old WWF pay-per-view?

Am I saying EVERYTHING from "back in the day" sucked? Of course not. Anymore than I'm saying that everything WWE is doing now is good. I'm just saying, let's quit kicking our legs at EVERYTHING WWE is doing now and pissing on the entire product and let's start making realistic assesments of what we're watching.

Because what we're watching (you were supposed to remember something, remember?) is ENTERTAINMENT. It is not, is not, is not WRESTLING. Forget about belts and their legacy or importance. Forget about "midcard" or "main event". Forget about who "deserves" to be a "top star". Because it's TV SHOW. They don't talk like that. They haven't for YEARS. It's time we all caught up.

As usual, I've got a lot more I could say, but for now, that's the Last Word. Until next time, marks......DISCUSS!!!!



["Handsome" Dan Lopez is mentioned regularly on his favorite wrestling show, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast which you can download for free on iTunes. Follow him on Twitter, @DAntonioLopez.}

Review Without Honor: Death Before Dishonor X: Steen vs. Rhino

A more appropriate title might have been Dead Before It Hit The Ground, because that essentially describes Ring of Honor's internet Pay-Per-View feed.

I had planned on doing a full show review but since I missed THE ENTIRE FIRST HALF, you're getting a half-assed one instead. (Half-assed as far as content is concerned, not quality. Trust me, it'll be good.)

As usual, with my ROH reviews, we'll start with the main event because unlike Ring of Honor, I'm not here to waste your time and maybe that's all you're really interested in. So here goes...

KEVIN STEEN def. RHINO (ROH World Title)

This match-up was the real draw for me and reason I even ordered the pay-per-view. So I guess in that sense, I got my money's worth because this was a very good match.

Before the bell, Jim Cornette made an appearance and announced that he was making it a No-Disqualification match, which allowed for an extra level of violence and helped the overall match quality because as a result, we got a nice table spot with Rhino flying over the top rope and through Steen who was positioned on a table outside the ring (Sick!), as well as plenty of chair shots and outside interference.

Needless to say, it was a pretty wild match but the wrestlers both did a good job of selling which added just the right amount of drama (something which, if you frequent this blog page regularly, you'd know I've been critical of Ring of Honor contests for lacking).

The best part was the finish because it was believable. Too often in ROH, a wrestler will kick out of pin attempts following some of the most outrageous moves, then get beat with a pedestrian finisher, like Steen's F-Sync (still going strong as Wrestling's Most Poorly Named Finisher), which is basically Brock Lesnar's F5. I'm not even a fan of this move when Brock does it, but if you want to make it a devastating move because it looks unique, fine.

In a match like this though, a simple "F-Sync" should NOT have gotten the job done. Steen hit it at one point but thankfully, Rhino kicked out of the pin attempt. It was the F-Sync that ultimately won the match for Steen, but it came after Rhino missed a Gore, causing him to smash through another table. Perfectly acceptable finish in this author's all-knowing opininon.

The match was certainly worth any wrestling's fans time, but not necessarily worth fifteen dollars (the cost to stream the iPPV). I mean, Rhino put on an equally good match for free on ROH's TV show just a couple of weeks ago against Eddie Edwards.

There was some stuff in the aftermath in which Michael Elgin came out and attempted to power bomb Steen as a set-up for their title match at the next iPPV, but he was accidentally thwarted by his stablemate Roderick Strong. This lead to Elgin power bombing Strong and essentially ending their "partnership." This is fine because it's what the fans who regularly watch ROH and are privy to the build-up have been waiting for, but it felt like it was wasted by just being thrown in to the end of this World title match that didn't involve either guy.

I've said before that the build-up for the Elgin-Strong rivalry has been one of the best things that ROH has been doing lately and I've been waiting for the kettle to boil over so to speak because you knew it had to happen sooner or later and both guys had been playing their roles well. It would've been nice had it happened during a match that these guys were actually involved where the attention of the crowd was completely focused on them. Besides, Strong's slight seemed minor compared to more blatant things he's done to Elgin in the past for Elgin to suddenly snap now.

My last word on this segment is, solid match with lots of fun spots, and decent lead-in to the next show's main event. Question is, how many potential purchasers will think twice about ordering for fear of encountering the same issues with the streaming?

STEVE CORINO & JIMMY JACOBS def RHETT TITUS & CHARLIE HAAS (Finals of the ROH Tag Team Title tournament)

I would've liked to have seen the two semi-final matches that I assume took place earlier in the card. But it hardly matters because this match was the shits. It literally felt like the crowd was asleep, they were so devoid of any noise whatsoever.

It's understandable. These aren't necessarily high spot teams and that seems to be what ROH's fanbase is used to. I appreciated the unique dynamice of seeing Haas go up against Corino and Jacobs because they're all heels. As interesting as that was however, it couldn't make up for a boring, predictable match.

Jacbos pins Titus after Haas' usual tag team partner, Shelton Benjamin, lays him out with his finisher, Pay Dirt. I'm sure there's some storyline reason that Titus was teaming with Haas in the first place but, what the fuck did he expect??

My last word on this segment is, boring match with a bittersweet payoff. Jacobs & Corino winning the tag belts, along with Steen as World Champion, strengthens their stable's "influence" within the company which could lead to something promising, but all we get out of Titus and Haas teaming together is their already boring feud being perpetuated.

ADAM COLE def. MIKE MONDO (ROH Television Title)

At the start of the match, Mondo gets Cole to agree to a "No Fear" match, which apparently means no time limit and no rules. Fine.

That being the case, Mondo, as the challenger, should've been completely ruthless and relentless. He wasn't. The match ended with Mondo twice pausing instead of stomping Cole in the head, so he could attempt a top rope stomp. Stomp him twice, then go to the top rope, ya asshole! You want to win the fucking title, don't you?!

Long story short, Mondo misses the top rope stomp, which aggravates his wounded knee (see what I did there?), leaving him vulnerable to the champion's Figure Four Leglock. Mondo taps, Cole retains his title.

Apparently another provision of a "No Fear" match is also no game plan because Mondo seemed completely clueless as to how to go about winning a title. For instance, if you're opponent has been working your leg over, do you really want to be attempting a top rope stomp?

Matt Hardy made his ROH debut on commentary and sucked a bag of dicks. Not the best way to bring him in. He was terrible. He confronted Cole after the match, which again, is a nice lead-in but you just got the feeling they could've done so much more with it.

My last word on this segment is, despite the solid action, Mondo's stupidity caused the overall match quality to suffer. Why? Because it made Cole's win almost seem elementary. That being said, much love for the TV Champ finishing people with the oldest of old-school submission holds. Too many great wrestling maneuvers have lost their luster over the years. Nice to see one of them making a comeback.

MICHAEL ELGIN & RODERICK STRONG def. JAKE & DAVE CRIST


The point behind this match was to sell the dissension existing between Elgin and Strong as well as give Elgin some nice power spots.

My problem with it? They just did this for free on their TV show a couple of weeks ago. Why ask fans to pay to see it now? At least have the blow-up that we've been waiting for between these two take place at the end of this match. That would've been a nice way to cap it off.

My last word regarding this segment is, total waste of time. Who gives a shit if the Crists are good workers? They're nobody to me, and I want to pay to watch them wrestle?? Give me somebody I care about instead.

And sadly, that's where the review ends because I was forced to join it "in progress" after waiting NINETY MINUTES for Ring of Honor's pay-per-view stream to work. I would like to have heard what Davey Richards had to say in his return address to the crowd. I also would like to have seen the ROH debut of ACH against one of my favorites, Kyle O'Reilly. Instead, I had to spend my time drafting an email asking ROH for a full refund (which I fully intend to receive because I'll be ding-danged if they're going to be counting MY money!)

I had actually given up on the show until one of my good pals with The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast (my favorite wrestling show by the way), Shining Wizard Matt, practically begged me to give it another chance. He found a creative way to spend his time waiting for the stream to work as well. He wrote his own blog about wrestling promotions and all the ups and downs they encounter with iPPV technology, which you can read by clicking here.

Have to give a shout out to another of my favorites, Tommaso Ciampa, who is currently sidelined with an injury, for providing some comic relief during the lack of a broadcast with some of the things he was posting on his Twitter account as he too, was also in the dark like the rest of us.

My last word about this show is, it's a badly dropped ball and a damn shame. Like I've said before, I want companies like Ring of Honor to succeed, but if they can't provide better than this(better matches, better storylines, better technology), why should I waste my time and money? I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that way. I may give it another try, but they may have lost some potential fans for good.

And that's the last word, ya freaks. Until next time.....discuss!


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