WWE vs UFC: The Missing Piece

WWE vs. UFC, some statistics....

More men watch UFC than WWE, 74.6% to 62.8%
More women watch WWE than UFC, 37.2% to 25.4%
A greater percentage of UFC's audience is Gen Y(18-29) & Gen X(30-44) than WWE, 36.5% & 37.1% to 29.1% & 35.8%
WWE's audience skews older than UFC's (a greater percentage of fans in the 45-64 & 65+ demographics than UFC)
A greater percentage of UFC's fans have attended/graduated from college or completed post-graduate work/degree
Of the 318.9 million people in the United States, 3.7% or 11.7 million are avid WWE fans compared to 5.1% or 16.3 million avid UFC fans.
According to WWE's investor's presentation on their corporate website, the largest percentage of their audience is 50+ years of age (37%) with 19% of their audience ages 2-17.

If you were going to summarize what you just read, you would draw the conclusion that UFC is a more testosterone-driven REAL SPORT that appeals primarily to YOUNG MEN. While WWE, or pro wrestling, is a COSMETIC ATHLETIC DRAMA that appeals to a MORE DIVERSE AUDIENCE.

The personalities and reputations of the people involved are dramatically different. UFC is made of up of ATHLETES. There are very few athletes who do or say anything controversial while carrying out their athletic endeavors. Even the more brash, demonstrative talkers like Chael Sonnen or Conor McGregor don't do much more than puff out their chests like boys in a high school hallway fight when it comes right down to it.

The only controversy that surrounds UFC are the things that take place outside of the performance arena: the PED scandals and Jon Jones' recent legal troubles as examples. Other than that, it's very easy to embrace an ATHLETE because when it comes time to market and promote a UFC event, you know what you're getting: a well-produced, sporting event in which athletes behave themselves by getting in the cage and fighting. It's the final scene of any beloved sports movie: legitimate athletes making the necessary sacrifices in order to achieve their goals. And many of these men and women are Olympians, All-Americans, or national heroes. People who are easy for the public to embrace.

In this way, UFC has virtually erased its auspicious beginnings when it was seen as barbaric and a bloodsport. It has polished its star to the point where it has become something that the public has not only accepted, but embraced.

By contrast, WWE is made up of PERFORMERS. There's a reason more pro wrestlers try ACTING than PROFESSIONAL SPORTS. When a UFC live event starts, you know what to expect: all of the talking is over, and the athletes are going to shut their mouths and compete. In a live WWE event however, you have NO IDEA what to expect. How many shows air live on TV? Not very many. And those that do typically do not have a very long run time and usually follow a very structured format. And almost never do the people responsible for the content of the show become part of the show. WWE Raw is a loosely-formatted three-hour live show that is never rehearsed and the people responsible for the content of the show are regularly part of the show. Do you see the difference?

Any live show is going to be inherently more risky for advertisers than a scripted show. But the risk involved with a WWE live product has to be considered greater by virtue of the nature of the product itself. One of the selling points of UFC is human interest. Fans are encouraged to get to know the athletes, view their story, and connect with them on social media. There are few boundaries when it comes to fan access in UFC. WWE, and wrestling in general, is still a business that is shrouded in mystery. Because the wrestlers are PLAYING A ROLE, there are often aspects of the performers' lives that THEY PURPOSELY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT and will do their best NOT TO MENTION or even TRY TO COVER UP.

Pro wrestling, like UFC, has very auspicious roots. But whereas UFC has been able to shed its early less-favorable reputation, wrestling still maintains that cloud of suspicion that has hung over it since its creation. Pro wrestling has always fought the battle for legitimacy: whether it was trying to pass itself off as a legitimate sport in its early days, or trying to pass itself off as a legitimate big player in entertainment today. And the struggle is centered around the very nature of the business itself. Pro wrestling is and always has been A WORK. Wrestlers are carnival workers trying to get you to spend a dollar on the sideshow exhibit. They're trying to SELL the audience on an ILLUSION. It should go without saying that the UFC is completely different. A UFC fighter can endear himself to his audience by simply BEING HIMSELF. In most cases, a pro wrestler is trying to endear himself to his audience by being SOMEONE ELSE. This very fact alone immediately creates obstacles to fan interaction and therefore, fan investment. WWE is not going to put together a video package on Bray Wyatt's journey to the “big time” and encourage its fans to get to know him. Because that doesn't help to SELL THE ILLUSION. It actually achieves the OPPOSITE. Windham Lawrence Rotunda (Bray Wyatt's real name) might have a very compelling personal story that fans might really enjoy, but the nature of pro wrestling is in direct opposition to WWE sharing that story with its fans.

In this way, pro wrestling finds itself in a unique situation in entertainment. For whatever reason, fans of Breaking Bad can interact with Bryan Cranston at a live event or on social media, and are completely accepting of the fact that they are not interacting with Walter White, Cranston's character on the show. However, fans are less tolerant of the same type of interaction with pro wrestlers. The reason can only be wrestling's insistence on and success at SELLING THE ILLUSION that fans are so much more invested in these characters. For instance, fans are reminded every week when they watch Game of Thrones that they are watching Emilia Clarke PLAYING THE CHARACTER of Daenerys Targaryen. WWE has NEVER told its audience Dolph Ziggler's real name. But if every week during Raw's opening sequence fans read “Starring Nick Nemeth as Dolph Ziggler” this perception might change. While something so simple could help improve fan interaction, would it also SPOIL THE ILLUSION? It doesn't seem to affect the popularity of these other shows. And if pro wrestling is really just another form of entertainment, why not simply follow suit?

It almost seems silly that a million-dollar company like WWE would be failing at expanding its portfolio for no reason other than a misguided determination to hang onto its archaic carny methods of doing business, but right now wrestling seems truly STUCK. While WWE has succeeded in polishing its product to the point of having overdone it, pro wrestling remains a sort of bastard in the entertainment industry. It's not likely that they will try to appeal to the coveted 18-34 year-old demographic by reverting to more risque storylines like they did in the 90s. But if the goal is to be accepted and be invited to sit at the “big kids' table” SOMETHING needs to change. WWE has often set the trends for the wrestling business and for a company so willing to drop certain traditions in the past, it seems odd that it would be one of those very traditions that has them so hung up. It's time to pull the curtain all the way back so to speak, and finally become an open book for the welfare of the entire industry. Right now, they're on the fence and the impression is that they're scared to abandon their “secret society” mentality. But hiding in the shadows has not helped them to achieve their goals. The performers deserve to be recognized as stars and not just nameless, faceless acts in ring leaderVince McMahon's circus. A new level of respectability needs to be achieved not only in the way wrestling presents its product, but in the way it does business with not just the public, but with its performers as well.

Perhaps that is what truly has Vince McMahon afraid. Right now he still wields the power of Oz. But to acknowledge that World Wrestling Entertainment is not merely his genius operation but also the result of the hard work and talent of dozens of highly trained professionals, he's reduced to merely a clever “wizard” with no true magic. Why would a man whose only goal in business has ever been success purposely prevent himself from it? The adage rings true: the only time a man doesn't want money, is when he wants something else. Wrestling fans all wondered why Vince didn't capitalize on the money that could have been made from the WCW Invasion angle or from the resurrection of ECW. Why indeed? It's not hard to piece together the truth and realize that Vince McMahon was after something else: the complete and utter burial of the two brands that dared to challenge him. Even at the expense of making himself more money. If that was true then, is it really a stretch to think that Vince McMahon, who has always had the final say and ultimate control over his product, might purposely be preventing the ONE THING that could help him to achieve his goal of mainstream acceptance of “sports entertainment” for no reason other than it would result in too much leverage for the performers not just in his company, but throughout the professional wrestling industry? Again, its not hard to piece to together.

Handsome Dan Lopez is the host of Handsome Dan's Final Say which you can listen to at wlwstudios.com. Follow him on Twitter @DansLastWord.

PULL UP A CHAIR

This post was inspired by a rather gruesome picture circulating on the internet of a "wrestler" with a replica of the Grand Canyon on top of his head thanks to a chair shot he received during a "wrestling match." In case you haven't seen it, here's a link to the Ring Wars Wrestling Facebook page where you can view it BUT BE WARNED, THE PHOTO IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! It makes me a little nauseous and I'm a wrestling fan of thirty years who has seen a lot.

Anyhow, I figured this was as good a time as any to once again express my disdain for everything that is ECW and hardcore wrestling. I mention ECW specifically because it's the organization that really popularized hardcore wrestling in the United States. Sure, it was around for a long time before ECW was even conceived, in places like Puerto Rico and Memphis, but Extreme Championship Wrestling really took hardcore & high-spot wrestling "mainstream." And professional wrestling has never recovered.

Remember Chris Nowinski? Me neither. Truth is, I wasn't watching wrestling when he started making a push in the WWF in 2002 and 2003. He retired from wrestling at the age of 24 after suffering symptoms of post-concussion syndrome for over a year. After that he devoted himself to raising awareness about the dangers of concussions in contact sports, primarily football, but in wrestling as well.

My question is, since when do wrestlers get concussions? I realize there is a lot of high-impact involved in pro wrestling, especially these days, but when I was growing up, you never heard talk of concussions in wrestling. I'm sure it probably happened, but even when you read biographies of wrestlers who worked in that era or prior, you don't see it mentioned much from them either.

Sure, there was plenty of bloodletting from guys cutting themselves. You read about shoulder, arm, knee, leg, hip, back, and neck injuries. But talk about concussions is sparse. It isn't until the 90's when you start hearing that word become commonplace in discussions about injuries sustained in the ring.

Coincidentally, that's when "raising the bar" became the trendy thing to do. If Twitter had been around then, you probably would've had good ol' JR telling you to use #raisethebar during an episode of Monday Night Raw. But who spearheaded this revolution in which taking unprotected chair shots and integrating more kicks to the head and more high-impact moves that made it harder to protect yourself and your opponent the norm in professional wrestling?

That would be this guy.

I actually think it's hard to say that Paul Heyman is solely responsible. After all, the wrestlers who worked for him were all grown men (with the exception of Mass Transit that is) who chose to participate in this much more dangerous form of entertainment. And the fans certainly have to hold some accountability themselves as well, for relishing in these types of performances. And if it had stopped with them, then I would have a lot less to say about this subject.

The problem is it didn't stop with ECW. ECW closed its doors for good in April 2001. Fourteen years ago(WWE's revival of the brand doesn't count). And yet to this day there are still independent promotions that are trying to build off of that legacy. Wrestlers on every level are dropping like flies due to injury from moves that entered the mainstream of professional wrestling in that damn bingo hall in Philadelphia. Granted, the style of wrestling seen today was going to eventually become the norm anyway thanks to the "hybrid" style that wrestlers developed from working in several different places like Canada, Mexico, Europe, and Japan.

But for all of this flash and all of this risk, what's the true reward? What type of legacy are men like Daniel Bryan really building for themselves? Or how about Sami Zayn or Adrian Neville? Fans today still have great regard for legends of the past like Hulk Hogan, Randy "Macho Man" Savage, The Ultimate Warrior, and Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Did anyone of them take unprotected chair shots? Did any of them dive through the ropes to the arena floor? Will the people who are taking such risks today, either in WWE or for an independent promotion, be remembered in the same way as these legends? If it wasn't the risks they were taking, what was it about these performers that we all remember so fondly?

It was the way they captivated our hearts and our imaginations without resorting to such cheap tricks. I realize they all had their vices, but frankly any idiot can take a chair shot. In fact, if a bunch of out-of-shape hillbillies want to beat the shit out of each other strictly for the amusement of other out-of-shape hillbillies I say more power to them. Next time do the universe a favor and put a little more Oomph! behind that chair shot and finish the job!

But for those who truly have the talent and ability to perform and entertain, I regret that risk will always be part of the job. Thankfully, World Wrestling Entertainment has cracked down on the level of violence it allows. It just isn't necessary in order to tell a story in the ring. Now if only all wrestling promotions, WWE included, can be convinced that it's not so much WHAT takes place during their shows, but WHY. Then perhaps we can enjoy watching our favorites perform a little longer and in ways that will stick with us, not for the random sort of chaos and activity that causes a car wreck to stick with you, but for the sort of creativity, nuance, and ability to tap into the human emotion that cause our favorite stories to forever be etched in our subconscious minds, and bring a smile to our face when we recall them consciously.

Think about those moments that you will never forget and what made them so memorable. Certainly the action is tied to those memories. After all, it's professional wrestling. But I dare say the reason you hold onto those memories goes deeper than that. And that's the greatness of professional wrestling that I'm afraid too often is being substituted for with high spots. And there's not a promotion on ANY level that isn't guilty of this!

So rather than pulling up a chair to split another man's skull with, how about you take a seat and watch the pros of the past do more with glance than you could with a 450 splash?

I'm Handsome Dan, and you just read the last word.

["Handsome" Dan Lopez is a regular contributor to Ring Wars Facebook Page. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord]

Handsome Dan's Final Say

Yes, I realize it's been a while. When I saw that my last post was from back in July of 2013 I couldn't believe it myself.

But the Handsome One is back and he's STILL the Smartest Man Not In Professional Wrestling! [trademark, muthaphuckas!] Want proof? Just click on the link below and listen to me ramble in a drowsy stupor on the long ride home New Year's Eve and marvel how that even at half-speed, my brain is still calculating faster than 90% of the backwards cap wearing masses.

But don't just stop there. Further your education by reading some of the articles here as well, and while they may not make you as smart as me, you might just be able to impress your friends with the wisdom you glean.

So without further ado, I give you...Handsome Dan's Final Say!

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The Greatest Heel Stable In Wrestling History

[Douchey Author's Note: Lofty title, right? But when you tout yourself as The Smartest Man Not In Pro Wrestling (trademark, muthafuckas!), you tend to have to go balls-in or else people just don't take you seriously.]

The inspiration for this post came from considering nWo Wulfpac, the babyface stable that sprung from a "split" in the original nWo. It featured Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger, Konnan, and briefly, Randy Savage. With the exception of Konnan, all big names, all very popular and successful in their own right. The group was certainly over, but in terms of booking, it actually sucked. It made me wonder whether or not a babyface stable could actually succeed in wrestling.

And as usual, when I get to thinking about wrestling, one thought leads to a million others. So as I contemplated the merits of a babyface stable, I started examining the entire purpose of a stable in wrestling. And here, in all it's rawness, is how that played out...

The ultimate benefit to a stable is having someone to watch your back. Heels take it a step further by having someone interfere on their behalf or give them an unfair advantage in a fight. Heel stables get over by exploiting this to the max. The Hart Foundation was probably the best example of heels getting an advantage in such a sneaky, chickenshit way and against such popular faces, that fans actually hated them.

Some heel stables are full of such individually cool characters that they're hard to hate no matter what they do. Like the Four Horsemen. They were dastardly cheats who always took every advantage to beat up on the most popular babyfaces. But besides that they were cool. They could wrestle, they could talk, they were tough, and had a sweet life.

The Hart Foundation on the other hand were hard to like. An Elvis impersonator? Two guys who wear pink and can't win without cheating? A wrestling referee? A little pipsqueak who wears hearts and uses a megaphone? Those are heat magnets. Add all the classic heel stable tactics and you've got a group of assholes you can't wait to see the shit beaten out of.

Any heel stable has to win a little. The degree to which they need to win varies depending on who they're facing. If they're being built up to eventually fall to the top babyface, they should win a lot. On the other hand, if all they do is lose, they're just a comedy group. Buffoons who can't even cheat well. That has its place in the show but can't be taken seriously.

Like 3MB. The odds are in their favor every single time and they still lose. But that could be turned around. Give them a manager and either a "roadie" or a bodyguard and you could have a very successful, hateable group.

The last five paragraphs were my unedited hand-written notes on this topic. Just to expound a bit, I'd like to say that The Hart Foundation of 1987 was the greatest heel group of all time. Bold proclamation I know. But by "greatest" I want to make it clear that I don't mean "most successful" or "best" but then again, I do. What I mean is, if the purpose behind heels banding together and forming a stable in the first place is making it work to their advantage to achieve success in spite of their own limitations or the level of competition they're up against, then the Hart Foundation of 1987 did it the best, was the most successful, drew the most legitimate heat, against the best babyface competition, and therefore, was the greatest heel stable of all time.

I'm sure the arguments contrary to my point of view will be many and varied: no longevity, no world titles, not enough individually great wrestlers, not enough main events, etc, etc. Allow me to squash every single one of those in order: longevity hurt the Horsemen more than it helped them, a lack of world titles doesn't mean shit, a lack of individually great wrestlers actually lends to the greatness of the stable, the Honky Tonk Man headlined plenty of shows at his hottest, and just for shits and giggles, let me also throw in the fact that when it came time to form the Mega Powers, the evil force that brought them together was the Hart Foundation, not the Heenan Family nor any other top heel working at the time.

I haven't seen everything, nor do I claim to know everything. I'm sure someone could come up with another example of a heel stable, something I haven't seen perhaps, that might also fit this definition of "great". That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying if there is a measuring stick for the right kind of success for a heel stable, the Hart Foundation is it.

Heels getting cheered has always been a thing in wrestling. And I'm sure it always will be. I'm probably the biggest offender when it comes to cheering the bad guys. But I love the kind of heels that nobody likes. To me, that is the most successful kind of heel. And every single member of the Hart Foundation was that kind of heel.

Bret Hart was the coolest of the group but in 1987, he was downright mean. He joined in with Honky Tonk Man and the rest of crew in threatening Elizabeth and mocking her when HTM violently knocked her to ground. The way he would cheat at every opportunity and pal up to Danny Davis, the despicable corrupt referee, there's no way anyone could like this guy! And credit "Mean" Gene Okerlund who sold "Hitman" and "The Anvil" as a couple of sick individuals. He'd play along with Honky Tonk Man's routine, but when it came to the Harts, he was always appalled by their actions, even once throwing down the mic and walking out on an interview with them. Great stuff!

It all lead exactly where it was supposed to lead. To the two most popular babyfaces in the company teaming up to wreak havoc on the whole bunch. I swear, my television set was shaking after Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage cleaned house of the entire bunch and then shook hands. I've heard a lot of ovations in my time as a wrestling fan, but that one, which wasn't even live, seemed like it shook the fucking arena!

Does the overness of Hogan and Savage deserve the credit for that? Certainly. But the crowd had been effectively worked into such a frenzy that it was ready to explode and THAT is thanks to the despicable actions of greatest heel stable of all time.

Point is, I love wrestling. And great booking, great psychology, deserves to be recognized. It's a fucking tragedy when the spotlight shines on others while sheer genius seems to go almost completely unrecognized [I experience it every time I post a new blog and no one comments on it. But I digress...].

When it comes to the Hart Foundation, it seems like there's always something getting in the way of them receiving the credit that they're due. Mention what a great manager Jimmy Hart was (the greatest of all time in my opinion, but that's an entirely different post), and right away someone has to bring up that Bobby Heenan was better. And of course, they just happened to work for the same company at the same time, both as heels. But when the Heenan Family started winning multiple titles in 1989 and 1990, it was like everyone forgot that the Hart Foundation had already done it.

Speaking of the Hart Foundation, mention them as a tag team, and while they may get some accolades, fans usally have more regard for The innovations of the British Bulldogs, or the legacy of Demolition, or the fact that the Rockers were never tag champs. Or they care more about Bret's singles career. And while I agree that the Hart Foundation just as a tag team, especially as babyfaces, wasn't the most exciting. But as a part of Jimmy Hart's stable, they played their roles to absolute perfection.

And the Honky Tonk Man. Mention him and it's either he didn't deserve to beat Ricky Steamboat or his quick loss to The Ultimate Warrior. Sure, everyone remembers that he's the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of all time, but his feud with Savage is hardly ever mentioned among the greatest feuds in history when it was possibly the greatest feud Savage ever had. It seems like he's easy to dismiss because of his limited ring skills but last I checked drawing heat as a heel is a skill too and Honky Tonk was exceptional at it. His limited ability was one of the big reasons he was so hated. Macho Man should've wrestled circles around this clown but for all his efforts, he couldn't rest that I-C title away. And it wasn't just the interference of Jimmy Hart that helped hold on to the title, it was the mind games Honky Tonk played with Savage concerning Elizabeth. Yet no one ever acknowledges that.

And don't even get me started on this guy.

Just look at him. You can tell he's a fucking asshole. The fact he couldn't wrestle for shit made the success of the entire stable even more infuriating. He wasn't tough or talented, just a slimy piece of shit sneaking around just waiting to screw the good guys over. It doesn't get more heel than that!

Every individual has a role that they play in wrestling. And so does every stable. Not every stable is going to be the same. If that was the case then there would be no separation between the great ones and the mediocre. But I'm afraid a real oversight has taken place and is ongoing to this day with regard to the Hart Foundation. So it's my hope that if nothing else, this post will not only awaken you assholes to MY greatness as The Smartest Man Not In Pro Wrestling [Son!], but also give you pause next time one of those all-time discussions gets started on the Facebook, Twitter, or even sitting around the house with your pals and you won't be so quick to overlook The Greatest Heel Stable in Wrestling History.

Now THAT'S the Last Word. I'm out.

{"Handsome" Dan's ghetto ass is without a computer right now, but as soon as that situation is corrected look for more of his musings on Wrestling Rambles, Ring Wars Facebook page, and he's mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Both of which you can find at swn.shiningwizards.com.}

WWE Suffering From Severe Memory Loss

As of WrestleMania XXIX, WWE featured a roster of 64 male workers. Subtract the 5 part-timers (Chris Jericho, The Rock, Triple H, Undertaker, and Brock Lesnar) and you're left with 59. Subtract the 2 non-wrestlers (Hornswoggle and Ricardo Rodriguez) and you're left with 57.

Of those 57 male wrestlers, 19 were involved in matches at WrestleMania XXIX. Add the 4 (Brodus Clay, Tensai, Cody Rhodes, and Damien Sandow)that were originally scheduled to have a match and that gives you 22.

So 22 of 57, or 38% of the current regular roster of male workers was doing anything noteworthy or of any interest at the time of WrestleMania XXIX.

[Author's Note: I'm using the WWF roster from the time of Survivor Series 1988 because that's when I was the most familiar with the entire depth of the roster]

By contrast, going into the 1988 Survivor Series event, of the 50 male workers on the regular roster, 28 were involved in some type of program, angle, or feud.

That's 28 of 50, or 56%.

Pretty significant difference, right? Even more so when you consider these numbers:

WWE currently offers 6.5 hours (7.5 if you count NXT; I'm not only because viewers have to pay for a subscription to Hulu Plus in order to watch it)of programming every week on free TV.

All current WWE tv shows feature original programming. Yes, there are replays galore from other shows, but they are built around original content: matches, promos, & backstage segments.

By contrast, the WWF in 1988 offered only 5 hours of programming every week on free TV.

The shows offered by the WWF in 1988 were made up mostly of matches and segments that were re-aired from other shows and very little original content to the point that I as a ten year-old fan didn't even watch All-American Wrestling or Wrestling Spotlight because I knew I wasn't going to see anything I hadn't already seen before.

Yet the WWF in 1988 was able to generate interest in a greater percentage of the regular roster of male workers than WWE has today despite more tv time and more original content. By a whopping 18%! How is that possible?

4 reasons. That we'll see as we examine the differences between the TV shows WWF offered in 1988 and those offered by WWE today:

1) They Utilized More of the Talent. Makes sense, right? You use more of your roster, fans care about more of your roster. In a regular WWF programming week, you were more likely to see Hercules or Koko B. Ware wrestle than Hulk Hogan or Andre the Giant.

2) They Utilized Tag Teams. Bit players like The Barbarian, The Warlord, Barry Darsow (Smash of Demolition), Raymond Rougeau, and Jim Neidhart, guys who would never do anything particularly interesting in their singles careers, fans could appreciate and become invested in because they were part of an entertaining, competitive tag team division (More on that later).



3) They Utilzed Squash Matches. Wrestlers at every stage of their career, whether veterans whose best days were behind them like Harley Race, Ken Patera, Tito Santana, or Greg Valentine, as well as rising stars who had not yet peaked like Curt Hennig, The Blue Blazer, or Big Bossman, could always look impressive and maintain a certain amount of respect in the eyes of fans by mowing down local jobbers on TV week-in and week-out. Despite the match not being competitive, it still captured my imagination as a fan because it was a glimpse into the character's persona and moveset. Squash matches showed fans how good a WWF Superstar could be. And it would whet their anticipation for the big encounter between that Superstar and their arch-rival, or for the time when that Superstar moved up in competition. It would spark the imagination and get fans thinking up dream matches and wondering, "What would happen if Mr. Perfect met The Blue Blazer?" or, "I can't wait to see Demolition finally matched up against The Powers of Pain!" That's excitement. That's fan interest. And it was created by squash matches.

4) They Utilized a Good Mix. I'll admit, as much as I appreciated a good squash, it was also nice to see the occasional competitive match. And the WWF, at least in 1988, smartly balanced their programming by offering midcard, lower midcard, and tag team matches between members of the regular roster as either the "Feature Match" of their syndicated shows, or sprinkled throughout Prime Time Wrestling (my personal favorite). So you never went too long without seeing The Rockers vs. The Conquistadors, The Red Rooster vs. Ken Patera, or Curt Hennig vs. Jim Brunzell. They may not have been "dream matches" but they were more competitive than squash matches and highly entertaining. And you appreciated them as a "rare treat" because it wasn't something you saw all the time.

By contrast, in weekly WWE programming today:

1) They Utilize the Same Talent Over and Over. You could probably count on both hands the workers you see on WWE programming every week. If fans never see Alex Riley, Justin Gabriel, Ted DiBiase Jr., Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu, Curt Hawkins, JTG, or Michael McGillicuty, how are they supposed to care about them?



2) They Under-utilize Tag Teams. The only real tag team WWE has is Team Hell No. Only recently have the teams of Rhodes Scholars and Brodus Clay & Tensai been taken seriously. Other recognize tag teams are either glorified jobbers getting squashed every week (The Prime Time Players and Primo & Epico), or are never seen (Jimmy & Jey Uso).

3) Superstars Get Squashed. WWE still utilizes squash matches. But now, it's the workers on the regular roster getting squashed by the upper card guys and losing all their credibility.

4) The Same Match-ups Occur Over and Over. Without jobbers to squash, mid and lower card guys have to do the job every week. This makes match-ups between members of the regular roster commonplace instead of a rare treat. Also, the upper card guys are on TV and wrestling each other every week making what should be marquee matches that generate lots of excitement and pay-per-view revenue, into everyday occurances that are regarded as no big deal.



WWE is making plenty of money. Because they have more to sell now than ever before. But television ratings indicate that the public's interest in their TV shows has waned. I realize ratings aren't as critical as they used to be. Vince is no longer selling his TV show. He's selling his brand. And now that WWE is the only game in town as far as wrestling goes, he's always going to have an audience.

But at what cost? There's an underlying tragedy in all of this and it's not just that the fans aren't being entertained as well as they could be.

Fans who grew up watching wrestling the same time I did have fond memories of the things they saw despite the fact that there were no part-timers. They didn't need big names from the past coming back just to get them to buy a pay-per-view. They cared about the current roster. They cared about the entire roster, from the midcard all the way down to glorified jobbers like Sam Houston, Koko B. Ware, and "Dangerous" Danny Davis.



And they cared about tag teams. This is where the tragedy really lies.

Are WWE and its fans really missing anything by not getting a greater percentage of the current roster more involved in meaningful storylines?

The answer is yes.

Consider, two men who would become the WWF's biggest stars, Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart, were members of mid-level tag teams in 1988. Sure, the Hart Foundation had won the tag team titles by then but their reign was brief and unremarkable. There was no guarantee that they'd ever win the belts again. Sure no one suspected at that time what Bret would become.

Same with Shawn. The Rockers never won the tag titles. I'm sure some within the organization thought he had a singles future, but certainly not to the degree that he eventually achieved.

The point is, these men had the opportunity to show glimpses of what they could do because of tag teams. Fans had the opportunity to invest in them emotionally because of tag teams.

So when it was time for Bret to challenge Curt Hennig for the Intercontinental title, the fans were already behind him. When Shawn Michaels threw his longtime partner Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window, fans were in utter disbelief. These two guys were able to hit the ground running as singles performers thanks to the time they spent working in tag teams.



Imagine if both had worked strictly singles from the time they entered the WWF. It took Bret six years before he began a successful singles run. For Shawn it took four years. That's longer than the entire tenure of some midcarders. Perhaps they would've stuck. But what if they hadn't? There would be none of the accomplishments, the great matches, or the memories.

Who knows what accomplishments, what matches, what memories WWE and its fans could be experiencing right now or even five years from now but never will because of World Wrestling Entertainment's current disregard for tag team wrestling?

The cynic may say, "Ah, who cares about a Zack Ryder, or a Ted DiBiase, or a Michael McGillicuty? They aren't anything great." The same could've easily been said about a couple of guys in 1988. "Bret Hart? Yeah, he's good but he'll never be World Champion. He's just not charismatic enough." "Shawn Michaels? That long-haired pretty boy from that sissy tag team?" Yeah, that Shawn Michaels. Believe it or not, he's going to become the greatest wrestler of all-time. "No fucking way!"



What would you have said?

Who will take up the mantle of "the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be"? Who will be the next "Showstopper" or "Mr. WrestleMania"? Or is the question rather, "Who could it have been?"



Sadly, we may never know.

And that's the last word for now. Don't let the chance to make your mark pass you by. Leave a comment, then tell your friends to come check out what you had to say.

[You can read more of "Handsome" Dan's work on the Ring Wars Facebook Page. He also writes a weekly review of WWE Smackdown for Wrestling Rambles and is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast and Turnbuckle Throwbacks.]

SMH! The Lamest Moments in Wrestling History

We've all been there. You're flipping through the channels as a kid and you come across this bizarre spectacle known as professional wrestling. And for some cosmic reason that no one can explain, you find yourself unable to look away. You're officially hooked. Now, the people around you, family, maybe even friends, don't understand your obsession but that doesn't stop you from defending your newfound love at every opportunity.

And then it happens. It's Saturday morning and there you are minding your own business. You've just poured yourself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and sat down to watch Superstars of Wrestling when something takes place on your tv that causes a momentary disconnect from your soul and the thing you love and you find yourself powerless to resist that all too human of instincts, shaking your head. For not even you, with all your diehard love of pro wrestling can justify what you've just witnessed. And if that weren't bad enough, that's the exact moment your infidel loved ones decide to walk into the room! Now they're shaking their heads too and you're doing everything you can not to make eye contact.

How do I know this story so well? Because I've been there too. So join me as we relive the pain of the Lamest Moments in Wrestling History.

The following moment was what inspired the idea for this post so I feel it fitting we start with...

THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR - HULK HOGAN FEUD

This video features the contract signing to end all contract signings and probably marks the beginning of the end of my first phase of dedicated wrestling fandom.



If you've seen it before or are seeing it for the first time, even a ten year-old would have to admit it's just plain ridiculous. And that's why now that I think about it, the title of this post couldn't be more appropriate because it is virtually impossible to watch this crap and not shake your head in utter disbelief at how tragically bad it is!

Did this contract signing or the promos by Warrior leading up to the big match (which were just as bad. Don't believe me? Watch this video.) kill my enthusiasm for the rivalry? Almost. But the truth is, I didn't need the contract signing, or Warrior's promos to sell me on the idea of the two biggest stars in wrestling at the time, two unbeatable babyfaces, the top two champions, in an epic showdown at wrestling's biggest event of the year. DUH! Of course any wrestling fan's going to want to see that!



I was twelve when this all went down and even though I was old enough to know that wrestling was "fake," I could still get excited about big match-ups like this because they didn't happen all the time. Imagine trying to sell this today? Anyone mind if I ramble a little here?

Take the elements that made Hogan vs. Warrior I such a huge draw and apply them to today's WWE landscape and here's what you get:

Wrestling's two biggest stars: Hogan and Warrior were both members of the regular roster at the time and worked house shows so The Rock and Undertaker would immediately be disqualified. Obviously, one of the participants would have to be John Cena. But who would the other one be? Randy Orton? Ryback? I'm going to say Ryback only because he started to really pick up steam while challenging for CM Punk's WWE Title around the time of Survivor Series and that's usually when the seeds for the main event of WrestleMania are planted. Orton probably gets bigger pops and moves more merch but Ryback has a lot of the intangibles to be a big star.

Two unbeatable babyfaces: This certainly applies to Cena, who hasn't lost clean since what, 2005? No, his loss to The Rock doesn't count. That's simply an anomaly. Like Halley's comet or something. Ryback has yet to be cleanly beaten, unless you count his loss to the Shielld in the six man tag match at Elimination Chamber. At least as a singles competitor, he's not lost fairly.

The top two champions: Here's where the water get a little murky. Back in the day, they would put a belt on a guy because he was over. These days, I'm not exactly sure why they put belts on people. I would say it's because they're over, like in the case of Antonio Cesaro, who's talent cannot be questioned or suppressed. However, since winning the United States Championship, he's lost more than he ever did without it. So it would almost seem like getting over and getting the title has actually hurt him. Whereas, when it came to the Ultimate Warrior, he clearly had a path laid out before him that stretched from his debut all the way to the WWF Championship and the Intercontinental Title was just a stop along the way. There was no stopping of his momentum.

I realize it's a different era, and actually, the secondary singles championships have been so devalued that they would hardly matter in a marquee match-up like this, but it would be nice if Ryback had won the I-C title and successfully defended it until the big showdown between himself and John Cena at WrestleMania.

It seems hard to believe, but when broken down like this, you can see how a big match like this is actually plausible in the current WWE. Nevertheless, that's not what we're getting. At least not this year. Would it be on the same level as Warrior vs. Hogan? Hard to say. It would all depend on the build-up. I would say with all certainty that the promos would be better. I'd even say with absolute confidence that the match itself would be better. Damn, the more I entertain the thought, the more I regret that WWE didn't have the foresight to make John Cena vs. Ryback happen but oh well. I guess they figure, there's always next year, right?

SWEET SAPPHIRE! POLKA DOTS, IF YOU WILL...

When Dusty Rhodes first debuted in the WWF his attire consisted mostly of a tie-dyed shirt and jeans. Fine. He may be grossly out of shape, but he's Dusty Freaking Rhodes. Even as someone who never got to watch him because I was grew up on the wrong side of the country, I knew who he was and even though he was doing some rather silly "Common Man" skits, I could still take him seriously.

But then...



Alright, not the worst wardrobe change. I mean, polka dots are fun, right? As long as "The Dream" gets in there and takes care of business, I can ignore those Power Pellets that he's got all over him.

Until...



The fuck?? Believe it or not, this picture only tells part of the tale. Not only did these two heftys wear matching dots, but they put them suckers in motion! Observe...but be warned, this video is not for the faint of heart.

Incredible as it may seem, because he's Dusty Freaking Rhodes and possessing of otherworldly charisma, the man made this work. That is, until Vince McMahon decided the only way to truly bury "The American Dream" once and for all was to simply, bury him. So he went on a losing streak the likes of which are reserved these days for anyone wearing a championship belt not named Dwayne or Alberto.

There is so much more to say on this subject, and fear not, for I will revisit this topic very, very soon. But seeing as how it is now almost 4am and I'm supposed to report to work in three hours, this is where this post ends. So for now I suggest you take what I've given you and....DISCUSS!

["Handsome" Dan Lopez, The Smartest Man Not In Pro Wrestling is a regular contributor to WrestlingRambles.com. He is also a regular mention on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.]

All The Rage

If you're a regular reader, you know I have a tendency to defend World Wrestling Entertainment's methods as reasonable based on the fact that they are in the BUSINESS of MAKING MONEY through ENTERTAINMENT.

However, I want to make it clear that while I understand why WWE does things the way they do, I believer that there are indeed BETTER WAYS to accomplish the same goal of MAKING MONEY.

That paragraph is going to be the most important one in this entire post so if you're going to get halfway through this and forget what I just said, you might as well stop reading now. It is important that you understand that I am not simply a MARK who thinks WWE should book their product based on whatever I or anyone else thinks would be "cool." I realize the goal in all of this is to MAKE MONEY. I'm not suggesting otherwise. However, what I am about to suggest is that perhaps actually booking what fans like myself think would be "cool" might just be the BEST way to do that.

Clearly, WWE is trying to find their next "Next Big Thing." You can't say they haven't turned over their share of rocks looking for it. They're tweeting and touting and tubing right along with the rest of society. They're making movies and having movie stars as guest hosts. They're even giving one a title shot! They're boasting more original programming on tv now than they ever have before.

And yet, you listen to the people who used to come out in droves to sit and cheer as teens and young adults during the "Attitude Era" or stayed up late to watch Saturday Night's Main Event as kids, people like myself, and the consensus seems to be, the mainstream product has lost its appeal.

I'm not saying the current product doesn't still have an audience. There are over four million people watching Raw every week. Four million. And here I have the audacity to suggest that they could do better??

You betcha.

WWE has always had this audience. These are the lemmings who are simply out to have a good time at the Vince McMahon's dog and pony show. If that's you, no offense but you're probably not reading this anyway. But these are the rank-and-file members of the "WWE Universe" who are essentially marks that root for the "good guys" and boo the "bad guys." If you've ever had a conversation with one of these people you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Not that they don't have their place in society. The product needs people like them because they're always going to be there no matter what. I think the closest WWE ever got to alienating this particular type of fan was during the aforementioned "Attitude Era" when the raunch factor really got turned up and families with young kids began to turn away.

I believe that was bad business then and I believe it's bad business now. Wrestling doesn't need to be raunchy to be good. Not that it can't be. The occasional character who swears and flips people off, when done at the right time and for the right reason, can become a real money maker (i.e. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin). But that doesn't need to be, nor should it be, the norm.

So what should be the norm on a professional wrestling show? Brace yourselves. How about wrestling?

For all the tv time WWE is currently filling, there's an awful lot of filler and not nearly as much wrestling as there could be.

Before you try and come at me with statistics that suggest most of the actual show time is wrestling, understand that such statistics can be misleading, especially when you realize that the average match time is about five minutes (see PWInsider's "By The Numbers").

Now that we've gotten all the potential arguments out of the way, let's look at how I believe WWE could improve their bottom line by answering three simple questions: WHY, WHEN, and WHO?

WHY should WWE make wrestling more of a focal point?

In a recent Facebook conversation I had, someone made a point that WWE's most prosperous eras were defined by the appetites of their audience. During the Hulkamania days, larger-than-life action heroes like Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Van Damme were the rage. Then, in the Attitude Era, society in general had developed its own attitude and tv had become edgier across the board. Whether by accident, or by having their finger on the pulse, WWE was able to capitalize on these societal trends.

A "trend" of similar lucrativeness has yet to be identified in today's society. For all the widespread influence of social media, an effective way to make money with things like Facebook and Twitter, has yet to be found.

But there is a less obvious trend developing in the world of independent wrestling. The indys are making a quiet but steady resurgence with groups like Beyond Wrestling making an impact via YouTube, and Pro Wrestling Syndicate using Twitter and stacked lineups for their regular house shows featuring a touch of nostalgia with names of the past as well as thrilling action provided by a fresh crop of young talent. Longer-tenured groups like Ring of Honor, CHIKARA, Dragon Gate USA and Evolve, Combat Zone Wrestling, and East Coast Wrestling Association are still going strong. And upstarts paying homage to the glory days of Extreme Championship Wrestling, Shane Douglas' Extreme Reunion and Tommy Dreamer's House of Hardcore have quickly garnered a significant following.

The point is, despite what seems like an oversaturation of independent wrestling promotions, interest in hasn't waned. It has in fact, grown. Which can only mean one thing: people want to watch wrestling, and are willing to pay money to do so.

That's why WWE exists, isn't it? Is the goal not to make money? Does the second "W" not still stand for Wrestling?

The fact is, fans of professional wrestling, even those who have given up on the current mainstream product, still consider WWE to be the premier wrestling company. They would love to go to WWE for their fix, but they know they're more likely to walk away frustrated rather than fulfilled because of how little actual wrestling they're going to be fed.

So they choose to do something else with their time rather than tune in when WWE is on television. They chose to stay home when a WWE house show comes to town. They're not opening their wallets when WWE is on pay-per-view.

But these same people, these WRESTLING FANS, are spending money on DVDs, tickets, even merchandise, for often more than one of the independent wrestling promotions I've listed above.

That's money WWE isn't making. Seems to me, someone has lost sight of the goal. It's not like I'm asking a movie studio to go after those dollars. Or a ballet troupe. I'm talking about a fucking wrestling company providing what wrestling fans are ALREADY PAYING FOR!

And that is WHY WWE can improve their bottom line by making wrestling more of a focal point. Next question.

WHEN should WWE make wrestling more of a focal point?

How about during their eight and half hours of programming they're running every week? Not that wrestling isn't taking place on these shows (and I'll admit, not so much a problem on Main Event and NXT from what I understand; I'll confess, I rarely watch those shows because I just ain't got that kind of time. WWE better count themselves lucky if they get three hours out of me for Raw!). It's just the quality of wrestling that they're offering.

Even the most jaded fan will have to admit that the action, when it's there, is as good, if not better, than it's ever been. Athletes today, not hindered by a lack of athleticism as well as steroid and drug abuse, are able to perform at a significantly higher level than our heroes of the past.

But when the booking is illogical, or just plain stupid, it cancels out the athleticism that we fans might normally marvel at. Blame Super Cena kicking out of everything short of a ground zero nuclear detonation, and one and a half minute matches featuring "champions" for the current disdain among wrestling fans for WWE's in-ring "action."

So rather than try to cram seven matches onto an hour and half show (Raw's approximate running time minus commercials) to the point that five of them end up timing out at five minutes or less, how about instead, give us three or four matches that are booked logically and given enough time to tell a complete story. I realize this isn't true of every fan, but there are still plenty of paying customers out there who are still willing, yay eager, to sit through an intelligently-crafted wrestling match, appreciate it, applaud it, and fork out money to see it again.

And that is WHEN WWE should make wrestling more of a focal point. Final question.

WHO should WWE use to make wrestling more of a focal point?

How about the talented individuals ALREADY ON THE ROSTER?

Since the same people are being used in every main event on every fucking show, the rest of the roster is forced to accept whatever crumbs are left over. These crumbs manifest themselves in the form of those detestable one and a half minute matches mentioned earlier.

The extent of what someone like Daniel Bryan can do inside a wrestling ring, cannot be expressed in one and a half minutes. With the exception of Khali and Hornswoggle, who no one wants to see anyway, there isn't a Superstar on WWE's roster than can exhaust their repertoire in one and a half minutes.

So since we're now cutting down on the number of matches per show, how about we also cut down on the number of appearances by the same people per show, per week?

Here's how it SHOULD work: if I've seen Damien Sandow on Raw that week, I shouldn't see him on Main Event that week. Nor should I see him on Superstars, Smackdown, or Slam. I shouldn't even see him on NXT.

Why? Because when I do, that means I'm most likely going to see him winning and losing matches arbitrarily, and I'm going to start not caring about Damien Sandow.

*******Break out your calculators, boys and girls, because it's time for Fun With Numbers! YAY!!!******

There are currently 64 male wrestlers and 10 female wrestlers who are part of WWE's regular roster. If WWE's weekly programming (all of it; not just Raw and Smackdown) were to feature nothing but in-ring wrestling and each match was to average approximately ten minutes bell-to-bell not including intros, that would amount to approximately 25 matches per week. If those were all singles matches, even using different wrestlers in every match, that would still leave over a dozen members of the regular roster without a match for that week.

The point is, there are more than enough bodies to put in the ring. PUT THEM IN THE FUCKING RING!!! Cycling through the talent would keep appearances by the top talent to a minimum, saving their bodies some wear and tear, and making the times that they do appear more significant. And it would also give the midcard and lower-level guys much needed exposure and experience. "Mini-feuds" between lower-level wrestlers have traditionally always been a great way to build a following for those performers.

Say WWE considers CM Punk, John Cena, The Rock, Sheamus, Randy Orton, Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, and Ryback their main eventers. Fine, feature them in the main events of the weekly shows but only once per week. So in other words, if the main event of Raw is John Cena vs. ADR, the main event of Smackdown can't be a tag match featuring ADR or John Cena.

Instead, how about someone like R-Truth working a midcard program with 3MB? Or the tag team of Santino and Zack Ryder (back when they were still a thing) working a program with Rhodes Scholars? Wrestling fans remember good matches. Put those four guys in the ring and give them some time and fans are going to be talking about the match. Fans talking creates buzz, and buzz results in more people tuning in, which results in more people ordering pay-per-views, buying tickets, buying merch, etc., etc., and yeah I know, I'm sick of me always being right too!

And THAT, my friends, is WHO WWE should use to make wrestling the focal point.

So while WWE is wasting their time trying to answer the question of "What's the next big thing that's going to be all the rage?" I've answered the much more important questions. The questions that matter.

WWE need look no further than the wrestling fans to find "all the rage." But the "rage" is in their hearts, built up over years of frustration with the mainstream product. If WWE will just take the time to look, they won't find some hot new social trend. What they'll find is the same thing that's been there all along. The same thing that has worked before and will always work. Satisfy the WHY, WHEN, and WHO that the people want. The people want WRESTLING.

And whether World Wrestling Entertainment likes it or not, THAT is the Last Word. Until next time, ya freaks.............DISCUSS!

[Our intrepid author, "Handsome" Dan Lopez, is mentioned regularly on his two favorite wrestling shows, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, and Turnbuckle Throwbacks. Follow him on Twitter, @DansLastWord.]