Alright, so not only is it not a secret, but apparently we're screaming it from the fucking rooftops!
And the rooftop is collapsing.
What's this got to do with wrestling, you ask? Simple, we Americans are fat because we're constantly wanting MORE. We're Americans after all. We fought for our independence (well, actually, our forefathers' forefathers did because had we been the ones fighting we'd have all collapsed from heart failure charging up the first hill) and if it can be Super Sized, then by God we're gonna Super Size it!
And that's the prevailing mentality here in the good ol' U.S. of A. MORE is BETTER. So when Americans took over the WWE in the form of shareholders, guess what happened? This same mentality took over as well.
The result? Seven and a half hours of original WWE programming every week. EVERY WEEK!
I know this argument has been made countless times before BUT (that's right assholes, I'm about to make it again)...take a popular weekly sitcom like ABC's Modern Family. In four seasons they've run a grand total of seventy-six episodes. That's nineteen episodes per season. WWE's Monday Night Raw, by comparison, doesn't have "seasons." It runs every week, all year long. No breaks. Modern Family's total running time is twenty-two minutes. Raw's total running time? Two hours and fifteen minutes.
So by the American mentality, Raw should be crushing Modern Family every week in the ratings, right? After all, more is better, isn't it?
Guess again, fatty. Modern Family is not only a critical success, having won multiple awards but it is also a commercial success currently averaging 12.71 million viewers each week, nearly FOUR TIMES as many viewers as last week's Monday Night Raw.
Close your mouth, you chubby cherub, before your dinner falls out.
The truth is, when it comes to writing compelling television, when it comes to entertaining the masses, LESS is MORE!
It's not easy being entertaining twenty-four seven. Why do you think you don't get one of these blogs every single week? There's only so many interesting things to write about in an entertaining manner. So to avoid putting out a crappy product, I don't write a blog until a) I have some interesting material to work with, and b) I'm convinced that I can make it entertaining. If I come up short in one of those two areas, guess what? I DON'T PUBLISH IT!
But do you think WWE has the foresight to do that? Nope. Because we've got to have MORE! It's actually quite poetic that the catchphrase of the new Superstar their pushing is...
I certainly don't think this was done on purpose simply because, as I stated earlier, I just don't believe WWE has the foresight to be so blatantly subtle. I chalk it up to the magic of irony, which has owned more bitches since the beginning of time than George Clooney.
Let me try to explain this phenomenon with one example before we get to my Last Word. WWE recently debuted their newest weekly show, Main Event on ION Television. It's an hour-long show focusing primarily on one match, the Main Event if you will (Daddy!). The announcers talk up the importance of the main event, there's a video package about each wrestler involved, and the wrestlers are interviewed backstage. Then you have the match itself, usually a contest lasting about twenty minutes, featuring decent action. This is followed up by a much shorter undercard bout. All in all, it's not a bad show. I like the fact that the in-ring product is the focal point.
However, when you have FIVE HOURS of programming to fill every week already, do you really need one more?? Especially when the one hour devoted to Main Event, is nothing that couldn't be done as part of any other show! It wasn't that long ago that Raw went from two hours to three hours. That extra time could easily be taken up by what they're doing on Main Event.
I understand the logistics. Another show on another network means more eyes on the product, more advertising dollars, more sponsorship money, yadda yadda. But the creative aspect is suffering.
How is it suffering? What's my chief complaint, you ask? Simple. Nothing is memorable anymore. It's the difference between all-you-can-eat and fine dining. Now, to me, fine dining is a delicious, one-of-a-kind cheeseburger. But give me one of those bad boys, let me savor it, and I'm good. But if I'm at an all-you-can eat place, sure I'm tasting the first bite, but after that I'm trying to cram as much food down my gullet as I can to make sure I'm getting my money's worth.
What's the result? I'm no longer savoring what I'm eating. The experience is no longer memorable. That's what WWE has become. What was the best match on Smackdown last week? How about the best match on Raw two weeks ago? What is the best match you've seen in the last two years? How does that match compare to other good matches you've seen in the past?
I realize that sometimes we can pick out certain things about an all-you-can-eat experience that are memorable, but if you've ever experienced fine dining, you know that food is capable of being so much better. That's my complaint. Professional wrestling, as an entertaining art form, can be so much more than what it is in World Wrestling Entertainment. And it's a shame when something with so much potential to be great, is being wrapped in paper and flung out of a drive-thru window.
One more example, and I'll make this my Last Word. In 1988, if you found out that the main event of a WWF Superstars of Wrestling that week was going to be Jumpin' Jim Brunzell against Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, you would be excited about it. Now, someone who is a fan of the current product and didn't grow up during that time might say, "Who gives a fuck about two midcarders in the main event?" And to that my response is, "Exactly."
Think about it, Junior. That's the Last Word. Until next time, true believers......DISCUSS!
{Our intrepid author, "Handsome" Dan Lopez is a regular mention on his favorite wrestling show, The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast. Follow him on Twitter @DansLastWord.}
