Review Without Honor: Death Before Dishonor X: Steen vs. Rhino

A more appropriate title might have been Dead Before It Hit The Ground, because that essentially describes Ring of Honor's internet Pay-Per-View feed.

I had planned on doing a full show review but since I missed THE ENTIRE FIRST HALF, you're getting a half-assed one instead. (Half-assed as far as content is concerned, not quality. Trust me, it'll be good.)

As usual, with my ROH reviews, we'll start with the main event because unlike Ring of Honor, I'm not here to waste your time and maybe that's all you're really interested in. So here goes...

KEVIN STEEN def. RHINO (ROH World Title)

This match-up was the real draw for me and reason I even ordered the pay-per-view. So I guess in that sense, I got my money's worth because this was a very good match.

Before the bell, Jim Cornette made an appearance and announced that he was making it a No-Disqualification match, which allowed for an extra level of violence and helped the overall match quality because as a result, we got a nice table spot with Rhino flying over the top rope and through Steen who was positioned on a table outside the ring (Sick!), as well as plenty of chair shots and outside interference.

Needless to say, it was a pretty wild match but the wrestlers both did a good job of selling which added just the right amount of drama (something which, if you frequent this blog page regularly, you'd know I've been critical of Ring of Honor contests for lacking).

The best part was the finish because it was believable. Too often in ROH, a wrestler will kick out of pin attempts following some of the most outrageous moves, then get beat with a pedestrian finisher, like Steen's F-Sync (still going strong as Wrestling's Most Poorly Named Finisher), which is basically Brock Lesnar's F5. I'm not even a fan of this move when Brock does it, but if you want to make it a devastating move because it looks unique, fine.

In a match like this though, a simple "F-Sync" should NOT have gotten the job done. Steen hit it at one point but thankfully, Rhino kicked out of the pin attempt. It was the F-Sync that ultimately won the match for Steen, but it came after Rhino missed a Gore, causing him to smash through another table. Perfectly acceptable finish in this author's all-knowing opininon.

The match was certainly worth any wrestling's fans time, but not necessarily worth fifteen dollars (the cost to stream the iPPV). I mean, Rhino put on an equally good match for free on ROH's TV show just a couple of weeks ago against Eddie Edwards.

There was some stuff in the aftermath in which Michael Elgin came out and attempted to power bomb Steen as a set-up for their title match at the next iPPV, but he was accidentally thwarted by his stablemate Roderick Strong. This lead to Elgin power bombing Strong and essentially ending their "partnership." This is fine because it's what the fans who regularly watch ROH and are privy to the build-up have been waiting for, but it felt like it was wasted by just being thrown in to the end of this World title match that didn't involve either guy.

I've said before that the build-up for the Elgin-Strong rivalry has been one of the best things that ROH has been doing lately and I've been waiting for the kettle to boil over so to speak because you knew it had to happen sooner or later and both guys had been playing their roles well. It would've been nice had it happened during a match that these guys were actually involved where the attention of the crowd was completely focused on them. Besides, Strong's slight seemed minor compared to more blatant things he's done to Elgin in the past for Elgin to suddenly snap now.

My last word on this segment is, solid match with lots of fun spots, and decent lead-in to the next show's main event. Question is, how many potential purchasers will think twice about ordering for fear of encountering the same issues with the streaming?

STEVE CORINO & JIMMY JACOBS def RHETT TITUS & CHARLIE HAAS (Finals of the ROH Tag Team Title tournament)

I would've liked to have seen the two semi-final matches that I assume took place earlier in the card. But it hardly matters because this match was the shits. It literally felt like the crowd was asleep, they were so devoid of any noise whatsoever.

It's understandable. These aren't necessarily high spot teams and that seems to be what ROH's fanbase is used to. I appreciated the unique dynamice of seeing Haas go up against Corino and Jacobs because they're all heels. As interesting as that was however, it couldn't make up for a boring, predictable match.

Jacbos pins Titus after Haas' usual tag team partner, Shelton Benjamin, lays him out with his finisher, Pay Dirt. I'm sure there's some storyline reason that Titus was teaming with Haas in the first place but, what the fuck did he expect??

My last word on this segment is, boring match with a bittersweet payoff. Jacobs & Corino winning the tag belts, along with Steen as World Champion, strengthens their stable's "influence" within the company which could lead to something promising, but all we get out of Titus and Haas teaming together is their already boring feud being perpetuated.

ADAM COLE def. MIKE MONDO (ROH Television Title)

At the start of the match, Mondo gets Cole to agree to a "No Fear" match, which apparently means no time limit and no rules. Fine.

That being the case, Mondo, as the challenger, should've been completely ruthless and relentless. He wasn't. The match ended with Mondo twice pausing instead of stomping Cole in the head, so he could attempt a top rope stomp. Stomp him twice, then go to the top rope, ya asshole! You want to win the fucking title, don't you?!

Long story short, Mondo misses the top rope stomp, which aggravates his wounded knee (see what I did there?), leaving him vulnerable to the champion's Figure Four Leglock. Mondo taps, Cole retains his title.

Apparently another provision of a "No Fear" match is also no game plan because Mondo seemed completely clueless as to how to go about winning a title. For instance, if you're opponent has been working your leg over, do you really want to be attempting a top rope stomp?

Matt Hardy made his ROH debut on commentary and sucked a bag of dicks. Not the best way to bring him in. He was terrible. He confronted Cole after the match, which again, is a nice lead-in but you just got the feeling they could've done so much more with it.

My last word on this segment is, despite the solid action, Mondo's stupidity caused the overall match quality to suffer. Why? Because it made Cole's win almost seem elementary. That being said, much love for the TV Champ finishing people with the oldest of old-school submission holds. Too many great wrestling maneuvers have lost their luster over the years. Nice to see one of them making a comeback.

MICHAEL ELGIN & RODERICK STRONG def. JAKE & DAVE CRIST


The point behind this match was to sell the dissension existing between Elgin and Strong as well as give Elgin some nice power spots.

My problem with it? They just did this for free on their TV show a couple of weeks ago. Why ask fans to pay to see it now? At least have the blow-up that we've been waiting for between these two take place at the end of this match. That would've been a nice way to cap it off.

My last word regarding this segment is, total waste of time. Who gives a shit if the Crists are good workers? They're nobody to me, and I want to pay to watch them wrestle?? Give me somebody I care about instead.

And sadly, that's where the review ends because I was forced to join it "in progress" after waiting NINETY MINUTES for Ring of Honor's pay-per-view stream to work. I would like to have heard what Davey Richards had to say in his return address to the crowd. I also would like to have seen the ROH debut of ACH against one of my favorites, Kyle O'Reilly. Instead, I had to spend my time drafting an email asking ROH for a full refund (which I fully intend to receive because I'll be ding-danged if they're going to be counting MY money!)

I had actually given up on the show until one of my good pals with The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast (my favorite wrestling show by the way), Shining Wizard Matt, practically begged me to give it another chance. He found a creative way to spend his time waiting for the stream to work as well. He wrote his own blog about wrestling promotions and all the ups and downs they encounter with iPPV technology, which you can read by clicking here.

Have to give a shout out to another of my favorites, Tommaso Ciampa, who is currently sidelined with an injury, for providing some comic relief during the lack of a broadcast with some of the things he was posting on his Twitter account as he too, was also in the dark like the rest of us.

My last word about this show is, it's a badly dropped ball and a damn shame. Like I've said before, I want companies like Ring of Honor to succeed, but if they can't provide better than this(better matches, better storylines, better technology), why should I waste my time and money? I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that way. I may give it another try, but they may have lost some potential fans for good.

And that's the last word, ya freaks. Until next time.....discuss!


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Ring Around The RHINO

(Obnoxious Author's Note: If you haven't read my "Rant of Honor" post from a week ago, GET ON THAT SHIT, SON!!!)

As promised, I am giving Ring of Honor every possible chance to impress me. So I watched their tv show going into the big pay-per-view, "Border Wars" that was this weekend (that I didn't watch because I'm broker than Job's turkey thank you very much).

Along those lines, why do all these indy feds have iPPVs running the weekend of Mother's Day, the second highest gift-giving day in the United States? I'm sure there are plenty of people who have the money to take care of Mom AND get their wrestling fix, but for people like me who've got a wife that doubles as the mother of my children, my own mother, my mother-in-law, and three sisters-in-law to shop for, a little better planning on behalf of these wrestling promotions with regard to the scheduling of their big events would be appreciated.

But I digress....

In case you haven't seen the latest Ring of Honor tv show and are wondering what I'm talking about, I have conveniently linked the show from their YouTube page for you here.

Now that you're all caught up, let's get into it, shall we?

-THE BRISCOE BROTHERS (ROH Tag Team Champions) vs CEDRIC ALEXANDER & CAPRICE COLEMAN
What I liked about this non-title match was that it furthered the existing storyline between the Briscoes and The World's Greatest Tag Team while also advancing Alexander & Coleman. If the WWE (or TNA for that matter) could learn anything from ROH, it's how to run a tag division. This was one of those beautiful situations where everybody wins in terms of the outcome of the match.

Where the match "lost" was with regard to the action itself. Once again, I got the sense that these four guys were just executing moves on each other with no real build or flow to the action. There were a lot of moves that could've easily been finishers that the guys kept kicking out of.

The move that actually did end the match was impressive and cleanly executed despite being a very difficult move to pull off but what these team need to learn is that sometimes it's better to live off the milk than to sell the cow. (I don't know, I'm making this up as I go.)

The last word on this match is, as effective as it was from a booking perspective, if this is the kind of action I'm going to get as a payoff, I'm not sold.

-RHINO MAKES HIS ROH DEBUT
In case you haven't noticed, I try not to spoil the match results because I'm trying to generate interest in wrestling of every kind. If you're not a regular ROH watcher but decide to check it out after reading my blog, I want you to enjoy their show the way wrestling was meant to be enjoyed, unspoiled.

In this case, unfortunately, there's no way around that so...*SPOILER ALERT!* RHINO crushes a jobber. And he looks damn awesome doing it! That's his appeal though so, props to him for going with what works. He's the reason for the title of this blog. He was smartly sandwiched in the middle of the show and was the one thing that truly had me wanting to tune in next week to see what they do with him.

What didn't work was the backstage segment he had with Prince Nana, R.D. Evans, and Truth Martini. It was one of those things in wrestling, like "Mean" Gene Okerlund dancing with the Gobbledy Gooker, that make even a die hard fan like myself want to deny that I watch it. Although, Truth did redeem himself with the in-ring promo he cut prior to the match.

The last word on this match is, keep RHINO in the ring and off the mic, and over-the-top caricatures are fine as long as they don't make me want to change the channel and pretend like I was watching something else when someone walks into the room.

-IN-RING SEGMENT FEATURING KEVIN STEEN, JIMMY JACOBS, DAVEY RICHARDS AND JIM CORNETTE
This was to promote the upcoming ROH World Title match at "Border Wars" between the champion Richards and the challenger Steen.

As a talker, you don't have to hit a home run every time, and Kevin Steen definitely did not in this segment, but he came off a WHOLE lot better than Davey Richards did. Being new to Ring of Honor and not knowing much about any of these guys, I'm definitely more drawn to Steen even though he's the heel in this angle. Richards just came across as painfully bland to me.

On the plus side (insert fat joke here) I enjoyed seeing Jim Cornette as an authority figure. It was my first time seeing him in that role.

The last word on this segment is, this match definitely requires commitment on behalf of the viewer. You need to have some time invested in these wrestlers to really care about this match because nothing they've done on the last two tv shows I've seen has sparked my interest enough to consider buying the pay-per-view. I understand that they pretty much HAD to do this segment in order to advance the storyline, but for the sake of the bottom line, perhaps a video package spliced together that ran down the journey of each wrestler leading up to this match would have been more effective, especially considering that the argument Steen is making is that he has been overlooked by management while Richards has been favored by management. But that's just me spitballin'. On to the next!

-RODERICK STRONG (ROH TV Champion) vs ADAM COLE
I like that the Television championship is being defended every week. It's an old-school thing but if you're going to bother with a TV Championship, you might as well do it right.

The guys smartly stayed away from Strong's weakness (see what I did there?) by not throwing any strikes other than chops. And the moves they were executing, while impressive, weren't the kind of moves that you shouldn't kick out of. The match had a nice rhythm, and the finish helped build another one of the pay-per-view matches, which was good.

The last word on this match is, a solid cap to the show. Good action that was paced well, and the finish helped advance everyone involved. If Ring of Honor stresses the quality of its wrestling as its strength, then this match certainly showcased that.

Overall, this episode of Ring of Honor Wrestling still didn't sell me on their product completely, but I'm warming up to it. Not enough to consider buying their pay-per-view, which at this point has already passed anyway, but enough to keep giving them a chance.

It's going to be an uphill battle though. I won't say there are a lot of things working against them, but there are enough that as of right now, I don't see myself ever becoming a huge Ring of Honor fan. The promos are all sub-par, some are even terrible. The in-ring action is decent but the subtleties of storytelling are still lacking for the most part. So Jim Cornette, if you're reading this, work on that shit for next week!

That's the last word. Until next time, discuss!