My boys, the Shining Wizards, of Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast fame; check them out at www.shiningwizards.com got a pretty good convo going on their Facebook page www.facebook.com/shiningwizards about the state of the wrestling business today, particularly WWE. I was going to respond to it, but the more I wrote, the more I wrote. So rather than blow up their Wall, I decided to post my thoughts here.
The funny thing is, I don't think casual fans who care to see the Rock or Brock Lesnar are going to tune in to Raw or Smackdown for the following reasons:
-There are so many shows on tv now and most people don't watch them when they air. I never do. First showings of anything I care to see, I always have to DVR and watch later. So if you've got a DVR full of things to watch, unless you're a diehard wrestling fan, are you really going to spend what little time you have getting caught up on the WWE? Unless something really makes headlines, most casual fans aren't going to care.
-Another reason casual fans don't care enough to watch wrestling every week, the shows are TERRIBLE! Bringing in these returning guys is a great gimmick that could really be used to increase viewership but if I didn't love wrestling and tuned in just to see Dwayne Johnson or Brock, I'd say, "What the hell is THIS crap??" and change the channel!
Clearly, the Rock produced pay per view buyrates for WrestleMania but with the economy the way it is, that's one of the few shows casual fans are going to shell out for because everyone still regards WrestleMania as a big deal, even if they don't watch wrestling on a regular basis.
I don't think Brock is going to help pay per view numbers. Maybe for Extreme Rules, but casual fans aren't going to keep shelling out $60 every freaking month just to see Brock Lesnar fake fighting, especially when NOTHING on the rest of the card gets them hooked.
The WWE has its fanbase which consists of probably mostly kids and a few diehard adults who are wrestling fans but I don't see that fanbase growing at all. In fact, I could easily see it shrinking, just like it has for the past several years. The numbers are down across the board, pay per view buys (with the exception of this year's WrestleMania), viewership of their weekly tv shows, ticket sales, merchandise sales, etc, etc.
Now we get to the title of this post. THE TIME IS NOW for a renegade promotion to step up and revolutionize the business the way ECW did in the mid 90's. Independent wrestling promotions are springing up all over the country and any one of them could hit on the right mix of talent, creativity, cultural relevance, and savvy promotional strategy to enjoy that same type of success.
World Wrestling Entertainment is what it is. And without competition, a rival pressing them to think outside the box, and forcing them to listen to their fans (#YesYesYes) who are perfectly capable of making up their own minds about what constitutes ENTERTAINMENT, things are not going to change.
Which is why I say THE TIME IS NOW! Dedicated fans of the art of professional wrestling like myself, and most likely you if you've chosen to read this blog, are clamoring for something MORE. From there it becomes a simple case of supply and demand.
Demand is in abundance, now we're just waiting on the supply.
THE TIME IS NOW.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Hulk Hogan's "Impact Zone"
It's a little dated but here's my review form Impact Wrestling on Spike TV for Thursday, April 5th.
SEGMENT 1. We're treated to a 10-minute Hogan lovefest that was basically just to set up the card for tonight's show. My solution: Have Tenay and Taz allude to Hogan "shaking things up" since taking over as the GM, give the rundown, and start the first match.
SEGMENT 2. First half of Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle. It was an okay match but my question is, AGAIN??
SEGMENT 3. Second half of Hardy-Angle. A clean win by Angle would've been nice but maybe the fact that he lost means he's going over at Lockdown. My point is, Who cares? It's basically more WCW-style booking in which the same old guys wrestle the same old guys. Not only are these guys old (not that they're bad workers, but they're definitely on the downside), but they're unreliable. Why build a featured pay-per-view match around them? At least have them work with younger, more reliable talent as a way of building stars of the future! There was some backstage stuff between Hogan and Angle, Ric Flair calling Eric Bischoff, and a promo by Bully Ray against Austin Aries. So far, two of the three segments we've had have featured Hogan and Flair. Bully Ray's promo was fine.
SEGMENT 4. Bully Ray has an in-ring confrontation with Austin Aries and just no-sells about fifty punches to the head. It's obvious Aries is smaller than Bully Ray, but constantly referring to it, is NOT the way to build Aries up as one of the "regular" guys. They need to take a cue from the WWE, when they were building up Shawn Michaels, even when he was matched up with giants like Undertaker, Kevin Nash, and Sid, they NEVER pointed out the size differential. They'd promote the size and strength of the giant but never how much smaller Shawn was. As much as I'm glad Aries is getting a push, I'm afraid in the long run, it's not going to advance his career much, especially if Bully Ray continues not selling for him. Abyss' "brother" had a backstage segment. Not a fan but glad he's finally gotten a gimmick change. Maybe it pays off.
SEGMENT 5. AJ Styles and James Storm decide to have a match and there just happens to be time for it? Since when do wrestlers decide to just go out and have a match? Why did this whole backstage conversation have to happen? Just have the match announced at the beginning of the show and put this time to better use! Speaking of time wasted, the Knockouts involved in the 6-way challenge all get separate introductions. I like intros in multiple-wrestler matches like this...but it's Impact Wrestling's ghetto intros...and it's the Knockouts. Who cares? This whole segment could've gone to something else.
SEGMENT 6. Knockouts have a 6-way, which at first sounds appealing but when you realize they were wrestling, it become much less so. The worst wrestler of the six (and that's saying something) ends up winning. I realize that the Knockouts have their place, but when they're given this much time, and most of them are just terrible in the ring, and you have talented workers on the roster who aren't on tv, something's wrong. Bobby Roode and his security team have a backstage segment with Mr. Anderson, who I used to think was good enough to be a "face of the company" type guy, but he's lost some of his "mojo" in my opinion. It may be the result of his bass ackwards booking and not having anything meaningful to do, but he really laid an egg in this segment.
SEGMENT 7. James Storm and Jeff Hardy hanging out at some country music awards show. I applaud this because it's the kind of thing WWE would do. Anytime one of their Superstars participates in type of event beyond wrestling, the WWE is all over it which is smart because it's good exposure. So hopefully, Impact Wrestling has gotten the hint and the trend will continue. Eric Young's bachelor party was epically bad. I think the guy's a good worker and definitely has charisma, but he's gone through so many incarnations that it's just time to move on. It wasn't funny. It was just embarrassingly awful.
SEGMENT 8. James Storm beats AJ Styles clean in a decent match. I understand them giving Storm a win to help build his momentum leading up to Lockdown, but it shouldn't have been against someone like AJ. AJ Styles should be one of the top guys in the company, not high-end enhancement talent. Another Hogan backstage segment, this time with Sting.
SEGMENT 9. James Storm backstage with Montgomery Gentry (who are famous I guess?). Bobby Roode walks up with his entourage and spits water in their faces. I like that. The heel wrestling champion should punk celebrities, especially if they're associating with his arch-rival. This would've been enough Bobby Roode for me (and his match with Mr. Anderson). It was his best segment, and he gained some solid heel heat. The rest of the stuff where he appeared just felt like overkill.
SEGMENT 10. The Motor City Machine Guns are back! And no one cares. Seriously, both of these guys should've moved on by now. I personally think Alex Shelley has great potential as a singles wrestler. Then again, he is working for Impact Wrestling. Another Bischoff-Flair backstage segment.
SEGMENT 11. Hogan and Bischoff have an in-ring confrontation. It was just horrible. The only other names mentioned were (surprise!) Garrett Bischoff and Gunner.
SEGMENT 12. Bobby Roode beats Mr. Anderson by cheating, which would've been fine with me BUT Hogan couldn't let the show end without making sure his favorite person, himself, graced the screen one last time. He comes out and reverses the decision. So in total, that makes FIVE OUT OF TWELVE segments that featured Hulk Hogan.
And Impact Wrestling wonders why they're not doing better?
Actually, maybe they're not wondering. Maybe they think they're doing great! That would be make sense since Hogan has added NOTHING to the bottom line since joining the company and yet they continue to put him on tv as if it's going to help them.
Meanwhile, according to Impact Wrestling's website (http://www.impactwrestling.com/roster/Wrestler-Roster), there are currently thirty-four wrestlers employed by the company not including Knockouts or guys who only compete occasionally like Hogan, Flair and Sting. Exactly FOURTEEN of those thirty-four wrestlers appeared on the show. That's approximately forty one percent of the current roster of active wrestlers.
That means MORE THAN HALF the competent wrestlers on the company's payroll aren't even on tv. While entire segments are being devoted to Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, Sting, even Dixie Carter!
I haven't kept up regularly with Impact Wrestling but figured I'd take a moment to watch the show and provide some thoughtful analysis so that I could at least honestly say I'd give it a chance.
And after doing so, can only come to this conclusion, the "Impact Zone" is aptly named because anyone who enters it is sure to have their stool impacted Ed Leslie-style. Apparently when Gorilla Monsoon dubbed Hogan "immortal" in 1990, ol' Hulk took it literally!
SEGMENT 1. We're treated to a 10-minute Hogan lovefest that was basically just to set up the card for tonight's show. My solution: Have Tenay and Taz allude to Hogan "shaking things up" since taking over as the GM, give the rundown, and start the first match.
SEGMENT 2. First half of Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle. It was an okay match but my question is, AGAIN??
SEGMENT 3. Second half of Hardy-Angle. A clean win by Angle would've been nice but maybe the fact that he lost means he's going over at Lockdown. My point is, Who cares? It's basically more WCW-style booking in which the same old guys wrestle the same old guys. Not only are these guys old (not that they're bad workers, but they're definitely on the downside), but they're unreliable. Why build a featured pay-per-view match around them? At least have them work with younger, more reliable talent as a way of building stars of the future! There was some backstage stuff between Hogan and Angle, Ric Flair calling Eric Bischoff, and a promo by Bully Ray against Austin Aries. So far, two of the three segments we've had have featured Hogan and Flair. Bully Ray's promo was fine.
SEGMENT 4. Bully Ray has an in-ring confrontation with Austin Aries and just no-sells about fifty punches to the head. It's obvious Aries is smaller than Bully Ray, but constantly referring to it, is NOT the way to build Aries up as one of the "regular" guys. They need to take a cue from the WWE, when they were building up Shawn Michaels, even when he was matched up with giants like Undertaker, Kevin Nash, and Sid, they NEVER pointed out the size differential. They'd promote the size and strength of the giant but never how much smaller Shawn was. As much as I'm glad Aries is getting a push, I'm afraid in the long run, it's not going to advance his career much, especially if Bully Ray continues not selling for him. Abyss' "brother" had a backstage segment. Not a fan but glad he's finally gotten a gimmick change. Maybe it pays off.
SEGMENT 5. AJ Styles and James Storm decide to have a match and there just happens to be time for it? Since when do wrestlers decide to just go out and have a match? Why did this whole backstage conversation have to happen? Just have the match announced at the beginning of the show and put this time to better use! Speaking of time wasted, the Knockouts involved in the 6-way challenge all get separate introductions. I like intros in multiple-wrestler matches like this...but it's Impact Wrestling's ghetto intros...and it's the Knockouts. Who cares? This whole segment could've gone to something else.
SEGMENT 6. Knockouts have a 6-way, which at first sounds appealing but when you realize they were wrestling, it become much less so. The worst wrestler of the six (and that's saying something) ends up winning. I realize that the Knockouts have their place, but when they're given this much time, and most of them are just terrible in the ring, and you have talented workers on the roster who aren't on tv, something's wrong. Bobby Roode and his security team have a backstage segment with Mr. Anderson, who I used to think was good enough to be a "face of the company" type guy, but he's lost some of his "mojo" in my opinion. It may be the result of his bass ackwards booking and not having anything meaningful to do, but he really laid an egg in this segment.
SEGMENT 7. James Storm and Jeff Hardy hanging out at some country music awards show. I applaud this because it's the kind of thing WWE would do. Anytime one of their Superstars participates in type of event beyond wrestling, the WWE is all over it which is smart because it's good exposure. So hopefully, Impact Wrestling has gotten the hint and the trend will continue. Eric Young's bachelor party was epically bad. I think the guy's a good worker and definitely has charisma, but he's gone through so many incarnations that it's just time to move on. It wasn't funny. It was just embarrassingly awful.
SEGMENT 8. James Storm beats AJ Styles clean in a decent match. I understand them giving Storm a win to help build his momentum leading up to Lockdown, but it shouldn't have been against someone like AJ. AJ Styles should be one of the top guys in the company, not high-end enhancement talent. Another Hogan backstage segment, this time with Sting.
SEGMENT 9. James Storm backstage with Montgomery Gentry (who are famous I guess?). Bobby Roode walks up with his entourage and spits water in their faces. I like that. The heel wrestling champion should punk celebrities, especially if they're associating with his arch-rival. This would've been enough Bobby Roode for me (and his match with Mr. Anderson). It was his best segment, and he gained some solid heel heat. The rest of the stuff where he appeared just felt like overkill.
SEGMENT 10. The Motor City Machine Guns are back! And no one cares. Seriously, both of these guys should've moved on by now. I personally think Alex Shelley has great potential as a singles wrestler. Then again, he is working for Impact Wrestling. Another Bischoff-Flair backstage segment.
SEGMENT 11. Hogan and Bischoff have an in-ring confrontation. It was just horrible. The only other names mentioned were (surprise!) Garrett Bischoff and Gunner.
SEGMENT 12. Bobby Roode beats Mr. Anderson by cheating, which would've been fine with me BUT Hogan couldn't let the show end without making sure his favorite person, himself, graced the screen one last time. He comes out and reverses the decision. So in total, that makes FIVE OUT OF TWELVE segments that featured Hulk Hogan.
And Impact Wrestling wonders why they're not doing better?
Actually, maybe they're not wondering. Maybe they think they're doing great! That would be make sense since Hogan has added NOTHING to the bottom line since joining the company and yet they continue to put him on tv as if it's going to help them.
Meanwhile, according to Impact Wrestling's website (http://www.impactwrestling.com/roster/Wrestler-Roster), there are currently thirty-four wrestlers employed by the company not including Knockouts or guys who only compete occasionally like Hogan, Flair and Sting. Exactly FOURTEEN of those thirty-four wrestlers appeared on the show. That's approximately forty one percent of the current roster of active wrestlers.
That means MORE THAN HALF the competent wrestlers on the company's payroll aren't even on tv. While entire segments are being devoted to Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, Sting, even Dixie Carter!
I haven't kept up regularly with Impact Wrestling but figured I'd take a moment to watch the show and provide some thoughtful analysis so that I could at least honestly say I'd give it a chance.
And after doing so, can only come to this conclusion, the "Impact Zone" is aptly named because anyone who enters it is sure to have their stool impacted Ed Leslie-style. Apparently when Gorilla Monsoon dubbed Hogan "immortal" in 1990, ol' Hulk took it literally!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
WWE's (Non-Existent) Tag Team Division
Just for fun I'm going to look at WWE "Superstars" who aren't doing anything (or more accurately, WWE is not doing anything with), and pair them up to form some semblance of a tag team division which we can all agree, is sorely missed in wrestling these days. (By the way, WWE.com had a really terrible article on this subject that is partly responsible for me finding the motivation to do my own)
I love rambling on and on about things but instead of taking the scenic route, we're just going to get right into it. I'm trying to get this blog read and so in the interest of brevity, I'll spare you from all that could be said on this subject.
MASON RYAN & JUSTIN GABRIEL
I HATE Mason Ryan. I think he sucks in the ring and every time I see his face I want to punch it. I'm not a big fan of Gabriel either. Dude's got one move, that's it. BUT, that's why you stick guys in tag teams in the first place, because they can't really make it on their own. It gives them a chance to maximize their strengths, while hiding their weaknesses.
So why these two together? I like pairings of contrasting styles. Teams like the Hart Foundation which featured a power wrestler and a technical wrestler are even more rare than teams of two guys with similar styles. Matches with a team like this would build themselves. Gabriel takes a beating, eventually makes the hot tag to Mason Ryan who comes in and cleans house, sets the opponent up for Gabriel's 450 splash and -- Boom! Fans are entertained and both guys get over because they aren't floundering on their own for their shortcomings to be exposed.
Another thing working in their favor is they've both got that "rugged, good-looking European" thing going on (I know Gabriel's not from Europe but he sounds like he is and he freaking wears Speedos in the ring! All European guys wear Speedos, don't they?)
ALEX RILEY & JTG
Odd couples work, right? That's what I'm going for with these two. I personally think both guys could do well as singles competitors but the WWE clearly has no interest in using either one of them for anything meaningful right now so, why not team them up? I think they both have the charisma to make their interaction funny without getting so over-the-top goofy that they lose believability as a viable tag team.
CAMACHO & HUNICO
They're basically a tag team already and they've got the contrasting styles thing going for them. I know a lot of people hate the whole vato loco gimmick but I don't think anyone has ever used it to its full potential. We all laughed at Konnan because he was really more of a caricature. In real life, thugs are people to be feared. They could snap at any time for any reason and they don't give a damn about fighting fair. Push the gimmick as far as the PG rating will allow and you've got something worth watching.
CURT HAWKINS & TYLER REKS
They're already dressing alike. Might as well make them a tag team.
GREAT KHALI & JINDER MAHAL
I think they tried this already before but if anyone needs to have their weaknesses hidden it's Khali. Nobody cares about Jinder right now but in a tag team where he's always got Khali for a safety net, he'd have the chance to show whether or not he's a talented worker, either by doing some good old-fashioned heel bumping or building some heat as a ruthless cheater a'la the Iron Sheik when he was teaming with Nikolai Volkoff. He's clearly got "the look" to have a future in the business whereas Khali's probably already reached his ceiling. Why not get the most out of them in a tag team that, at least at first glance, looks scary as hell.
DREW MCINTYRE & JOE HENNIG
You read that correctly. Have Drew confront "Michael McGillicutty" about his bogus name and urge him to go back to being called by his given name. Both men have an "anointing" on their careers, one by the chairman himself, Vince McMahon, and one by the heritage of his legendary father. So it makes sense for them to team up to claim their destiny since going it alone has been fruitless. McIntyre could be the chief talker, but I'd even like to see them acquire a manager (someone other than Vicki Guerrero). And Joe needs to adopt his father's persona. He has to know it like the back of his hand and I would imagine no other gimmick would give him the same level of comfort and confidence.
TRENT BARRETA & TYSON KIDD
I think both of these guys belong in a tag team. I thought about pairing one of them with Ted DiBiase, who I also think belongs in a tag team but since he's on the shelf with an injury, I decided to throw these two together. Barreta is more of the carefree goofball whereas Tyson is the more serious wrestler. Tyson has great mat skills, and Trent is the reckless hi-flier. I even came up with a name for this one...T-N-T! They're both on the smallish side but they could have some GREAT matches with the current tag champs, Primo & Epico.
Johnny Curtis is another guy who is going to need a partner if he isn't put into a singles program with an experienced babyface vet whom he can go over. I've got several ideas for utilizing the creeper character he's apparently developed on NXT (I don't watch the show; I cheated and looked it up on Wikipedia. Shhhh!)
Throw in THE USOS and PRIMO & EPICO and you've got the makings of a pretty decent tag team division. It could happen, but this is World Wrestling Entertainment we're talking about here so...I'm not going to hold my breath.
Still it's fun to speculate. That's all I got for now. Discuss!
I love rambling on and on about things but instead of taking the scenic route, we're just going to get right into it. I'm trying to get this blog read and so in the interest of brevity, I'll spare you from all that could be said on this subject.
MASON RYAN & JUSTIN GABRIEL
I HATE Mason Ryan. I think he sucks in the ring and every time I see his face I want to punch it. I'm not a big fan of Gabriel either. Dude's got one move, that's it. BUT, that's why you stick guys in tag teams in the first place, because they can't really make it on their own. It gives them a chance to maximize their strengths, while hiding their weaknesses.
So why these two together? I like pairings of contrasting styles. Teams like the Hart Foundation which featured a power wrestler and a technical wrestler are even more rare than teams of two guys with similar styles. Matches with a team like this would build themselves. Gabriel takes a beating, eventually makes the hot tag to Mason Ryan who comes in and cleans house, sets the opponent up for Gabriel's 450 splash and -- Boom! Fans are entertained and both guys get over because they aren't floundering on their own for their shortcomings to be exposed.
Another thing working in their favor is they've both got that "rugged, good-looking European" thing going on (I know Gabriel's not from Europe but he sounds like he is and he freaking wears Speedos in the ring! All European guys wear Speedos, don't they?)
ALEX RILEY & JTG
Odd couples work, right? That's what I'm going for with these two. I personally think both guys could do well as singles competitors but the WWE clearly has no interest in using either one of them for anything meaningful right now so, why not team them up? I think they both have the charisma to make their interaction funny without getting so over-the-top goofy that they lose believability as a viable tag team.
CAMACHO & HUNICO
They're basically a tag team already and they've got the contrasting styles thing going for them. I know a lot of people hate the whole vato loco gimmick but I don't think anyone has ever used it to its full potential. We all laughed at Konnan because he was really more of a caricature. In real life, thugs are people to be feared. They could snap at any time for any reason and they don't give a damn about fighting fair. Push the gimmick as far as the PG rating will allow and you've got something worth watching.
CURT HAWKINS & TYLER REKS
They're already dressing alike. Might as well make them a tag team.
GREAT KHALI & JINDER MAHAL
I think they tried this already before but if anyone needs to have their weaknesses hidden it's Khali. Nobody cares about Jinder right now but in a tag team where he's always got Khali for a safety net, he'd have the chance to show whether or not he's a talented worker, either by doing some good old-fashioned heel bumping or building some heat as a ruthless cheater a'la the Iron Sheik when he was teaming with Nikolai Volkoff. He's clearly got "the look" to have a future in the business whereas Khali's probably already reached his ceiling. Why not get the most out of them in a tag team that, at least at first glance, looks scary as hell.
DREW MCINTYRE & JOE HENNIG
You read that correctly. Have Drew confront "Michael McGillicutty" about his bogus name and urge him to go back to being called by his given name. Both men have an "anointing" on their careers, one by the chairman himself, Vince McMahon, and one by the heritage of his legendary father. So it makes sense for them to team up to claim their destiny since going it alone has been fruitless. McIntyre could be the chief talker, but I'd even like to see them acquire a manager (someone other than Vicki Guerrero). And Joe needs to adopt his father's persona. He has to know it like the back of his hand and I would imagine no other gimmick would give him the same level of comfort and confidence.
TRENT BARRETA & TYSON KIDD
I think both of these guys belong in a tag team. I thought about pairing one of them with Ted DiBiase, who I also think belongs in a tag team but since he's on the shelf with an injury, I decided to throw these two together. Barreta is more of the carefree goofball whereas Tyson is the more serious wrestler. Tyson has great mat skills, and Trent is the reckless hi-flier. I even came up with a name for this one...T-N-T! They're both on the smallish side but they could have some GREAT matches with the current tag champs, Primo & Epico.
Johnny Curtis is another guy who is going to need a partner if he isn't put into a singles program with an experienced babyface vet whom he can go over. I've got several ideas for utilizing the creeper character he's apparently developed on NXT (I don't watch the show; I cheated and looked it up on Wikipedia. Shhhh!)
Throw in THE USOS and PRIMO & EPICO and you've got the makings of a pretty decent tag team division. It could happen, but this is World Wrestling Entertainment we're talking about here so...I'm not going to hold my breath.
Still it's fun to speculate. That's all I got for now. Discuss!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Rock won?? Somebody call my momma!
In honor of the late, great Brandon Lee, I'm going to give you this review of WrestleMania XXVIII rapid-fire style (and if you understood that reference, that means you're awesome).
SHEAMUS def DANIEL BRYAN (Wins the World Heavyweight Championship)
Before you huff and puff about how short it was REMEMBER a title belt is a GIMMICK. It has been a gimmick ever since Bruno beat Buddy Rogers for it in 48 seconds. My concern is for Daniel Bryan. The WWE has a track record for burying it's top heels after they lose the championship (see The Miz).
KANE def RANDY ORTON
I wasn't expecting much, and I got more than I expected so, THUMBS UP!
BIG SHOW def CODY RHODES (Wins the Intercontinental Championship)
Team player finally gets his "moment"; fine by me. Hopefully, this means Cody Rhodes moves on to bigger and better things.
KELLY KELLY & MARIA MENOUNOS def BETH PHOENIX & EVE TORRES
No one with a last name that hard to spell should win anything. Ever.
UNDERTAKER def TRIPLE H
Shawn Michaels still Mr. WrestleMania even though he wasn't wrestling? The answer is "Yes."
TEAM JOHNNY def TEAM TEDDY (If you really want to know who was in it, look it up)
Was really hoping for a face turn from The Miz, but happy he got the pin.
CM PUNK def CHRIS JERICHO (Retains the WWE Championship)
Winning isn't everything. In this match, it meant nothing. Chris Jericho was the better man tonight, and possibly the MVP of the whole f'n show.
THE ROCK def JOHN CENA
Ummm...why?
That's all folks. Discuss!
SHEAMUS def DANIEL BRYAN (Wins the World Heavyweight Championship)
Before you huff and puff about how short it was REMEMBER a title belt is a GIMMICK. It has been a gimmick ever since Bruno beat Buddy Rogers for it in 48 seconds. My concern is for Daniel Bryan. The WWE has a track record for burying it's top heels after they lose the championship (see The Miz).
KANE def RANDY ORTON
I wasn't expecting much, and I got more than I expected so, THUMBS UP!
BIG SHOW def CODY RHODES (Wins the Intercontinental Championship)
Team player finally gets his "moment"; fine by me. Hopefully, this means Cody Rhodes moves on to bigger and better things.
KELLY KELLY & MARIA MENOUNOS def BETH PHOENIX & EVE TORRES
No one with a last name that hard to spell should win anything. Ever.
UNDERTAKER def TRIPLE H
Shawn Michaels still Mr. WrestleMania even though he wasn't wrestling? The answer is "Yes."
TEAM JOHNNY def TEAM TEDDY (If you really want to know who was in it, look it up)
Was really hoping for a face turn from The Miz, but happy he got the pin.
CM PUNK def CHRIS JERICHO (Retains the WWE Championship)
Winning isn't everything. In this match, it meant nothing. Chris Jericho was the better man tonight, and possibly the MVP of the whole f'n show.
THE ROCK def JOHN CENA
Ummm...why?
That's all folks. Discuss!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Hold on, playa! What's wrong with TWO GMs?
The whole General Manager thing on Raw has been a joke for almost two years now. I guess the WWE thinks it's found a solution in the person of John Laurenitis.
It's become Standard Operating Procedure for the WWE to take someone who has legitimate heat with the fans (Vince McMahon, Michael Cole) and turn him into a character, banking on their legit heat to carry their "make believe" persona.
It certainly worked with Vince McMahon because for all his flaws, the guy's a somewhat talented performer who was willing to take risks. It backfired horribly with Michael Cole because even though the people really hated him, there was no pay off because he was just gawd awful at everything except being an obnoxious prick.
With Laurenitis, I believe their plan has worked. As a the interim GM, his character is able to make decisions that can affect every aspect of the show. So his personality or his actions are not the only pay-off.
The Smackdown GM position meanwhile, has been an afterthought during that same amount of time. But now that both positions have gotten back into the limelight, Teddy Long has made quite a resurgence as a performer.
I'm sure because of his age, he's probably looking to retire soon and maybe this whole "Team Johnny v Team Teddy" storyline is just his way of going out with a bang (there's the next Aksana joke) but, he's done such a good job I'm not ready to see him go!
So here's my idea (and trust me, it's motivated by more than just keeping Teddy Long on tv):
- The match at WrestleMania is NOT for control of both shows. It's just a "bragging rights" match. Or, you could even come up with another stipulation like, winner gets to "borrow" ONE talent per month from the opposing GMs roster AND gets to choose which talent from his own roster to give to the opposing GM in exchange. Whatever, as long as you keep the shows separate with TWO GMs.
-Smackdown wins at WrestleMania. Oh, the possibilities! Scheming to get certain wrestlers moved, the hype surrounding a wrestler's return, plots to get a wrestler to stay with the new show, etc.
-Next night on Raw, Johnny Ace (because "Ace" is easier to type than "Laurenitis") is so furious that he bans all mention of Smackdown on Raw. Have him come out while Cole and Lawler are recapping the 'Mania tag match and make the announcement.
-Teddy Long does the same thing on Smackdown. Recaps of Raw take up so much time during Smackdown and they're totally pointless! Anyone who cares enough about the WWE to watch Smackdown is already watching Raw and knows what happened! Have Teddy, like Johnny, come out during the "Raw Rewind" and just shut it down (I bet it'd get a huge pop).
-Make Smackdown live on Tuesday nights PERMANENTLY! The reason it's the WWE's "B" show, is because it's treated like a "B" show. Give it the same prestige of live tv. And moving it to Tuesdays would give the fans' anticipation a chance to build. Reminding us all week long what happened on Monday adds to the whole unappealing sensation of the weekly shows just running together. Do something worth talking about each week and you won't have to remind us what happened. We would REMEMBER ON OUR OWN and be talking about it anyway!
So what's the point? Why go to all this trouble? What do I hope the WWE would accomplish by making these changes?
-Add prestige to everything about Smackdown: the titles, the talent, the storylines. On the rare occasions that Smackdown is mentioned on Raw, it's regarded as an afterthought. It's not mentioned as being something separate and special. The WWE could change that and start promoting it as if they actually cared about it OR, they could use this more creative method of attaching the show to some kind of controversy. Telling people, "Don't watch Smackdown" when it is a WWE product, might just cause some people to check it out out of nothing more than curiosity.
-Add prestige to Raw: the titles, the talent, the storylines. Right now, everything's mixed. Smackdown is just "WWE's other show." But by making them separate shows essentially competing against each other, you create the illusion of competition. Of course we all know that it's all WWE, but we also know that wrestling's "fake" and that doesn't stop us from suspending our disbelief long enough to enjoy a good match. Right now, the titles don't mean anything. Nobody cares about the talent. But how about just a few Daniel Bryan promos in which he refers to himself as the "real heavyweight champion of the wrestling world?" Have CM Punk allude to Bryan sarcastically without mentioning his name. Because both shows have "banned" each other, and no longer share tv time or talent, to the point that they are no longer allowed to even NAME talent from the other show, it gives the audience a feeling as if they have some kind of "insider" perspective on the whole thing because they are free to watch what transpires on BOTH shows.
Basically, what this boils down to is just a device to generate interest and boost ratings. Right now it's "bad guy versus good guy" wrestling and it's not holding anyone's interest anymore than it did in the 80s or 90s. What adults find entertaining are real world situations. Something that they can relate to. Reality tv shows centered around family drama have their niche because everyone understands family drama. Competing companies resorting to tactics like refusing to acknowledge each others' existence is something adults can relate to because it happens in the real world all the time!
Creating this scenario gives both shows a foundation upon which to build better stories. For example, Lord Tensai is going to debut. Well, that's great. He'll be interesting for about two weeks and then no one will care. But if two rival shows are competing for his services, then it automatically becomes something more interesting anytime a new talent debuts.
I'm not saying we need to go back to the ridiculous atrocities of the Attitude Era like people getting freaky with corpses or giving birth to hands, but we certainly need more "reality" than what we're getting.
Last word on this post, something HAS to be done about the announcers. Remember the good old days when announcers like Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jesse Ventura, etc would actually talk about a wrestler's strenghts? Listen to UFC broadcast and nearly every single fight you'll hear Joe Rogan or Mike Goldberg point out something that each fighter does well.
When's the last time you heard ANY announcer on a WWE tv show do that for ANY wrestler, including the top stars? Take Primo and Epico, the tag team champions. The announcers don't even talk about them like they're real people! It's like, "here's Primo and Epico and these guys currently hold the tag team titles." No wonder nobody cares about the talent! What are they good at? Primo is a fantastic wrestler but you wouldn't know it by listening to the announcer team! To his credit, Booker T tries but he sounds so horrible that people plug their ears when he talks and don't hear what few good things he says.
For ANY program to work, the terrible announcing has to change.
Aaaaand, that's all I got for now. Discuss!
It's become Standard Operating Procedure for the WWE to take someone who has legitimate heat with the fans (Vince McMahon, Michael Cole) and turn him into a character, banking on their legit heat to carry their "make believe" persona.
It certainly worked with Vince McMahon because for all his flaws, the guy's a somewhat talented performer who was willing to take risks. It backfired horribly with Michael Cole because even though the people really hated him, there was no pay off because he was just gawd awful at everything except being an obnoxious prick.
With Laurenitis, I believe their plan has worked. As a the interim GM, his character is able to make decisions that can affect every aspect of the show. So his personality or his actions are not the only pay-off.
The Smackdown GM position meanwhile, has been an afterthought during that same amount of time. But now that both positions have gotten back into the limelight, Teddy Long has made quite a resurgence as a performer.
I'm sure because of his age, he's probably looking to retire soon and maybe this whole "Team Johnny v Team Teddy" storyline is just his way of going out with a bang (there's the next Aksana joke) but, he's done such a good job I'm not ready to see him go!
So here's my idea (and trust me, it's motivated by more than just keeping Teddy Long on tv):
- The match at WrestleMania is NOT for control of both shows. It's just a "bragging rights" match. Or, you could even come up with another stipulation like, winner gets to "borrow" ONE talent per month from the opposing GMs roster AND gets to choose which talent from his own roster to give to the opposing GM in exchange. Whatever, as long as you keep the shows separate with TWO GMs.
-Smackdown wins at WrestleMania. Oh, the possibilities! Scheming to get certain wrestlers moved, the hype surrounding a wrestler's return, plots to get a wrestler to stay with the new show, etc.
-Next night on Raw, Johnny Ace (because "Ace" is easier to type than "Laurenitis") is so furious that he bans all mention of Smackdown on Raw. Have him come out while Cole and Lawler are recapping the 'Mania tag match and make the announcement.
-Teddy Long does the same thing on Smackdown. Recaps of Raw take up so much time during Smackdown and they're totally pointless! Anyone who cares enough about the WWE to watch Smackdown is already watching Raw and knows what happened! Have Teddy, like Johnny, come out during the "Raw Rewind" and just shut it down (I bet it'd get a huge pop).
-Make Smackdown live on Tuesday nights PERMANENTLY! The reason it's the WWE's "B" show, is because it's treated like a "B" show. Give it the same prestige of live tv. And moving it to Tuesdays would give the fans' anticipation a chance to build. Reminding us all week long what happened on Monday adds to the whole unappealing sensation of the weekly shows just running together. Do something worth talking about each week and you won't have to remind us what happened. We would REMEMBER ON OUR OWN and be talking about it anyway!
So what's the point? Why go to all this trouble? What do I hope the WWE would accomplish by making these changes?
-Add prestige to everything about Smackdown: the titles, the talent, the storylines. On the rare occasions that Smackdown is mentioned on Raw, it's regarded as an afterthought. It's not mentioned as being something separate and special. The WWE could change that and start promoting it as if they actually cared about it OR, they could use this more creative method of attaching the show to some kind of controversy. Telling people, "Don't watch Smackdown" when it is a WWE product, might just cause some people to check it out out of nothing more than curiosity.
-Add prestige to Raw: the titles, the talent, the storylines. Right now, everything's mixed. Smackdown is just "WWE's other show." But by making them separate shows essentially competing against each other, you create the illusion of competition. Of course we all know that it's all WWE, but we also know that wrestling's "fake" and that doesn't stop us from suspending our disbelief long enough to enjoy a good match. Right now, the titles don't mean anything. Nobody cares about the talent. But how about just a few Daniel Bryan promos in which he refers to himself as the "real heavyweight champion of the wrestling world?" Have CM Punk allude to Bryan sarcastically without mentioning his name. Because both shows have "banned" each other, and no longer share tv time or talent, to the point that they are no longer allowed to even NAME talent from the other show, it gives the audience a feeling as if they have some kind of "insider" perspective on the whole thing because they are free to watch what transpires on BOTH shows.
Basically, what this boils down to is just a device to generate interest and boost ratings. Right now it's "bad guy versus good guy" wrestling and it's not holding anyone's interest anymore than it did in the 80s or 90s. What adults find entertaining are real world situations. Something that they can relate to. Reality tv shows centered around family drama have their niche because everyone understands family drama. Competing companies resorting to tactics like refusing to acknowledge each others' existence is something adults can relate to because it happens in the real world all the time!
Creating this scenario gives both shows a foundation upon which to build better stories. For example, Lord Tensai is going to debut. Well, that's great. He'll be interesting for about two weeks and then no one will care. But if two rival shows are competing for his services, then it automatically becomes something more interesting anytime a new talent debuts.
I'm not saying we need to go back to the ridiculous atrocities of the Attitude Era like people getting freaky with corpses or giving birth to hands, but we certainly need more "reality" than what we're getting.
Last word on this post, something HAS to be done about the announcers. Remember the good old days when announcers like Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jesse Ventura, etc would actually talk about a wrestler's strenghts? Listen to UFC broadcast and nearly every single fight you'll hear Joe Rogan or Mike Goldberg point out something that each fighter does well.
When's the last time you heard ANY announcer on a WWE tv show do that for ANY wrestler, including the top stars? Take Primo and Epico, the tag team champions. The announcers don't even talk about them like they're real people! It's like, "here's Primo and Epico and these guys currently hold the tag team titles." No wonder nobody cares about the talent! What are they good at? Primo is a fantastic wrestler but you wouldn't know it by listening to the announcer team! To his credit, Booker T tries but he sounds so horrible that people plug their ears when he talks and don't hear what few good things he says.
For ANY program to work, the terrible announcing has to change.
Aaaaand, that's all I got for now. Discuss!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
My Take on WrestleMania 28 in a nutsack
(See what I did there? The title? Ah, nevermind.)
Quick disclaimer: I'm not a know-it-all kind of smark who thinks every idea I have is good. This is mostly self-therapy but maybe you find it interesting too and it gets you talking, either to me or your friends. I don't think I'm the end-all, be-all so don't shred my post with a fine-tooth comb as if I do, ok? Everybody cool? Ok, let's go!
THE ROCK v JOHN CENA
I'm fine with it. Well, that's not exactly true. I'm fine with it as long as it results in change. Real change, not President Obama-type change which is, no change.
I look at this match like Hogan-Andre at WM3. It was the WWF's attempt at legitimizing Hulkamania. And it worked. Up to that point, Hogan was looked upon as a bit of a fraud because although he'd beaten everybody he was matched up with, he hadn't beaten anyone who was transcendent. Someone who was more of a celebrity than he was. Andre was the ONLY guy who fit that bill. If anyone knew any other wrestler besides Hulk Hogan in 1987, they knew Andre the Giant.
Hogan, in his prime. Cena, in his prime. Andre, past his prime. Rock, past his prime. Thankfully, unlike Andre, Rock can still move and we're going to get a decent match. Where the trouble lies, is if the WWF drops the ball with Cena the way they did with Hogan AFTER the match is over.
Any momentum Hogan gained from beating Andre was quickly lost thanks to him becoming too formulaic and corny. Prior to WM3, Hogan's matches were much more unpredictable. His promos were much more passionate and chaotic. Go watch some of his stuff from 1984-1986. He was just a wrestler then. He wasn't this transcendent goody-two-shoes superman that no one could identify with. He was just a competitor, with a bit of a cocky chip on his shoulder who hated losing and if he didn't like you, he punched you in the face.
Cena's situation's a little different because he's already become that boring, formulaic, corny, goody-two-shoes that no one can relate to. Which is why I'm saying, if he beats the Rock, and drops the whole "Super Cena" gimmick and just goes back to being a regular guy, you might actually see a turnaround and the people start getting behind him again.
But, if things stay the same and in the aftermath of WrestleMania 28, we can't even tell that it happened, then it was a colossal waste of time. Sure, it may result in some pay-per-view buys, but that wasn't enough to keep WCW alive and it won't be enough to keep the WWE alive either. (Yeah, I went there! It's DEAD, son!)
TRIPLE H v UNDERTAKER
Am I the only one who hopes this is Taker's last WrestleMania? The "Streak" means more than any championship in the WWE right now but it's getting close to becoming just as insignificant as those belts considering, the guy only wrestles once a year. What's so special about beating him, really?
If it is his last Mania, how sad is it that he's wrestling Triple H...FOR THE THIRD TIME???
A problem that has ALWAYS existed in wrestling is veterans hanging on too long and not being willing to put younger talent over on their way out. This match is a classic example of that.
My idea? Undertaker vs. Sheamus. Sheamus has all the tools to become a top star for the WWE for a long time. Similar to Taker, he's got a great look, he can do some special things for a big guy, and he's got charisma. I believe Taker deserves to retire undefeated at Mania, but what's special about beating a guy you've already beaten twice who barely wrestles himself??
The storyline was already written for them. Taker was pushed to the limit last year. The Streak is more vulnerable than it's ever been. He's ready for a hungry young lion to come along and overthrow him. Sheamus pushes him even further than Triple H did (without all the garbage rest spots btw) but in the end, Taker proves there's something "supernatural" about the Streak that prevents him from losing at WrestleMania BUT Sheamus earns respect for putting on a great performance and nearly winning.
If the match is executed the right way, it could greatly benefit both guys. Taker rides off into the sunset with the Streak intact; Sheamus moves on with more prestige.
What about Triple H, you ask? Well, for that we have to look at...
CM PUNK v CHRIS JERICHO
Why does Jericho deserve a title shot? Wasn't he the guy who was jobbing to Evan Bourne before his last hiatus? So what if he wins a battle royal after NOT winning the Royal Rumble?
For all his history and talent, I just don't buy him as a World title contender. I don't think very many other people do either. They're trying to get fans to take him seriously with the whole alcoholism angle but it's not working.
Why not instead have CM Punk tie up the loose ends from last summer when he was feuding with Triple H? The whole angle took that awful detour with Kevin Nash but just like they brought Rock/Cena back to the forefront, do the same for Punk/HHH. Punk was already feuding with a staff member, John Laurenitis. Instead of Undertaker coming out when Johnny was set to be fired, have Punk come out and confront Hunter.
And this time, have Punk win. Not just win, but win convincingly. Not just win the match convincingly, but win the feud convincingly. Along the way, you could work all sorts of angles. You could have Triple H just go full on heel boss with it and throw guys like David Otunga or even Funkasaurus at Punk. Fun angles, unorthodox angles, things that no one expects just to shake things up and make them interesting for crying out loud!
The key is, Punk goes over and you've legitimized him. He becomes the same kind of people's champion that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was. He beats Jericho and really, when it's over, who cares? But, he overcomes the odds and beats the "boss" who last year nearly ended "the Streak" and the torch has officially been passed.
Right now, the torch is being passed alright. Triple H and Undertaker are tossing it back and forth like a game of Hot Potato and they're refusing to let anyone else play.
Would I have Jericho do anything at Mania? I would've had him manage Dolph Ziggler or Wade Barrett. When he was Barrett's Pro on NXT, he was the best manager professional wrestling had seen since Bobby Heenan. In that role, he's a threat because he's still in fantastic shape and can contribute in ways most managers couldn't. He's a legitimate threat outside the ring but he can do all of the other things that managers do to aid their charges not only during a match but during promos as well.
Even though I think Wade Barrett is a great talker and Dolph is passable, having that extra mouthpiece just bolsters their ability and adds an extra dimension to their character and helps make them INTERESTING.
At this point, beating Chris Jericho in a match means nothing. Managing is really the only way he can be productive in the business anymore.
DANIEL BRYAN v SHEAMUS
Daniel Bryan is the best heel the WWE has had in a long, long time. He's such a good bad guy that he could believably mow through the entire roster of good guys. He's already on his way having beaten the Big Show. He needs to move on to someone more legitimate than him.
And his name is Randy Orton (See what I did there? Ah, whatever.)
Seriously though, Orton has always come right up to the edge of transcending the business but has continually come up short. What's that tell you? He just hasn't got it. There's something internal that's missing.
However, he's still very popular and regarded as a top babyface. So to legitimize Daniel Bryan and establish him as one of your stars of the future, he needs to continue moving through the company's top babyfaces, meaning Randy too.
They could've easily had Orton win the Rumble. They could've sold his injury and his comeback to win it in his hometown. It would've made a great story. I think fans right now, would be behind Orton winning the belt at Mania more than Sheamus. I honestly think if Sheamus does win, some fans are going to turn on him because of what a white hot heel Daniel Bryan has become. I don't think fans are ready to see him lose yet. They're trying hard to push Sheamus now that he's won it, but his Rumble win was so unexpected that it's really struggling to build the necessary momentum for people to care, especially with Bryan so far ahead of him in terms of overness.
But Orton's a different story. He's always over because he's been so firmly established as a top guy. It's easier for fans to believe in him as a legit threat.
Bryan beats Randy, Randy continues to "hover" around the top of the card to be fed to more up-and-coming heels. Bryan moves on. I wouldn't mind seeing him turn the Miz face and the two of them feud. What I'd REALLY like to see, is a very slow, incremental build to a "Super Bowl" type match at next year's Mania between Punk and Bryan that unifies the World title but, one thing at a time.
Speaking of Randy...
RANDY ORTON v KANE
The backstory they cooked up at least gives this match-up some meaning I guess, but in the end, who really cares? Who cares if Orton beats Kane or if Kane beats Orton? What does it accomplish? Answer: nothing!
Kane is like Randy in that, while still very popular, he's never become that transcendent guy. So, like Randy, he needs to become high-end enhancement talent. Have him put some of the younger talent over.
Why not a feud with Zack Ryder that doesn't involve Eve or John Cena? Cena essentially fought Zack's battle for him against Kane. What, after all Kane put him through, Zack doesn't want a little revenge of his own? Getting the best of a feud against Kane would help Ryder regain some of the momentum and credibility he lost in that terrible love triangle.
It doesn't have to be a total job out by Kane. He could even win at Mania with the story being that Zack doesn't have the killer instinct to beat him. That he's just a goofball who can't be taken seriously ("Bro, seriously?"). You drag it out for awhile with Zack getting pushed further and further down until one day he's able to finally break the lid off and do what it takes to beat Kane. I don't know; it makes sense to me.
CODY RHODES v BIG SHOW
I'm sure some of you will hate me for this but, I've got no problem with Show beating Cody for the I-C title at Mania.
He's been such a team player for so many years, jobbing out to wrestlers and non-wrestlers alike, and this may be his last chance to have something positive happen for him at 'Mania. He's played a part in getting so many young guys over, he deserves to have his moment in the sun.
Of course, in the process, he can still make Cody look good and I'd ultimately like Cody to regain the title from him. But give Show his moment, I've got no problem with that as long as it's not some ridiculous squash. He has to just barely win. That's the only way to make it meaningful.
KELLY KELLY & MARIA MENOUNOS v BETH PHOENIX & EVE TORRES
I'd totally scrap this match. I'd fire Kelly Kelly and Eve. I wouldn't have Maria Menounos involved at all unless it's to get totally flattened by Beth and saved by another diva who can actually wrestle. Tamina Snuka? Natalya? AJ?
Actually, I wish Mickie James, Gail Kim, Jillian, and Winter (Katie Lea) were still with the company, then they'd have some options. Not sure what Kharma's situation is but if she's available, she'd be an option too. Have Beth come out and start beating up poor Maria Menounos, only for Kharma to appear and beat Beth for the title.
The divas shouldn't be there simply for their looks. They need to be marketed to the most obvious target demographic, young girls. Take a cue from the WNBA and start using the divas as role models. Reach out to a target audience and start reaping the benefits of merchandise sold and tickets and pay-per-views purchased. It won't be enough to carry the company of course, but I'm sure it would result in more revenue that can actually be tied to the divas' presence than they're currently bringing in.
TEAM TEDDY v TEAM JOHNNY
A twelve man tag match is a little ludicrous, especially considering how little time they're sure to get. I'd prefer a five-on-five Survivor Series style elimination match.
Realistically, this is probably the best those involved in this match can hope for. There's only so much time and so many spots on the card. I'd prefer to see the tag champs involved rather than Christian, who I think is way past his prime, looks horrible, and has no credibility as anything other than midcard enhancement talent, and Jack Swagger who, for all his talent, just doesn't deserve this spot. He's done NOTHING to elevate himself since his debut.
Reward those who've earned it with a spot on the card. Primo, Epico, and Rosa Mendes have EARNED a spot in WrestleMania. Dolph Ziggler has EARNED a spot in WrestleMania. David Otunga, Mark Henry, R-Truth, they've all earned a spot in WrestleMania with the way they have elevated themselves over the past year.
Santino Marella? Kofi Kingston? They're kind of in the same boat as Swagger. They certainly have their "niche" but do they really deserve to be featured in this match? The reason they're in it is because the WWE hasn't worked to develop anybody else so right now, these are the only names that fans care enough about to support.
But what if the WWE had implemented the program I suggested in a previous post featuring Trent Barreta? Then he could be one of the young talents featured in this match. But right now, it wouldn't make sense to include him because no one knows who he is.
How about Brodus Clay? He's a PERFECT fit for Team Teddy! And he's certainly earned a spot on the card.
Overall, I'm not crazy about the idea of ONE General Manager over both shows, but a 10-man tag is probably the best way to get the most talent featured on the card, and the stipulation at least makes the match meaningful.
Last word on this match, there's still time for it to happen, the Miz as the last member of Team Teddy after he continually fails to make Team Johnny, Teddy Long just offers him a spot, which leads to a face turn and sets the Miz back on track to the top of the card where I personally feel he belongs.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So here's MY 'Mania:
MAIN EVENT: JOHN CENA v THE ROCK
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CM PUNK (c) v TRIPLE H
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: DANIEL BRYAN (c) v RANDY ORTON
THE STREAK: UNDERTAKER v SHEAMUS
GRUDGE MATCH: ZACK RYDER v KANE
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CODY RHODES (c) v BIG SHOW
IMPROMPTU DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP CHALLENGE: BETH PHOENIX (c) v KHARMA
TEAM JOHNNY (Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga, Primo & Epico) v TEAM TEDDY (The Miz, R-Truth, Brodus Clay, Trent Barreta, *not sure who the fifth member would be; write your own ending, I guess)
Discuss!
Quick disclaimer: I'm not a know-it-all kind of smark who thinks every idea I have is good. This is mostly self-therapy but maybe you find it interesting too and it gets you talking, either to me or your friends. I don't think I'm the end-all, be-all so don't shred my post with a fine-tooth comb as if I do, ok? Everybody cool? Ok, let's go!
THE ROCK v JOHN CENA
I'm fine with it. Well, that's not exactly true. I'm fine with it as long as it results in change. Real change, not President Obama-type change which is, no change.
I look at this match like Hogan-Andre at WM3. It was the WWF's attempt at legitimizing Hulkamania. And it worked. Up to that point, Hogan was looked upon as a bit of a fraud because although he'd beaten everybody he was matched up with, he hadn't beaten anyone who was transcendent. Someone who was more of a celebrity than he was. Andre was the ONLY guy who fit that bill. If anyone knew any other wrestler besides Hulk Hogan in 1987, they knew Andre the Giant.
Hogan, in his prime. Cena, in his prime. Andre, past his prime. Rock, past his prime. Thankfully, unlike Andre, Rock can still move and we're going to get a decent match. Where the trouble lies, is if the WWF drops the ball with Cena the way they did with Hogan AFTER the match is over.
Any momentum Hogan gained from beating Andre was quickly lost thanks to him becoming too formulaic and corny. Prior to WM3, Hogan's matches were much more unpredictable. His promos were much more passionate and chaotic. Go watch some of his stuff from 1984-1986. He was just a wrestler then. He wasn't this transcendent goody-two-shoes superman that no one could identify with. He was just a competitor, with a bit of a cocky chip on his shoulder who hated losing and if he didn't like you, he punched you in the face.
Cena's situation's a little different because he's already become that boring, formulaic, corny, goody-two-shoes that no one can relate to. Which is why I'm saying, if he beats the Rock, and drops the whole "Super Cena" gimmick and just goes back to being a regular guy, you might actually see a turnaround and the people start getting behind him again.
But, if things stay the same and in the aftermath of WrestleMania 28, we can't even tell that it happened, then it was a colossal waste of time. Sure, it may result in some pay-per-view buys, but that wasn't enough to keep WCW alive and it won't be enough to keep the WWE alive either. (Yeah, I went there! It's DEAD, son!)
TRIPLE H v UNDERTAKER
Am I the only one who hopes this is Taker's last WrestleMania? The "Streak" means more than any championship in the WWE right now but it's getting close to becoming just as insignificant as those belts considering, the guy only wrestles once a year. What's so special about beating him, really?
If it is his last Mania, how sad is it that he's wrestling Triple H...FOR THE THIRD TIME???
A problem that has ALWAYS existed in wrestling is veterans hanging on too long and not being willing to put younger talent over on their way out. This match is a classic example of that.
My idea? Undertaker vs. Sheamus. Sheamus has all the tools to become a top star for the WWE for a long time. Similar to Taker, he's got a great look, he can do some special things for a big guy, and he's got charisma. I believe Taker deserves to retire undefeated at Mania, but what's special about beating a guy you've already beaten twice who barely wrestles himself??
The storyline was already written for them. Taker was pushed to the limit last year. The Streak is more vulnerable than it's ever been. He's ready for a hungry young lion to come along and overthrow him. Sheamus pushes him even further than Triple H did (without all the garbage rest spots btw) but in the end, Taker proves there's something "supernatural" about the Streak that prevents him from losing at WrestleMania BUT Sheamus earns respect for putting on a great performance and nearly winning.
If the match is executed the right way, it could greatly benefit both guys. Taker rides off into the sunset with the Streak intact; Sheamus moves on with more prestige.
What about Triple H, you ask? Well, for that we have to look at...
CM PUNK v CHRIS JERICHO
Why does Jericho deserve a title shot? Wasn't he the guy who was jobbing to Evan Bourne before his last hiatus? So what if he wins a battle royal after NOT winning the Royal Rumble?
For all his history and talent, I just don't buy him as a World title contender. I don't think very many other people do either. They're trying to get fans to take him seriously with the whole alcoholism angle but it's not working.
Why not instead have CM Punk tie up the loose ends from last summer when he was feuding with Triple H? The whole angle took that awful detour with Kevin Nash but just like they brought Rock/Cena back to the forefront, do the same for Punk/HHH. Punk was already feuding with a staff member, John Laurenitis. Instead of Undertaker coming out when Johnny was set to be fired, have Punk come out and confront Hunter.
And this time, have Punk win. Not just win, but win convincingly. Not just win the match convincingly, but win the feud convincingly. Along the way, you could work all sorts of angles. You could have Triple H just go full on heel boss with it and throw guys like David Otunga or even Funkasaurus at Punk. Fun angles, unorthodox angles, things that no one expects just to shake things up and make them interesting for crying out loud!
The key is, Punk goes over and you've legitimized him. He becomes the same kind of people's champion that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was. He beats Jericho and really, when it's over, who cares? But, he overcomes the odds and beats the "boss" who last year nearly ended "the Streak" and the torch has officially been passed.
Right now, the torch is being passed alright. Triple H and Undertaker are tossing it back and forth like a game of Hot Potato and they're refusing to let anyone else play.
Would I have Jericho do anything at Mania? I would've had him manage Dolph Ziggler or Wade Barrett. When he was Barrett's Pro on NXT, he was the best manager professional wrestling had seen since Bobby Heenan. In that role, he's a threat because he's still in fantastic shape and can contribute in ways most managers couldn't. He's a legitimate threat outside the ring but he can do all of the other things that managers do to aid their charges not only during a match but during promos as well.
Even though I think Wade Barrett is a great talker and Dolph is passable, having that extra mouthpiece just bolsters their ability and adds an extra dimension to their character and helps make them INTERESTING.
At this point, beating Chris Jericho in a match means nothing. Managing is really the only way he can be productive in the business anymore.
DANIEL BRYAN v SHEAMUS
Daniel Bryan is the best heel the WWE has had in a long, long time. He's such a good bad guy that he could believably mow through the entire roster of good guys. He's already on his way having beaten the Big Show. He needs to move on to someone more legitimate than him.
And his name is Randy Orton (See what I did there? Ah, whatever.)
Seriously though, Orton has always come right up to the edge of transcending the business but has continually come up short. What's that tell you? He just hasn't got it. There's something internal that's missing.
However, he's still very popular and regarded as a top babyface. So to legitimize Daniel Bryan and establish him as one of your stars of the future, he needs to continue moving through the company's top babyfaces, meaning Randy too.
They could've easily had Orton win the Rumble. They could've sold his injury and his comeback to win it in his hometown. It would've made a great story. I think fans right now, would be behind Orton winning the belt at Mania more than Sheamus. I honestly think if Sheamus does win, some fans are going to turn on him because of what a white hot heel Daniel Bryan has become. I don't think fans are ready to see him lose yet. They're trying hard to push Sheamus now that he's won it, but his Rumble win was so unexpected that it's really struggling to build the necessary momentum for people to care, especially with Bryan so far ahead of him in terms of overness.
But Orton's a different story. He's always over because he's been so firmly established as a top guy. It's easier for fans to believe in him as a legit threat.
Bryan beats Randy, Randy continues to "hover" around the top of the card to be fed to more up-and-coming heels. Bryan moves on. I wouldn't mind seeing him turn the Miz face and the two of them feud. What I'd REALLY like to see, is a very slow, incremental build to a "Super Bowl" type match at next year's Mania between Punk and Bryan that unifies the World title but, one thing at a time.
Speaking of Randy...
RANDY ORTON v KANE
The backstory they cooked up at least gives this match-up some meaning I guess, but in the end, who really cares? Who cares if Orton beats Kane or if Kane beats Orton? What does it accomplish? Answer: nothing!
Kane is like Randy in that, while still very popular, he's never become that transcendent guy. So, like Randy, he needs to become high-end enhancement talent. Have him put some of the younger talent over.
Why not a feud with Zack Ryder that doesn't involve Eve or John Cena? Cena essentially fought Zack's battle for him against Kane. What, after all Kane put him through, Zack doesn't want a little revenge of his own? Getting the best of a feud against Kane would help Ryder regain some of the momentum and credibility he lost in that terrible love triangle.
It doesn't have to be a total job out by Kane. He could even win at Mania with the story being that Zack doesn't have the killer instinct to beat him. That he's just a goofball who can't be taken seriously ("Bro, seriously?"). You drag it out for awhile with Zack getting pushed further and further down until one day he's able to finally break the lid off and do what it takes to beat Kane. I don't know; it makes sense to me.
CODY RHODES v BIG SHOW
I'm sure some of you will hate me for this but, I've got no problem with Show beating Cody for the I-C title at Mania.
He's been such a team player for so many years, jobbing out to wrestlers and non-wrestlers alike, and this may be his last chance to have something positive happen for him at 'Mania. He's played a part in getting so many young guys over, he deserves to have his moment in the sun.
Of course, in the process, he can still make Cody look good and I'd ultimately like Cody to regain the title from him. But give Show his moment, I've got no problem with that as long as it's not some ridiculous squash. He has to just barely win. That's the only way to make it meaningful.
KELLY KELLY & MARIA MENOUNOS v BETH PHOENIX & EVE TORRES
I'd totally scrap this match. I'd fire Kelly Kelly and Eve. I wouldn't have Maria Menounos involved at all unless it's to get totally flattened by Beth and saved by another diva who can actually wrestle. Tamina Snuka? Natalya? AJ?
Actually, I wish Mickie James, Gail Kim, Jillian, and Winter (Katie Lea) were still with the company, then they'd have some options. Not sure what Kharma's situation is but if she's available, she'd be an option too. Have Beth come out and start beating up poor Maria Menounos, only for Kharma to appear and beat Beth for the title.
The divas shouldn't be there simply for their looks. They need to be marketed to the most obvious target demographic, young girls. Take a cue from the WNBA and start using the divas as role models. Reach out to a target audience and start reaping the benefits of merchandise sold and tickets and pay-per-views purchased. It won't be enough to carry the company of course, but I'm sure it would result in more revenue that can actually be tied to the divas' presence than they're currently bringing in.
TEAM TEDDY v TEAM JOHNNY
A twelve man tag match is a little ludicrous, especially considering how little time they're sure to get. I'd prefer a five-on-five Survivor Series style elimination match.
Realistically, this is probably the best those involved in this match can hope for. There's only so much time and so many spots on the card. I'd prefer to see the tag champs involved rather than Christian, who I think is way past his prime, looks horrible, and has no credibility as anything other than midcard enhancement talent, and Jack Swagger who, for all his talent, just doesn't deserve this spot. He's done NOTHING to elevate himself since his debut.
Reward those who've earned it with a spot on the card. Primo, Epico, and Rosa Mendes have EARNED a spot in WrestleMania. Dolph Ziggler has EARNED a spot in WrestleMania. David Otunga, Mark Henry, R-Truth, they've all earned a spot in WrestleMania with the way they have elevated themselves over the past year.
Santino Marella? Kofi Kingston? They're kind of in the same boat as Swagger. They certainly have their "niche" but do they really deserve to be featured in this match? The reason they're in it is because the WWE hasn't worked to develop anybody else so right now, these are the only names that fans care enough about to support.
But what if the WWE had implemented the program I suggested in a previous post featuring Trent Barreta? Then he could be one of the young talents featured in this match. But right now, it wouldn't make sense to include him because no one knows who he is.
How about Brodus Clay? He's a PERFECT fit for Team Teddy! And he's certainly earned a spot on the card.
Overall, I'm not crazy about the idea of ONE General Manager over both shows, but a 10-man tag is probably the best way to get the most talent featured on the card, and the stipulation at least makes the match meaningful.
Last word on this match, there's still time for it to happen, the Miz as the last member of Team Teddy after he continually fails to make Team Johnny, Teddy Long just offers him a spot, which leads to a face turn and sets the Miz back on track to the top of the card where I personally feel he belongs.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So here's MY 'Mania:
MAIN EVENT: JOHN CENA v THE ROCK
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CM PUNK (c) v TRIPLE H
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: DANIEL BRYAN (c) v RANDY ORTON
THE STREAK: UNDERTAKER v SHEAMUS
GRUDGE MATCH: ZACK RYDER v KANE
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CODY RHODES (c) v BIG SHOW
IMPROMPTU DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP CHALLENGE: BETH PHOENIX (c) v KHARMA
TEAM JOHNNY (Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga, Primo & Epico) v TEAM TEDDY (The Miz, R-Truth, Brodus Clay, Trent Barreta, *not sure who the fifth member would be; write your own ending, I guess)
Discuss!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Elimination Chamber 2012
Instead of just plugging Santino Marella into the Smackdown Elimination Chamber as a replacement for Randy Orton, have a gauntlet match on Smackdown instead.
Have Santino be like the third entrant. He gets a huge pop of course, and beats one, maybe two opponents. Now the crowd is really excited because they think Santino is going to get his big chance.
Then out comes U.S. Champ Jack Swagger, who beats Santino. Crowd gives a collective sigh because the one guy they could get behind has been eliminated. Now it's time for the last entrant in the gauntlet match and it's... Trent Barreta!
Have Cole hate on Trent, saying he's got no chance and doesn't even deserve to be there. Booker sells the fact that it would be a great underdog story if he won. Show a close-up of Swagger smiling because he thinks he's got this in the bag.
Next, you have Trent and Swagger steal the show. Trent gets in some flashy moves at the start to get the crowd behind him and Swagger narrowly avoids being pinned. Then Jack cheats to gain the upper hand and unloads with the heavy artillery, pummeling Trent for several minutes.
Swagger goes for the anklelock and just as is appears Barreta's about to tap, he gets to the ropes. Swagger's clearly frustrated (maybe have him drop the straps on his singlet; I know it's a Kurt Angle rip-off but who cares, I think it would totally fit) and has had enough. He sets up Trent for the gutwrench power bomb. But as Jack lifts him, Barreta is able to counter with a creative pinning combination and get the win. Crowd erupts! Trent quickly slides out of the ring and celebrates. Swagger throws a tantrum. The ultimate underdog has made it into the Smackdown Elimination Chamber and a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship.
So the night of the pay-per-view, interview Trent Barreta backstage. Have him talk about how this is a dream come true, opportunity of a lifetime, etc. In the match, have it come down to Barreta and the champion, Daniel Bryan. Bryan has just eliminated the last contender and as he turns he realizes Barreta, who is laying on the opposite end of the ring after getting the crap kicked out of him, is still in the match. Like Swagger, Bryan smirks at the prospect of an easy win. Then he and Barreta proceed to tear the house down.
Trent starts out sluggish, having absorbed lots of punishment throughout the match. But after some stiff offense by Bryan, Barreta starts to fire up. Hopefully, the crowd would be solidly behind the challenger at this point thanks to his ability to survive and also a few high spots sprinkled in throughout the match, and start chanting for him. Trent goes on the offensive and pushes Bryan to the absolute brink, even scoring a 2 and 0.9999 count. Just when it seems like he might actually pull off the upset, Bryan is able to cinch up the LeBell Lock. Trent fights it for as long as he can but eventually has to tap out. Bryan's celebration is hastened by his exhaustion and the fact that he realizes that he narrowly escaped with his title so, he's not elated about the win. He doesn't do his "Yes! Yes! Yes!" but instead, hurries backstage, clutching the title belt.
Barreta meanwhile, struggles to his feet, selling everything that he's just been through and leaves to a standing ovation.
From now on, Daniel Bryan refuses to answer questions about Trent Barreta and gets angry whenever anyone tries to press the issue. This underlying tension would be the basis for a rematch months, perhaps even a year down the road.
Meanwhile, on the next Smackdown, Trent Barreta comes out to another huge reaction from the crowd but is interrupted by the U.S. Champion Jack Swagger who claims Barreta got lucky in the gauntlet match and that he'd never beat him one-on-one. So a match is set up for the two of them that night.
Traditional wisdom would dictate that the match be non-title and that Barreta win. However, I say, let's do the opposite! Have the match be for the title and have Swagger win by cheating. This sets up the rematch which I would save for WrestleMania. The build up to Barreta winning the U.S. Title could be what the build for Zack Ryder winning it should have been.
The benefits of this storyline:
-The Smackdown Elimination Chamber has a storyline that makes it compelling rather than just the other Chamber match.
-The World Heavyweight Championship gains prestige because of how hard Bryan had to fight to keep it, and the excitement of Barreta possibly winning it.
-The U.S. Title gains importance because of a compelling storyline attached to it and the fact that Barreta actually values winning it.
-Talented workers like Swagger and especially Barreta, have something significant to do that actually helps establish them as stars of the future.
-The subplot between Barreta and Bryan gives the WWE something that they can develop at any time should a challenger for the WHC be needed.
Have Santino be like the third entrant. He gets a huge pop of course, and beats one, maybe two opponents. Now the crowd is really excited because they think Santino is going to get his big chance.
Then out comes U.S. Champ Jack Swagger, who beats Santino. Crowd gives a collective sigh because the one guy they could get behind has been eliminated. Now it's time for the last entrant in the gauntlet match and it's... Trent Barreta!
Have Cole hate on Trent, saying he's got no chance and doesn't even deserve to be there. Booker sells the fact that it would be a great underdog story if he won. Show a close-up of Swagger smiling because he thinks he's got this in the bag.
Next, you have Trent and Swagger steal the show. Trent gets in some flashy moves at the start to get the crowd behind him and Swagger narrowly avoids being pinned. Then Jack cheats to gain the upper hand and unloads with the heavy artillery, pummeling Trent for several minutes.
Swagger goes for the anklelock and just as is appears Barreta's about to tap, he gets to the ropes. Swagger's clearly frustrated (maybe have him drop the straps on his singlet; I know it's a Kurt Angle rip-off but who cares, I think it would totally fit) and has had enough. He sets up Trent for the gutwrench power bomb. But as Jack lifts him, Barreta is able to counter with a creative pinning combination and get the win. Crowd erupts! Trent quickly slides out of the ring and celebrates. Swagger throws a tantrum. The ultimate underdog has made it into the Smackdown Elimination Chamber and a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship.
So the night of the pay-per-view, interview Trent Barreta backstage. Have him talk about how this is a dream come true, opportunity of a lifetime, etc. In the match, have it come down to Barreta and the champion, Daniel Bryan. Bryan has just eliminated the last contender and as he turns he realizes Barreta, who is laying on the opposite end of the ring after getting the crap kicked out of him, is still in the match. Like Swagger, Bryan smirks at the prospect of an easy win. Then he and Barreta proceed to tear the house down.
Trent starts out sluggish, having absorbed lots of punishment throughout the match. But after some stiff offense by Bryan, Barreta starts to fire up. Hopefully, the crowd would be solidly behind the challenger at this point thanks to his ability to survive and also a few high spots sprinkled in throughout the match, and start chanting for him. Trent goes on the offensive and pushes Bryan to the absolute brink, even scoring a 2 and 0.9999 count. Just when it seems like he might actually pull off the upset, Bryan is able to cinch up the LeBell Lock. Trent fights it for as long as he can but eventually has to tap out. Bryan's celebration is hastened by his exhaustion and the fact that he realizes that he narrowly escaped with his title so, he's not elated about the win. He doesn't do his "Yes! Yes! Yes!" but instead, hurries backstage, clutching the title belt.
Barreta meanwhile, struggles to his feet, selling everything that he's just been through and leaves to a standing ovation.
From now on, Daniel Bryan refuses to answer questions about Trent Barreta and gets angry whenever anyone tries to press the issue. This underlying tension would be the basis for a rematch months, perhaps even a year down the road.
Meanwhile, on the next Smackdown, Trent Barreta comes out to another huge reaction from the crowd but is interrupted by the U.S. Champion Jack Swagger who claims Barreta got lucky in the gauntlet match and that he'd never beat him one-on-one. So a match is set up for the two of them that night.
Traditional wisdom would dictate that the match be non-title and that Barreta win. However, I say, let's do the opposite! Have the match be for the title and have Swagger win by cheating. This sets up the rematch which I would save for WrestleMania. The build up to Barreta winning the U.S. Title could be what the build for Zack Ryder winning it should have been.
The benefits of this storyline:
-The Smackdown Elimination Chamber has a storyline that makes it compelling rather than just the other Chamber match.
-The World Heavyweight Championship gains prestige because of how hard Bryan had to fight to keep it, and the excitement of Barreta possibly winning it.
-The U.S. Title gains importance because of a compelling storyline attached to it and the fact that Barreta actually values winning it.
-Talented workers like Swagger and especially Barreta, have something significant to do that actually helps establish them as stars of the future.
-The subplot between Barreta and Bryan gives the WWE something that they can develop at any time should a challenger for the WHC be needed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)