It's a little dated but here's my review form Impact Wrestling on Spike TV for Thursday, April 5th.
SEGMENT 1. We're treated to a 10-minute Hogan lovefest that was basically just to set up the card for tonight's show. My solution: Have Tenay and Taz allude to Hogan "shaking things up" since taking over as the GM, give the rundown, and start the first match.
SEGMENT 2. First half of Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle. It was an okay match but my question is, AGAIN??
SEGMENT 3. Second half of Hardy-Angle. A clean win by Angle would've been nice but maybe the fact that he lost means he's going over at Lockdown. My point is, Who cares? It's basically more WCW-style booking in which the same old guys wrestle the same old guys. Not only are these guys old (not that they're bad workers, but they're definitely on the downside), but they're unreliable. Why build a featured pay-per-view match around them? At least have them work with younger, more reliable talent as a way of building stars of the future! There was some backstage stuff between Hogan and Angle, Ric Flair calling Eric Bischoff, and a promo by Bully Ray against Austin Aries. So far, two of the three segments we've had have featured Hogan and Flair. Bully Ray's promo was fine.
SEGMENT 4. Bully Ray has an in-ring confrontation with Austin Aries and just no-sells about fifty punches to the head. It's obvious Aries is smaller than Bully Ray, but constantly referring to it, is NOT the way to build Aries up as one of the "regular" guys. They need to take a cue from the WWE, when they were building up Shawn Michaels, even when he was matched up with giants like Undertaker, Kevin Nash, and Sid, they NEVER pointed out the size differential. They'd promote the size and strength of the giant but never how much smaller Shawn was. As much as I'm glad Aries is getting a push, I'm afraid in the long run, it's not going to advance his career much, especially if Bully Ray continues not selling for him. Abyss' "brother" had a backstage segment. Not a fan but glad he's finally gotten a gimmick change. Maybe it pays off.
SEGMENT 5. AJ Styles and James Storm decide to have a match and there just happens to be time for it? Since when do wrestlers decide to just go out and have a match? Why did this whole backstage conversation have to happen? Just have the match announced at the beginning of the show and put this time to better use! Speaking of time wasted, the Knockouts involved in the 6-way challenge all get separate introductions. I like intros in multiple-wrestler matches like this...but it's Impact Wrestling's ghetto intros...and it's the Knockouts. Who cares? This whole segment could've gone to something else.
SEGMENT 6. Knockouts have a 6-way, which at first sounds appealing but when you realize they were wrestling, it become much less so. The worst wrestler of the six (and that's saying something) ends up winning. I realize that the Knockouts have their place, but when they're given this much time, and most of them are just terrible in the ring, and you have talented workers on the roster who aren't on tv, something's wrong. Bobby Roode and his security team have a backstage segment with Mr. Anderson, who I used to think was good enough to be a "face of the company" type guy, but he's lost some of his "mojo" in my opinion. It may be the result of his bass ackwards booking and not having anything meaningful to do, but he really laid an egg in this segment.
SEGMENT 7. James Storm and Jeff Hardy hanging out at some country music awards show. I applaud this because it's the kind of thing WWE would do. Anytime one of their Superstars participates in type of event beyond wrestling, the WWE is all over it which is smart because it's good exposure. So hopefully, Impact Wrestling has gotten the hint and the trend will continue. Eric Young's bachelor party was epically bad. I think the guy's a good worker and definitely has charisma, but he's gone through so many incarnations that it's just time to move on. It wasn't funny. It was just embarrassingly awful.
SEGMENT 8. James Storm beats AJ Styles clean in a decent match. I understand them giving Storm a win to help build his momentum leading up to Lockdown, but it shouldn't have been against someone like AJ. AJ Styles should be one of the top guys in the company, not high-end enhancement talent. Another Hogan backstage segment, this time with Sting.
SEGMENT 9. James Storm backstage with Montgomery Gentry (who are famous I guess?). Bobby Roode walks up with his entourage and spits water in their faces. I like that. The heel wrestling champion should punk celebrities, especially if they're associating with his arch-rival. This would've been enough Bobby Roode for me (and his match with Mr. Anderson). It was his best segment, and he gained some solid heel heat. The rest of the stuff where he appeared just felt like overkill.
SEGMENT 10. The Motor City Machine Guns are back! And no one cares. Seriously, both of these guys should've moved on by now. I personally think Alex Shelley has great potential as a singles wrestler. Then again, he is working for Impact Wrestling. Another Bischoff-Flair backstage segment.
SEGMENT 11. Hogan and Bischoff have an in-ring confrontation. It was just horrible. The only other names mentioned were (surprise!) Garrett Bischoff and Gunner.
SEGMENT 12. Bobby Roode beats Mr. Anderson by cheating, which would've been fine with me BUT Hogan couldn't let the show end without making sure his favorite person, himself, graced the screen one last time. He comes out and reverses the decision. So in total, that makes FIVE OUT OF TWELVE segments that featured Hulk Hogan.
And Impact Wrestling wonders why they're not doing better?
Actually, maybe they're not wondering. Maybe they think they're doing great! That would be make sense since Hogan has added NOTHING to the bottom line since joining the company and yet they continue to put him on tv as if it's going to help them.
Meanwhile, according to Impact Wrestling's website (http://www.impactwrestling.com/roster/Wrestler-Roster), there are currently thirty-four wrestlers employed by the company not including Knockouts or guys who only compete occasionally like Hogan, Flair and Sting. Exactly FOURTEEN of those thirty-four wrestlers appeared on the show. That's approximately forty one percent of the current roster of active wrestlers.
That means MORE THAN HALF the competent wrestlers on the company's payroll aren't even on tv. While entire segments are being devoted to Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, Sting, even Dixie Carter!
I haven't kept up regularly with Impact Wrestling but figured I'd take a moment to watch the show and provide some thoughtful analysis so that I could at least honestly say I'd give it a chance.
And after doing so, can only come to this conclusion, the "Impact Zone" is aptly named because anyone who enters it is sure to have their stool impacted Ed Leslie-style. Apparently when Gorilla Monsoon dubbed Hogan "immortal" in 1990, ol' Hulk took it literally!
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